Characters acting out of character, like a smart and mature child all the sudden acting moronic and ignorant. Or invoking tropes in the worst of ways, such as Mamika breaking up over Yuzumori not having friends without actually talking to her about the issue. Or characters getting weirdly specific amnesia and forgetting past events, such as Yuzumori not remembering Ririha confronting her in the bathroom and directly threatening her. Weird that she didn't remember that after Mamika broke up with her after talking with Ririha. You'd think she would be a little curious as to what Ririha told her.

Emotions tend to fuck with your rationality. Like how you should normally know that you shouldn't respond to trolls but d'ooooh you're just so gosh darn mad at what they said that you just have to respond. And it's not until you've finally come down from that emotional high that you realise what an idiot you've been.
Yuzumori's a relatively smart kid, but she's so emotionally attached to Mimika that the destruction of that attachment, even when it's so obvious from an outside perspective, is devastating for her. And Mimika's a dumb lolicon who's paranoid over so many things, mainly crossing a legal boundary, that she's easily manipulated by her emotions.

If you are going to whisk away shitty writing with something as vague as "selfishness" then that's your own prerogative.

Hi, can you please expound on why do you consider this a "shitty writing"? I'm genuinely curious.

I think is still early to call this "shitty writing". I know my whiny comment kinda started this discussion, but still... We don't know yet the real cause of why Yuzumori left the group. Who knows... maybe could be something that no one thought about. I still gonna read this till the end.

Emotions tend to fuck with your rationality. Like how you should normally know that you shouldn't respond to trolls but d'ooooh you're just so gosh darn mad at what they said that you just have to respond. And it's not until you've finally come down from that emotional high that you realise what an idiot you've been.
Yuzumori's a relatively smart kid, but she's so emotionally attached to Mimika that the destruction of that attachment, even when it's so obvious from an outside perspective, is devastating for her. And Mimika's a dumb lolicon who's paranoid over so many things, mainly crossing a legal boundary, that she's easily manipulated by her emotions.

That's just such a cop out. If you can explain character stupidity with "emotions" then Prometheus would be lauded as a masterpiece. Smart characters acting moronic for convenient drama creation is just cringe inducing. Especially here, these are not split decisions in the heat of the moment. These are thought out conclusions where the characters just completely blanked on recent past events that would have shown them how stupid they are acting.

Mamika had this dumb idea in her head for half a day and she never thought about asking Yuzumori why she didn't hang out with her friends. Worse is that she thinks that just because they broke up that Yuzumori would just go back to hanging out with her friends. Also, why should Yuzumori hang out with her friends over her girlfriend if she doesnt want to? And worse, she lies about why she is breaking up, because telling the truth would have sounded dumb.

Yuzumori accepted the break up initially, which can be understandable, but here we have her crying in the rain because she totally forgot about the girl who threatened her was hanging out with her exgirlfriend right before. Not once did she think about how Ririha might have manipulated Mamika. She has completely forgotten that Ririha was there.

Now with the new raws we have Ririha planning out this whole thing for apparently no reason. She secretly likes Yuzumori but completely forgot about the whole being nice to her to swoop in to take Mamikas place. Turns out she is just being a huge bitch to the girl she like's because reasons. She even takes an extra step by telling Yuzu she is going to ruin her life because that's totally what a mature child would do. This takes place over weeks, she didn't just come up with it on the fly.

If you are going to whisk away shitty writing with something as vague as "selfishness" then that's your own prerogative.

Hi, can you please expound on why do you consider this a "shitty writing"? I'm genuinely curious.

Characters acting out of character, like a smart and mature child all the sudden acting moronic and ignorant. Or invoking tropes in the worst of ways, such as Mamika breaking up over Yuzumori not having friends without actually talking to her about the issue. Or characters getting weirdly specific amnesia and forgetting past events, such as Yuzumori not remembering Ririha confronting her in the bathroom and directly threatening her. Weird that she didn't remember that after Mamika broke up with her after talking with Ririha. You'd think she would be a little curious as to what Ririha told her.

But no, let's just forget all that because typical melodrama beats out an interesting almost-realistic look at a lolicon and her gay relationship.

Okay, I see you but, as Komugi pointed out, it's early to be calling this a "shitty writing".

