It's a generalized statement, sure, but I don't see why it's wrong and cruel. Unless you're saying that it's ok for people to not love themselves? It's not that they can't have meaningful relationships, it just means that it's harder for them to open up completely because of insecurities. Love doesn't always have to mean romantic love, it just stands for relationships in general.
It's not a matter of being ok or not if you can't help it, is it? It's wrong to say this kind of stuff because it's not really true, you're completely capable of loving someone, opening up to them and trusting them even if you can't love yourself. This and that are different things. And it's cruel because if the person believes you, they may think it's pointless to seek support in an intimate relationship because of that inability to love themselves, which may actually make things worse :(
This is just one case, but if it serves as an example, I dated a boy in the past who had a couple of traumas and was suicidal. He often said he was unable to love himself. Yet from the very moment I met him, I felt that he trusted me and I that could trust him. We opened up to each other and we've spoken extensively about these things. I'm very sad that I wasn't able to really help but I've never felt anything other than loved when I was with him.
This brings to mind the phrase "no one will love you if you can't love yourself". I hear that often from friends and family and I really used to believe it until someone mentioned how cruel it is to basically say a person's unworthy of love due to their personal struggles.
But I'm not a psychiatrist yet (will be in a few years ♡), I don't have any arguments or examples to back me up on this, I'm just speaking from personal experience, and I understand if you disagree.
last edited at Mar 5, 2017 7:24AM