I thought it was cute. Sometimes people and/or situations are just like that. Sure it would've been nice to have more build-up, but in this land of Moe up the butt
, you tell a girl your feelings directly! Consequences be damned.
It's downright depraved! God as my witness, they skipped right to holding hands
Can too much moe poison you? I think it did me.
Just remember; if you feel the need to vomit, it's just your system's natural defenses kicking in.
I've not had much experience with long-form translation in quite a while, and then I wanted to keep the 'children's book' feel to the language as well...
I think it was faithful to that storybook tone. I didn't think about it before, but I'm guessing it can be hard to pick the right wording and punctuation for translations of simple (linguistically speaking) stories.
It runs the risk of sounding flat and mechanical if it's too direct, or sounding too complex if one lapses into more conventional, more "adult" language.
In this case, it sounded sufficiently "all ages."