Yuri Girl 1001 posted:

The first 10 pages were ultra adorable. First time skip made no sense whatsoever. Author honestly should either skip it or put more thought into it/flesh it out better cos it only ended up as a mess that overshadows the great first half.

I had no problem with the time skips; I liked the way the story jumped forward to show how things worked out. This was an extremely cute story. I liked it a lot.

I don't mind time skips, but especially first one made no sense. Ok, so it opens with scene that suggest clearly they are living together for a while now. But MC is looking at photos of kid which she send her before and all have long hair, then she comes back and remove wig. So MC complains why she cut her hair. Wait what? I seriously had to pause to re-read it and try to understand. So from age 5 kid knew clearly that MC likes long hair and even send her exclusively a photos with long hair, but now it is suggested she actually had/at some point cut her hair short, but she purposely wore wig to deceive MC? What? And she says she is doing it for MC, but she removes wig the moment she comes back home, so she is doing it for everyone but MC. So if she knew it would piss MC and would be pain in the first place why she cut her hair? So now after MC got mad (not a first time I assume, if it is first time it is even more stretched then) only now she decided to wear wig at home too? And when it isn't working, feeling guilty she decides to grow her hair again and that somehow leads us into random sex (which is not even shown in full) that only happened cos that supposedly makes hair grown faster. My guess is because we reached 3/4 length of doujin and that is where sex scene usually happens. Next time skip is actually nice and shows in that 1 page much better how their live looks right now, but after the clusterfuck of previous one, I spend way too much time trying to make any sense of, I couldn't really get into it anymore.

Like, I get it that it is supposed to charming. Them bickering as a couple. But it really made no sense and felt more like author had some ideas how they life could look after time skip and just crammed it together in few pages, but didn't actually think through if it would make sense for characters to act like that. To me their interaction just contradicted each other. They feel like just random stuff that clashes with one another and things just happen so it can lead to implied sex cos that is how 3/4 part of doujin is supposed to go. First 10 pages were great cos they felt genuine and flow nice. After time skip it is no longer genuine, flow is terrible and it more feels like by the numbers, what doujins should have. And even thought I don't mind second time skip, it entirely focuses on the whole "growing hair again" part so its potential felt a bit wasted, maybe if that was the first and only time skip instead and all pages were used on it, I'd like it much better. Author (I think) had no limitation about pages, but I guess she decided to go for 16 as it is standard number for short one shot, but if so, she really should have put more thought into it if she was limiting herself like that.

"That reminds me of when we first met. You had such long hair, so you were naughty from young age" I was totally sure she was going to say it ;x What a wasted opportunity for a joke.

last edited at Jun 23, 2016 9:29AM

What a nice cute little story!
They had lots of sex, and lots of hair. Happiest ending!

I kinda like more long hair. But having long hair is complicated. :S

This one goes in the nomination list for best short 2016.

Also for best long 2016

That was just about the sweetest thing I've seen in ages... An age gap story that doesn't come across as icky or wrong...

Author's notes about this one-shot:
"My apologies for those who helped me with the translation and such, but this story was rejected by Yuri Hime. Because it's a shame to leave it, I've uploaded it here (pixiv). It's a bit embarrassing to see it now, but I've done all I could so I have no regrets! I'll learn from my mistakes. Thanks for everyone who helped me! I'll treat you all to something next time."

Author's notes about this one-shot:
"My apologies for those who helped me with the translation and such, but this story was rejected by Yuri Hime.

wtf

im fine either way. Cute manga.

adorable, i wish it was longer, but it was enjoyable.

Yuri Girl 1001 posted:

The first 10 pages were ultra adorable. First time skip made no sense whatsoever. Author honestly should either skip it or put more thought into it/flesh it out better cos it only ended up as a mess that overshadows the great first half.

I had no problem with the time skips; I liked the way the story jumped forward to show how things worked out. This was an extremely cute story. I liked it a lot.

I don't mind time skips, but especially first one made no sense. Ok, so it opens with scene that suggest clearly they are living together for a while now. But MC is looking at photos of kid which she send her before and all have long hair, then she comes back and remove wig. So MC complains why she cut her hair. Wait what? I seriously had to pause to re-read it and try to understand. So from age 5 kid knew clearly that MC likes long hair and even send her exclusively a photos with long hair, but now it is suggested she actually had/at some point cut her hair short, but she purposely wore wig to deceive MC? What? And she says she is doing it for MC, but she removes wig the moment she comes back home, so she is doing it for everyone but MC. So if she knew it would piss MC and would be pain in the first place why she cut her hair? So now after MC got mad (not a first time I assume, if it is first time it is even more stretched then) only now she decided to wear wig at home too? And when it isn't working, feeling guilty she decides to grow her hair again and that somehow leads us into random sex (which is not even shown in full) that only happened cos that supposedly makes hair grown faster. My guess is because we reached 3/4 length of doujin and that is where sex scene usually happens. Next time skip is actually nice and shows in that 1 page much better how their live looks right now, but after the clusterfuck of previous one, I spend way too much time trying to make any sense of, I couldn't really get into it anymore.

