@Kanonchan: I approve of your avatar. XD Erika's the best worst girl.

I'm not surprised by the chapter as I don't think there was any other way, any other logical way, for the story to go based on how it has gone thus far.

Yeah, considering both Yuu and Touko's characters, something had to go wrong in this fashion at some point…

Ohh mah gawd why you do this to mee

Fuck Touko, dumb bitch. Yuu finally returns your feelings and now ur not interested in her anymore? What are u, a guy? I cant believe im getting so upset at a fictional story lol

1. Touko always said she didnt want Yuu to fall for her. That's the entire reason Yuu waited so long to confess.
2. Touko is still interested. She can't get over her insecurities yet.

As usual, there are so many thoughtful comments here (as well as some knee-jerk emotional responses) that it’s a little hard to figure out exactly who and what to quote, so I’ll just say that I agree with a lot of what’s been said in the thoughtful comments.

Although both Yuu and Touko are feeling bad at the moment, it’s worth remembering exactly where each one is emotionally and how they’ve gotten here.

Yuu has always been a very straightforward person, and although it takes a long time for her to make a decision, she sticks with the consequences of that decision once she’s made it. So, as a kind of very non-romantic parallel, for Yuu it’s as if she’s tried out for a sports team and didn’t make the cut, and now it hurts, but that’s that.

But Touko has always been both stubborn and incredibly conflicted on the inside, and, as we clearly see in this chapter, she’s just now trying to come to terms with very recent fundamental changes to her own conception of herself. So at this point her psyche consists of a conglomeration of leftover shards of her old self and of new possibilities that she’s only beginning to perceive.

Yuu previously was “the one I love because she can’t love me and the only oasis from the pressure of being the fake me.” But now Touko is realizing that she doesn’t have to be (or rather, consider herself) a fake anymore. So where does that leave Yuu? Notice that there’s no anger or resentment at Yuu for deceiving her or disappointing her, just the sense that she misses her.

I read the “Yuu is no longer special to me” line not as saying “I don’t need or care about Yuu anymore,” but as “I’ve realized that I’m no longer so emotionally fucked up as to believe that only one person in the universe will accept me as I really am.” So Touko still has a bunch of stuff to straighten out in her own head before there can be a happy romantic ending, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see it taking more than a chapter or two to work itself out.

Side issue #1: Touko didn’t “try to talk to Yuu”—she created the opportunity for a talk, but then realized she had nothing to say that could fix things (at the moment).

Side issue #2: That panel on page 7 is Yuu’s memory of Akari crying, and her realization that she herself isn’t crying, correct? Only Koyomi seems to realize that Yuu isn’t being her normal self.

last edited at Sep 30, 2018 12:54PM

Yuu has always been a very straightforward person, and although it takes a long time for her to make a decision, she sticks with the consequences of that decision once she’s made it. So, as a kind of very non-romantic parallel, for Yuu it’s as if she’s tried out for a sports team and didn’t make the cut, and now it hurts, but that’s that.

Let's elaborate on Yuu a bit, cuz that kinda sells her emotional state short. Yuu has always been a logical thinker who rationalizes her emotions. She is very disconnected from her own feelings, so she uses what she sees/hears from others as a meter to compare hers to so it is easier for her to understand. This of course leads to a lot of confusion for her since she experiences these emotions differently from others & this is how this whole story started. This chapter brings back Yuu's initial struggle to the table (a clear callback to ch 1). She is trying to rationalize her heartbreak by second-guessing her feelings. "Oh, I didn't cry like Akari after rejection, so it might not have been love after all." This backward thinking is not because Yuu hasn't developed at all throughout the course of the story, she has changed, as Touko stated in ch 34. It is just coping mechanism at this point. She acted on impulse and confessed but was not emotionally ready for rejection. For someone who has been so emotionally disconnected, all the feelings of frustration, regret, sadness, and hurt hitting her all at once is probably too much for her brain to process, so she regresses back to the only coping mechanism she ever knows: rationalizing and denying her feelings (lying to herself, as always).