Being this an on-going story, stating that Yuzumori is acting OOC when we don't know to what degree and in what direction her character will evolve yet, not until we reach the very end of the manga at least, is a discourse that can only be applied to fanfictions, not to original works.
That being said, look at the bigger picture, or the one we know so far. Fourteen chapters in we've assumed this is the story of a teenager dealing with her feelings for her "light of my life, fire of my loins": we get to know Mimika, we get to see what her thoughts are, we catch glimpses of her life with Yuzumori. Then, when Mimika leaves for her school trip, we are left with Yuzumori. The change of pov itself should make us suspicious that this isn't just the story of a girl in love with a younger girl.
We follow Yuzumori for a chapter and, in the same manner we've learned that Mimika has Shiori in her life, we see that somebody else is crossing theirs with Yuzumori's. Ririha is introduced just like that, as somebody who passes by and holds a "grudge" toward our "main character".
Next chapter, we're back on the couple going through their daily life, but we're aware now that somebody else might have their own story to tell. At this point, take a look at our protagonists: they've reached a dead end. They've grown closer (true), Mimika's kinda tamed her urges, Yuzumori looks for physical contact, but none of them is doing anything to start another chapter in their life (Yuzumori doesn't seem to be aware of the nature of her feelings, she just wants to be with Mimika while Mimika's fine with how things are). Basically, what started as a story where us readers' many goal was to see if the two of them would end up together and how they would cope with their age difference has evolved into something different. Once Mimika's feelings are accepted by Yuzumori and that "first step" of their journey is behind them, they just do stuff. There's no real progression. Not until somebody set things in motion again. Ririha does just that (if we focus on Yuzumori and Mimika's relationship). Yet, characters don't only exist in function of main characters: they have their own story to tell too, a purpose. If Ririha was just a flat character, then that would be "bad writing", and it would damage the story more than any trope. Sure, what drives Ririha isn't clear NOW, but it's useless to say that it will, as we will get all the answers we want on Yuzumori's past (for example).

I like having the chance - despite it comes with big frustration - of guessing what's going on with everyone and how the characters' different storylines are connected, but I'd never call it "bad writing" just because something looks "off" in an on-going story.

That's just such a cop out. If you can explain character stupidity with "emotions" then Prometheus would be lauded as a masterpiece. Smart characters acting moronic for convenient drama creation is just cringe inducing. Especially here, these are not split decisions in the heat of the moment. These are thought out conclusions where the characters just completely blanked on recent past events that would have shown them how stupid they are acting.

Cannibal, don't read the story with your filter, your knowledge and lack of it - and by that I mean the scarce information we all of have (on Ririha's reasons, ie). If you do that, you'll see that it's not as simple as you put it. Even Yuzumori stated that she would not be concerned with Ririha's threat (ch.19). From what we know, Yuzumori said she hasn't been thinking about Mimika, which was kinda to be expected considering her past. When she left Mimika's house, she was heartbroken but showed none of her feelings. Instead, she concluded "reasonably" (aka since-I-went-through-this-in-my-past) that it was to be expected. I understand that some things may have no sense whatsoever if I think of what I know, but what do the characters know? And in what measure their feelings influence their reason? In what measure my feelings influence mine? (...that's deep!)

Okay, I see you but, as Komugi pointed out, it's early to be calling this a "shitty writing".

No, it's not. Mamika's and Yuzumori actions have shown that it has jump the shark on shitty writing. The moment the author decided to go the cliche route of adding in Ririha to start trouble instead of further exploring the original themes is the moment is became a shit show.

Being this an on-going story, stating that Yuzumori is acting OOC when we don't know to what degree and in what direction her character will evolve yet, not until we reach the very end of the manga at least, is a discourse that can only be applied to fanfictions, not to original works.

A complete load of bull, we know this character. We have been inside her head plenty of times. This makes no sense how she completely forgot about Ririha directly threatening her in the bathroom.

That being said, look at the bigger picture, or the one we know so far. Fourteen chapters in we've assumed this is the story of a teenager dealing with her feelings for her "light of my life, fire of my loins": we get to know Mimika, we get to see what her thoughts are, we catch glimpses of her life with Yuzumori. Then, when Mimika leaves for her school trip, we are left with Yuzumori. The change of pov itself should make us suspicious that this isn't just the story of a girl in love with a younger girl.

No, apparently it's a story of a school bully and a moronic high school girl that can't think for herself.