Like, I get it that it is supposed to charming. Them bickering as a couple. But it really made no sense and felt more like author had some ideas how they life could look after time skip and just crammed it together in few pages, but didn't actually think through if it would make sense for characters to act like that. To me their interaction just contradicted each other. They feel like just random stuff that clashes with one another and things just happen so it can lead to implied sex cos that is how 3/4 part of doujin is supposed to go. First 10 pages were great cos they felt genuine and flow nice. After time skip it is no longer genuine, flow is terrible and it more feels like by the numbers, what doujins should have. And even thought I don't mind second time skip, it entirely focuses on the whole "growing hair again" part so its potential felt a bit wasted, maybe if that was the first and only time skip instead and all pages were used on it, I'd like it much better. Author (I think) had no limitation about pages, but I guess she decided to go for 16 as it is standard number for short one shot, but if so, she really should have put more thought into it if she was limiting herself like that.

"That reminds me of when we first met. You had such long hair, so you were naughty from young age" I was totally sure she was going to say it ;x What a wasted opportunity for a joke.

Yeah, that interaction after the time skip was weird as hell. It was like we missed some pages or something.

Age Gap! Yassssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can understand why it was rejected by Yuri Hime. It lacks a firm structure. Both characters are cute and it was off to a good start, but then the timeskip made things confusing. Hair suddenly became super-important, even though the emphasis was not really on it in the first part.

But if some editor had reworked it, I think it would have had its place in Yuri Hime.

Author's notes about this one-shot:
"My apologies for those who helped me with the translation and such, but this story was rejected by Yuri Hime. Because it's a shame to leave it, I've uploaded it here (pixiv). It's a bit embarrassing to see it now, but I've done all I could so I have no regrets! I'll learn from my mistakes. Thanks for everyone who helped me! I'll treat you all to something next time."

Translation? Tima isnt Japanese?

Im a sucker for long hair(´ω｀*)

Author's notes about this one-shot:
"My apologies for those who helped me with the translation and such, but this story was rejected by Yuri Hime. Because it's a shame to leave it, I've uploaded it here (pixiv). It's a bit embarrassing to see it now, but I've done all I could so I have no regrets! I'll learn from my mistakes. Thanks for everyone who helped me! I'll treat you all to something next time."

Translation? Tima isnt Japanese?

She's Korean.

Adorable as heck. Second best Tima story I have read so far...

Behind the mother daughter porn book one, of course. That one is a legend

last edited at Jun 24, 2016 7:19AM

awww so cute and fluffy!

I can understand why it was rejected by Yuri Hime. It lacks a firm structure. Both characters are cute and it was off to a good start, but then the timeskip made things confusing. Hair suddenly became super-important, even though the emphasis was not really on it in the first part.

But if some editor had reworked it, I think it would have had its place in Yuri Hime.

Still better then most stuff published in Yuri Hime. At least it has an actual yuri ending. ;)

I can understand why it was rejected by Yuri Hime. It lacks a firm structure. Both characters are cute and it was off to a good start, but then the timeskip made things confusing. Hair suddenly became super-important, even though the emphasis was not really on it in the first part.

But if some editor had reworked it, I think it would have had its place in Yuri Hime.

I disagree people in relationships argue of small things all the time. She isn't noticing the short hair just now! It just a tick the older character has. We just witness a small glimpse into their lives. I didnt find the subject very important but rather just everyday life. Some of the conclusions are reaching

last edited at Jun 24, 2016 11:20AM

Why am I not okay with older girl dates a little girl and then I feel okay when they're both grown up? I don't know, it just she is such a baby girl! >.<

Yuri girls are all so cute !! > v <

Hahaha!

Why am I not okay with older girl dates a little girl and then I feel okay when they're both grown up? I don't know, it just she is such a baby girl! >.<

cause age doesn't matter after they're both adults! :D

It WAS a little hard to follow, but as someone who vastly prefers long hair - and has a best friend who is, if possible, even more zealous on the subject - it's great to finally get a story about hair getting longer, not being cut short, as is all too often the case.

(And yes, it is a lot of work, but that's another great thing about two girls together, they can help each other with hair care~)

last edited at Jun 30, 2016 8:26AM

Age Gap is the best :3

The object of the older girl's affection seemed so genki that this might have even been able to turn into an upbeat and soothing kataomoi story first before segueing into the age gap story. (Wait, am I really asking for that?!)