Imo, this development with the both of them is to show how fragile and tough change can be. They both have just come out of their old shells recently with Touko realizing it's ok to be herself and Yuu coming to terms with her love for Touko, but these changes haven't been set in stone yet. Old doubts and insecurities are just right behind them, so it's easy to revert back to them when things go wrong, which they did. It is a necessary development for both to help them come to a better understanding of themselves and their feelings so a foundation can be built for a healthier relationship. They'll get there, eventually.

Side issue #2: That panel on page 7 is Yuu’s memory of Akari crying, and her realization that she herself isn’t crying, correct?

Yes.

I read the “Yuu is no longer special to me” line not as saying “I don’t need or care about Yuu anymore,” but as “I’ve realized that I’m no longer so emotionally fucked up as to believe that only one person in the universe will accept me as I really am.” So Touko still has a bunch of stuff to straighten out in her own head before there can be a happy romantic ending, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see it taking more than a chapter or two to work itself out.

Thats exactly how i read it too. Touko herself says that she now sees that she doesn't belong to only one specific place anymore, so her saying that "Yuu isn't special to her anymore" doesn't mean that she no longer cares about Yuu. I mean, in the very next page she says she misses her so i don't know why anyone would freak out.

Side issue #1: Touko didn’t “try to talk to Yuu”—she created the opportunity for a talk, but then realized she had nothing to say that could fix things (at the moment).

True and I kind of realized that after I made the post, so thank you for your thought as well. I also came to see a possibility where part of why Touko followed was a bit out of habit and I doubt she ever expected that Yuu would essentially send her away. Rough time for both most certainly.

I do think Touko could have clarified her apology so I don't think she has nothing she could have said. And opening up the opportunity to talk is a big step too. Though the timing may have been a bit off.

My question right now is whether Sayaka will help Touko or use this troubled time as an opportunity for herself? I like Sayaka and like to think she wouldn't, but some of her prior comments earlier in the manga are a little concerning.

last edited at Sep 30, 2018 3:08PM

My question right now is whether Sayaka will help Touko or use this troubled time as an opportunity for herself? I like Sayaka and like to think she wouldn't, but some of her prior comments earlier in the manga are a little concerning.

I don't think she would do something like that, besides, this isn't a story where tropes like that happen. I think that Sayaka would be reluctant to help at first, but the lady that works at the coffee shop might tell her that even if she likes her, she has to help her friend out, even if it means she would push her to someone else. Or maybe she just helps her out, but i do think Sayaka would get involved in this whole thing one way or another. We need to see the resolution to her one-sided feelings after all.

Yuu has always been a very straightforward person, and although it takes a long time for her to make a decision, she sticks with the consequences of that decision once she’s made it. So, as a kind of very non-romantic parallel, for Yuu it’s as if she’s tried out for a sports team and didn’t make the cut, and now it hurts, but that’s that.

Let's elaborate on Yuu a bit, cuz that kinda sells her emotional state short.

Good catch—I should have made it clearer that what I was describing in that sports parallel is Yuu’s present take on her own emotional state, which certainly does involve a good bit of reversion to her earlier attitudes about love.

Your take on Yuu describes the difference between the two that I was getting at pretty well, though. Emotionally, Yuu has run right into a wall and is lying there stunned and hurt, while Touko has a lot of new experiences to process and a bunch of half-formed and contradictory impulses flying around in her head.

That difference is reflected in their contrasting treatments of the charms at the end—Yuu sticks hers in her “memories” drawer and says, “Whatever;” Touko holds hers to her lips while she struggles with the contradiction between Yuu no longer being “special” and missing her.

Pro heartbreak tip: saying “Whatever” is not an effective method of achieving emotional closure.

My question right now is whether Sayaka will help Touko or use this troubled time as an opportunity for herself? I like Sayaka and like to think she wouldn't, but some of her prior comments earlier in the manga are a little concerning.