We follow Yuzumori for a chapter and, in the same manner we've learned that Mimika has Shiori in her life, we see that somebody else is crossing theirs with Yuzumori's. Ririha is introduced just like that, as somebody who passes by and holds a "grudge" toward our "main character".
Next chapter, we're back on the couple going through their daily life, but we're aware now that somebody else might have their own story to tell. At this point, take a look at our protagonists: they've reached a dead end. They've grown closer (true), Mimika's kinda tamed her urges, Yuzumori looks for physical contact, but none of them is doing anything to start another chapter in their life (Yuzumori doesn't seem to be aware of the nature of her feelings, she just wants to be with Mimika while Mimika's fine with how things are). Basically, what started as a story where us readers' many goal was to see if the two of them would end up together and how they would cope with their age difference has evolved into something different.

That's the problem. The author couldn't come up with something for the two to do with each other to move on. This is why Kase-san is so good, the characters progress together and alone. They don't need love triangles or bullies or both to progress their relationship. Instead Yuzumori-san took the easy and cliche route of adding in a third person to stir the pot. In its wake the characters all the sudden act like morons who can't string two thoughts together. They become ignorant of the events that lead up to the present. And why? Because melodrama.

Once Mimika's feelings are accepted by Yuzumori and that "first step" of their journey is behind them, they just do stuff. There's no real progression. Not until somebody set things in motion again. Ririha does just that (if we focus on Yuzumori and Mimika's relationship). Yet, characters don't only exist in function of main characters: they have their own story to tell too, a purpose. If Ririha was just a flat character, then that would be "bad writing", and it would damage the story more than any trope. Sure, what drives Ririha isn't clear NOW, but it's useless to say that it will, as we will get all the answers we want on Yuzumori's past (for example).

The only thing that drives Ririha is the melodrama engine. The author couldn't come up with anything to fit the themes that we have seen so far and instead chooses to go cliche, add in a villain that is both smart enough to trick our protagonists with ease but too stupid enough to realize why she is doing it. The latest raws are just icing on the cake of how ridiculous this is getting. Ririha was a mistake that can't be taken back.

I like having the chance - despite it comes with big frustration - of guessing what's going on with everyone and how the characters' different storylines are connected, but I'd never call it "bad writing" just because something looks "off" in an on-going story.

All you can expect is nonsense, it's hard to predict what is going to happen when the author just throws in random shit to spice things up. We saw from the three previews the story that the author wanted to tell and after it was told she wanted to continue it but didn't know how. This is the result of an author not knowing when to stop.

Instead, she concluded "reasonably" (aka since-I-went-through-this-in-my-past) that it was to be expected. I understand that some things may have no sense whatsoever if I think of what I know, but what do the characters know? And in what measure their feelings influence their reason? In what measure my feelings influence mine? (...that's deep!)

As deep as a puddle. We know that Yuzumori knows that Ririha threatened to take everything she holds dear away from her. She also knows that her girlfriend spent half a day with the person who threatened her. She knows that Ririha told Mamika that her and Yuzumori were such great friends. She knows these lies and yet all she has to say is "let's not talk about it". Like, really? These are not fan theories, these are things we know that are facts and they don't add up. Instead the characters yell nonsense and cry, because that's the point of melodrama. It forgoes logic and reasoning for pure emotional trauma no matter how stupid and random the twists and turns are.

last edited at Nov 29, 2017 11:59AM

No, it's not. Mamika's and Yuzumori actions have shown that it has jump the shark on shitty writing. The moment the author decided to go the cliche route of adding in Ririha to start trouble instead of further exploring the original themes is the moment is became a shit show.

The point is that, we've just assumed that this was going to be an ane-loli story and that was it, that the groundbreaking theme would be having a little girl ending up with the older girl "without major drama", or in a very soft dramatic way, with little troubles every now and then and a general light-hearted feeling.

As deep as a puddle. We know that Yuzumori knows that Ririha threatened to take everything she holds dear away from her.

We readers associate that to Mimika. Does Yuzumori know that Mimika is her "dearest" thing? She never thought explicitly of Mimika in that way, she doesn't know what to think of her feelings yet, just that they scare her.

She knows that Ririha told Mamika that her and Yuzumori were such great friends.

