Well, that was simple and straightforward. It's not confusing. On the contrary, it's quite predictable from the moment she said that she tried the bridge thing once.

Yes, it's true that the story is rather straightforward and predictable. From the artwork I also understand what's going on; there are much more artistically confusing works out there.
But it still is very poorly constructed: Changing settings and time in the middle of the page, scenes starting or ending in medias res or drasticly changing mood, all without or with very little indication.
Sure, there are stories or authors who use these techniques for great storytelling but unlike with, let's say, Shimura Takako, it doesn't seem that was the style Canno was going for.

Compare it to watching a well thought out fighting choreography in one movie and a sloppily cut fight in another. Sure, even with half a brain one recognises what who's moving in the room, who's punching who and where the weapons fall. But it just doesn't "flow" well.

At least that's what I thought of this manga. Opinions differ.

I think some, if not most of us agree that Canno's art is nice but the writing is bad

Aw, it's not that bad. It's a one shot, so that story is quickly wrapped up. For once, osananajimi wins.

I've read worse.

I see that a lot of you agree with how the art is really good and the writing not so much. This is fact. This one shot and the past two chapters recently released, scare me. This author really needs to step it up with the writing cause it'd really suck if they made their other work start being shitty. I hope for better writing.

It's not only the one-shots. AnoKiss series have the same problem with writing and the pacing.

I certainly wouldn't say the writing in the first two chapters of this Anthology sucked. It was a unpleasant subject matter, but that doesn't mean it's bad in any way. It's like saying Sophie's Choice was badly written.

AnoKiss series have the same problem with writing and the pacing.

Meh, nah.

last edited at Jun 11, 2016 5:38PM

Spoilers about the next two chapters (not a summary of the content, but here's what it'll entail):

New character is introduced. Not about Sayo and Umesawa. Closure for Satake.

I understand stories won't all have happy endings or have happy vibes throughout the whole story but the writing for those first two that came out with the sadist and machsochist just made me think wow this is stupid throughout the whole thing. Like what a waste. I guess maybe it's my fault since I'm not into the Whole BDSM(?) genre. Oh well, maybe next time.

This feels like one of those stories where the author had this deep, powerful scene envisioned but for me, the reader, it just comes off as confusing and lacking oomph.

I 100% agree. Story doesn't seem to be very good from my perspective.

Dat death stare.

Spoilers about the next two chapters (not a summary of the content, but here's what it'll entail):

New character is introduced. Not about Sayo and Umesawa. Closure for Satake.

I just hope she doesn't have to go through the same thing a second time. There's only so much shit a person can take

Well, that was simple and straightforward. It's not confusing. On the contrary, it's quite predictable from the moment she said that she tried the bridge thing once.

Yeah, the moment the other girl started wondering who with I was thinking "With you, you idiot!"
Still, I agree that the execution could have been better.

last edited at Jun 12, 2016 4:55PM

There's a missing page, just sayin'…

http://bato.to/reader#685afca04ba203dd_25

…But yeah, that's the chapter I liked the least in the anthology, I think. It probably would have needed to be longer, because the developments were too abrupt. :\

"Oh hey, Satake likes you and you're gonna cross the bridge? Then I guess we can't be together anymore." Like, wow there, isn't that a bit fast?

Still, Canno likes her slightly creepy lines/shots, doesn't she…

last edited at Jun 13, 2016 7:03PM

Satake? More like Sa-take these fucking feelings away from me

boiiiii can you not make me choke on my cereal

There's a missing page, just sayin'…

http://bato.to/reader#685afca04ba203dd_25

that page helped a little, but story still needs to be a bit longer.

…But yeah, that's the chapter I liked the least in the anthology, I think. It probably would have needed to be longer, because the developments were too abrupt. :\

agreed. you just cannot cram that much drama into 30p. and have it make a whole lotta sense.

"Oh hey, Satake likes you and you're gonna cross the bridge? Then I guess we can't be together anymore." Like, wow there, isn't that a bit fast?

Still, Canno likes her slightly creepy lines/shots, doesn't she…

lol. creepy? to me that line in particular read more like she was giving up and running away from her feelings, but i suppose it's how you read it. i kinda hope the stories involving Satake add more color the this Umi/Sayo story or at least lets the reader know if those two go beyond being a bickering old couple.

Ah, no, by slightly creepy, I was refering to the last line ("give me a little more of your freedom" with the somber look). Canno likes to do that, even in AnoKiss (hello, Towako!)

It's not only the one-shots. AnoKiss series have the same problem with writing and the pacing.

Nah.
Tbh I'd say that the plot summary, describing the series as having one couple as the main lead and focus, built and ruined expectations, frustrating readers. For what it is tho, I enjoyed each couple and arc. It has great romantic buildups. Perhaps I dont remember it that well cus it has been some time since my first read, but the most recent chapters are killing me tbh; girls blushing and smiling so brightly are the death of me

Still, Canno likes her slightly creepy lines/shots, doesn't she…

Speaking of creepy I just remembered this scene
Like I forgot about it kinda easily because Kurosawa then proceeded to bite, lick and kiss her neck which is kinda really surprising (and kinky) and just as sudden as the first gesture, and the low key lewdness of it kinda distracted me tbh

last edited at Jun 21, 2016 3:25PM

Spoilers about the next two chapters (not a summary of the content, but here's what it'll entail):

New character is introduced. Not about Sayo and Umesawa. Closure for Satake.

There was no real closure though. Satake remains oblivious to the new girl's feelings and keeps simping for Umi.