I don't think she would do something like that, besides, this isn't a story where tropes like that happen. I think that Sayaka would be reluctant to help at first, but the lady that works at the coffee shop might tell her that even if she likes her, she has to help her friend out, even if it means she would push her to someone else. Or maybe she just helps her out, but i do think Sayaka would get involved in this whole thing one way or another. We need to see the resolution to her one-sided feelings after all.

Yeah, Sayaka has developed quite a bit since the comments I recall, and she even spoke to Yuu frankly and fairly about her feelings for Touko later. Yuu and Sayaka aren't exactly in competition either as would be in other manga. And very true.

I wasn't thinking of callous being part of Sayaka's possible attempt exclusively though.

BABY DON'T HURT ME

Yeah, Sayaka has developed quite a bit since the comments I recall, and she even spoke to Yuu frankly and fairly about her feelings for Touko later. Yuu and Sayaka aren't exactly in competition either as would be in other manga. And very true.

I wasn't thinking of callous being part of Sayaka's possible attempt exclusively though.

I wouldn't completely rule out Sayaka trying to make a move on Touko, but her being Touko's best friend would probably led to her giving up on trying something once she realizes Touko's in love.

GIMME

(finished reading) MY POOR BABIES NUUUU

last edited at Sep 30, 2018 5:08PM

After reading the chapter again, i realized that in this page both of them are showing how each of them are dealing with their feelings through the straps. Touko is trying to put the feelings she has for Yuu away, but ultimately can't and even seems to want to act upon them. Yuu is frustrated with her own feelings so she locks them away, maybe expecting them to just dissapear eventually. I'm pretty dumb and i just thought there wasn't any meaning behind it other than the straps reminds them of each other.

This all stuff hurt me but I hope they'll gat a room and do what they should do in the end.

ಠ_ಠ

It really annoys the crap out of me when all somebody can think about with regards to romance is "are they gonna fuck already?" Like put it back in your pants for two goddamn seconds.

True and I kind of realized that after I made the post, so thank you for your thought as well. I also came to see a possibility where part of why Touko followed was a bit out of habit and I doubt she ever expected that Yuu would essentially send her away. Rough time for both most certainly.

I do think Touko could have clarified her apology so I don't think she has nothing she could have said. And opening up the opportunity to talk is a big step too. Though the timing may have been a bit off.

Eh, the thing is she isn't ready to return her feelings, either, and she doesn't know if she ever will. So imagine she does just what you're saying. "Hey, when I said I'm sorry, I didn't mean to reject you, I meant I'm sorry I didn't notice your feelings and made you feel like you had to lie to me. (Yuu's hopes go up) ...but I'm not ready to be with you, so now I'm -actually- rejecting you."

Thing is, Touko doesn't know what she wants to do. And until she decides she wants to be with Yuu anyway, it is honestly better for her to let the misunderstanding stand. There is nothing she can do right now that won't just make it hurt more except to accept her own feelings so they can actually move forward together.

Yeah, Sayaka has developed quite a bit since the comments I recall, and she even spoke to Yuu frankly and fairly about her feelings for Touko later. Yuu and Sayaka aren't exactly in competition either as would be in other manga. And very true.

I wasn't thinking of callous being part of Sayaka's possible attempt exclusively though.

I wouldn't completely rule out Sayaka trying to make a move on Touko, but her being Touko's best friend would probably led to her giving up on trying something once she realizes Touko's in love.

Sayaka might confess in the process of all this for the sake of her own closure, but I can't see her actively getting in the way of Touko and Yuu. Especially if she sees how much this is tearing up Touko.

I think a lot of solid points have already been made. When Touko says Yuu isn't special to her anymore, she means it in the context that she isn't her one sole sanctuary of self-realization. Yuu isn't the only way that Touko can be herself anymore, and so she doesn't know what Yuu is to her now. But she knows she misses her, she knows she wants to be with her. She follows her without thinking, she is entirely preoccupied with thoughts of her. She is definitely still in love with her, but she has never actually understood what that means.