Where Mimika tells Yuzumori that Ririha told her they're good friends? Mimika doesn't mention anything of what Ririha said. She just uses the new insight provided by Ririha's story as she speak to Yuzumori. On the other side, look at the scene before Mimika's eyes: three girls playing together. Her first thought is that it feels natural for them to be like that. Yuzumori is at fault here too, because she gets along with Isuzu and Ririha, sending a very specific message to Mimika, "they are my friends" (but, to a reader, she may be doing that because she doesn't want to make a fuss out of Ririha's and Isuzu presence there, not when they are still there). If Mimika had just mentioned Ririha's name when she told her that she should spend more time with her friends, then Yuzumori would have seen through Ririha's lies. But Mimika doesn't, so Yuzumori doesn't know.

She knows these lies and yet says nothing.

She doesn't know + bad heartbreaking + feeling humiliated = she leaves.

It's true that sometimes authors are forced to change the course of a story for different reasons, but I wouldn't accuse Ejima Eri of not knowing what she's doing with her characters.

The only thing that I feel like criticizing is that Mimika could've come up with something like, "since I want you to have the childhood any child should have, what about you spend some time with your friends and then some with me?" As a matter of fact, Mimika thinks that things could've gone differently the following chapter, "but it's too late". It looks like a safe escape from any accusation readers could've moved against the author about the break-up. But I don't mind really.

last edited at Nov 29, 2017 1:09PM

Ririha what the hell are you doing ?!
http://yawaspi.com/yuzumori/comic/035_001.html raw

The point is that, we've just assumed that this was going to be an ane-loli story and that was it, that the groundbreaking theme would be having a little girl ending up with the older girl "without major drama", or in a very soft dramatic way, with little troubles every now and then and a general light-hearted feeling.

What are you talking about? We always knew there was going to be drama with Mamika accepting herself as a lolicon. What we didn't know is that the author would run out of ideas quickly and start some love triangle garbage to pad out the series.

We readers associate that to Mimika. Does Yuzumori know that Mimika is her "dearest" thing? She never thought explicitly of Mimika in that way, she doesn't know what to think of her feelings yet, just that they scare her.

What are you talking about? Yuzumori is the one that confessed and cried over the possibility that Mimika didn't like her. Yuzumori is also disappointed that Mimika won't do anything physical until she is older. She knows exactly what her feelings are.

Where Mimika tells Yuzumori that Ririha told her they're good friends?

"Still, this is the first time I have met any of your friends." and "You should have really let me know... that you had such great friends." Hmm, why would Mimika think that Ririha and Yuzumori were such great friends if Yuzumori didn't tell her herself? Man, if only there had literally just been two other characters hanging out right just before...

If Mimika had just mentioned Ririha's name when she told her that she should spend more time with her friends, then Yuzumori would have seen through Ririha's lies. But Mimika doesn't, so Yuzumori doesn't know.

She directly references Ririha, your insight makes no sense.

She doesn't know + bad heartbreaking + feeling humiliated = she leaves.

She does know, she doesn't say anything other that "no more talking about school" before they break up, and is only feeling humiliated because the author doesn't know how to write for shit.

It's true that sometimes authors are forced to change the course of a story for different reasons, but I wouldn't accuse Ejima Eri of not knowing what she's doing with her characters.

I would and that's exactly what I'm doing. It's actually common for creators to ruin their characters, especially when they try to pad out a series longer than it should be in order to sell more volumes/books.

The only thing that I feel like criticizing is that Mimika could've come up with something like, "since I want you to have the childhood any child should have, what about you spend some time with your friends and then some with me?" As a matter of fact, Mimika thinks that things could've gone differently the following chapter, "but it's too late". It looks like a safe escape from any accusation readers could've moved against the author about the break-up. But I don't mind really.

Must not have been a good one since I'm doing just that. And the "it's too late now" is just another shitty writing cop out that is proven wrong in the very next chapter.

last edited at Dec 10, 2017 12:24PM

What are you talking about?

This feels like we're sitting at the same table after previously agreeing that we would be playing a card game, but we both show up with different decks (ie, Uno and French playing cards). You play your game with the deck you have and your own logic, I do the same with mine, but it's fruitless to keep it going because there's no match so peace and, have a nice day!

Will chapter 27 be uploaded here?

Will chapter 27 be uploaded here?

When it's ready, yes. Don't be impatient.

When it's ready, yes. Don't be impatient.

I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to be. I just don’t know how the whole translating thing or the website works yet

When it's ready, yes. Don't be impatient.