Yuu, in the meantime, is depressed and hurt. She was afraid of rejection, but she got past her fear by reassuring herself that she wouldn't be rejected, not by accepting the consequences that would come if she was. So she doesn't know how to process any of it. She just feels pain and emptiness and sorrow, and above it all, self-recrimination and regret. It is kinda painful how much I relate.

Part of me just wants it to end. The other part is loving this sh*t and just wants more. They couldn't stretch this out too much more, right? It should finish before the end of the year? Yes? Ah hell.

Damn the feels this chapter.
It hit me pretty hard.
Nanami needs to quit being stubborn....and tell her how she truly feels about Yuu.

After reading the chapter again, i realized that in this page both of them are showing how each of them are dealing with their feelings through the straps. Touko is trying to put the feelings she has for Yuu away, but ultimately can't and even seems to want to act upon them. Yuu is frustrated with her own feelings so she locks them away, maybe expecting them to just dissapear eventually. I'm pretty dumb and i just thought there wasn't any meaning behind it other than the straps reminds them of each other.

Except that Yuu has been keeping the strap in that drawer all along. She hadn't felt right using it or putting it on her bag because then she would obviously have a matching item with Touko and people would ask about it.

Touko hasn't stopped loving Yuu you dopes, she's just afraid and still dealing with massive self worth issues and trying to process her feelings for Yuu on top of her recent epiphany.

I think a lot of solid points have already been made. When Touko says Yuu isn't special to her anymore, she means it in the context that she isn't her one sole sanctuary of self-realization. Yuu isn't the only way that Touko can be herself anymore, and so she doesn't know what Yuu is to her now. But she knows she misses her, she knows she wants to be with her. She follows her without thinking, she is entirely preoccupied with thoughts of her. She is definitely still in love with her, but she has never actually understood what that means.

Yuu, in the meantime, is depressed and hurt. She was afraid of rejection, but she got past her fear by reassuring herself that she wouldn't be rejected, not by accepting the consequences that would come if she was. So she doesn't know how to process any of it. She just feels pain and emptiness and sorrow, and above it all, self-recrimination and regret. It is kinda painful how much I relate.

Bless you for your relevance !! I follow you on this.

The pace of Bloom into you is so healthy. Feels, drama, fluff and resolution are all so well balanced.

ಠ_ಠ

It really annoys the crap out of me when all somebody can think about with regards to romance is "are they gonna fuck already?" Like put it back in your pants for two goddamn seconds.

B-but the only reason I follow this series is to see whether they'll fuck in the end or not!

Edit: Not sure if everyone knows, but the anime will be 13 eps (& yes, full length for those who are still worried)

last edited at Sep 30, 2018 7:44PM

What is love?!
Baby don't hurt me
Don't hurt me
No more

Normally I hate this part of dramatic romances. It just feels like a cheap way to stretch out the eventual conclusion. But this hurts way more than I thought it would.

Thing is, Touko doesn't know what she wants to do.

This part is especially hard on Touko because she’s previously been someone who knows exactly what she wants to do—imitate her dead sister, be in love with Yuu, have Yuu be her campaign manager, put on the play, etc. Her main moment of crisis wasn’t about choosing among several different concrete possibilities, but when she couldn’t see what came next—what would happen after the play was performed.

Touko kept control all those years by keeping herself locked down emotionally and stubbornly sticking to the single principle of being “perfect” on the (supposed) model of her sister. Now she’s broken out of her self-imposed constraints, and she’s both more free and more vulnerable than ever.

Yuu, in the meantime, is depressed and hurt. She was afraid of rejection, but she got past her fear by reassuring herself that she wouldn't be rejected, not by accepting the consequences that would come if she was.

Did Yuu really take Touko’s acceptance for granted, though? I thought it was more like she just couldn’t keep going on the way she was. (That “I may be about to do something stupid, but I just don’t have any other choice” feeling was painfully familiar to me.)

last edited at Sep 30, 2018 11:45PM

uuuggghh this chapter hurt ;(