I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to be. I just don’t know how the whole translating thing or the website works yet

Yuzumori-san chapters tend to be finished pretty quickly, but the people doing it are all volunteers with lives of their own. So while they do tend to have a rep for pulling off some pretty impressive turnaround times, it's only right to give them as much slack as they need. I doubt it'll be very long anyway.

What are you talking about?

This feels like we're sitting at the same table after previously agreeing that we would be playing a card game, but we both show up with different decks (ie, Uno and French playing cards). You play your game with the deck you have and your own logic, I do the same with mine, but it's fruitless to keep it going because there's no match so peace and, have a nice day!

It's more like we are arguing over what is happening in a manga but for some reason you are making up stuff out of thin air. You make statements that are completely contradictory to what actually happened. You say that Yuzumori doesn't know that Ririha told Mimika that they are friends but Mimika clearly says just that. That's why I asked "what are you talking about?" because what you said made no sense with the quotes that I cited.

You say that Yuzumori doesn't know that Ririha told Mimika that they are friends.

That's what I said. Period. Meaning that there's no statement from Mimika that's anyway close to her telling Yuzumori "Ririha told me you're friends". What you quote, "this is the first time that I met your friends" and "you should've let me know that you have such good friends" are the words of a girl (Mimika) who speaks without directly mentioning that she and Ririha ever discussed about anything involving friendship. Instead, those are the words of a girl (always Mimika) who's been listening to a broken-hearted somebody telling her their own version of a story, assuming that said version is true and watching three girl "friends" playing together. Mimika never once doubts Ririha's words, and the fact that Yuzumori gets along with Isuzu and Ririha is as good as any evidence that what Ririha told her before Yuzumori's arrival is true. They are friends. That's what Mimika accepts as true, that's her new insight on Yuzumori's relationship with the two guests.

You say that Yuzumori doesn't know that Ririha told Mimika that they're friends but Mimika clearly says that.

Mimika says that Yuzumori has friends, yes, but she doesn't say that Ririha told her that. What I said is that there's no trace of Ririha's name, no hint to them ever talking, no mentioning to the fact that it was Ririha who told Mimika that Yuzumori has friends in chapter 23. Yuzumori never gets to hear Ririha's name out of Mimika's lips, she doesn't know that Mimika and Ririha ever "talked". That's what I said. I never said that Mimika doesn't tell Yuzumori that she and Ririha aren't friends - that's rather explicit in what you quoted and it'd be hard for anybody to miss it - but Mimika never mentions her little chat with Ririha which is the main reason behind her statement "such great friends", aka "friends that care about you and want to be with you while I'm taking you away from your childhood".

Ririha what the hell are you doing ?!
http://yawaspi.com/yuzumori/comic/035_001.html raw

https://pastebin.com/B2EcsSa3

Translation of the new chapter!

last edited at Dec 11, 2017 9:04AM

I just read the chapter... I think in the next chapter we will have the answers.

komugi posted:

I just read the chapter... I think in the next chapter we will have the answers.

So far things are working better than expected, but I'm ready to see Mimika again. Thanks for the link

last edited at Dec 11, 2017 9:24AM

Ririha what the hell are you doing ?!
http://yawaspi.com/yuzumori/comic/035_001.html raw

https://pastebin.com/B2EcsSa3

Translation of the new chapter!

komugi posted:

I just read the chapter... I think in the next chapter we will have the answers.

So far things are working better than expected, but I'm ready to see Mimika again. Thanks for the link

Don't mention it. ^^

Ririha what the hell are you doing ?!
http://yawaspi.com/yuzumori/comic/035_001.html raw

https://pastebin.com/B2EcsSa3

Translation of the new chapter!

Loved it XD

Well, that crisis was resolved quickly.

Still not knowing where this manga wants to go.

Well, that crisis was resolved quickly.

Still not knowing where this manga wants to go.

Resolved? Where? She didn't explain her motives yet.

komugi posted:

Well, that crisis was resolved quickly.

Still not knowing where this manga wants to go.

Resolved? Where? She didn't explain her motives yet.

Well, the "misunderstanding" between Kaede and Mimika is lifted. So it's just a matter of a lot of explaining and reconciliation and yadda, yadda, yadda...

I don't think the author is going to insist on the Ririha/Kaede feud. They will probably all start to hang out at Mimika's place in a sort of truce. Happy End.