^
No, that's a great way to pull together what I was trying to get at. And I don't think your citation is cheesy at all--that's what the whole story has been pointing toward, and makes me think that things will turn out a lot more happily than we've been fearing.

After all, although we've been privy to Touko's darkest moments, looking at the series as a whole, when she's not being "perfect Touko" for the public, we (along with only Yuu) have mostly seen her being cute, vulnerable, and affectionate.

(Touko's squee in reaction to the picture sent by Yuu's sister is right up there among my favorite scenes in the series.)

Assuming the translation is accurate, I'm grasping onto the blurb on the last page, since it only says Touko's mind is clouded with "doubt" and not despair.

I went to check on raw again. So the text in Japanese is "Touko no kokoro ni kage ga..." which literally translates into "In Touko's heart/mind, a shadow is..." I'm no Japanese expert, so if someone can provide a better explanation, please do, but the word shadow is less as specific as either doubt or despair.

I think Yuu currently is the only person who could be a catalyst for Touko. She and anything related to Mio are the only people who have been shown to have any effect on her. But I worry about what something like Yuu breaking down would show. Touko's commandment to not fall in love with her still stands, not to mention it was made explicit Yuu came up with the revised play.

I see Touko's commandment in ch 22 as her own way of trying to hold onto the status quo or whatever is left of it. The question is whether what she says and what she truly wants/feels are even in line with one another anymore. That's the one thing about this manga though, it's been using unreliable narration since the very beginning. So we won't know for sure if Yuu breaking down will actually be met with the same attitude as back in ch 10 or not. & as you have pointed out, Yuu has been slightly more successful in her attempts to reason with Touko (God, the patience that this takes), so this supposed third confrontation shouldn't turn out as much of a hot mess or so we hope.

In my experience, people look to death when the path they see ahead of them seems unbearable and, more importantly, unchanging, even though that's often not true. If Touko blooming into Mio was her starting trajectory, then I believe enough has changed, enough has happened to her through the course of the "play" for her to make a new decision. Like I already said before, I cannot see a satisfying ending where Touko does not change, for the exact same reason Yuu gave for why Koyomi's original script didn't feel right. It could also be said stories don't have to be satisfying, but well, that's going to be a hard sell to turn out brilliant work for years just so it can crash at the very end.

Oh no, I totally agree that a suicide ending is not a good ending for this manga for the same reasons & I highly doubt that it will happen. I said before if there's anything the title of this series promises, it is that Touko will be able to find who she is. I was trying to explain my reasoning as to why I think Touko is becoming suicidal for real & that we might possibly even get explicit suicide attempt, rather than proving how this series is gonna end on Touko's death. Sorry if it wasn't clear.

I know right, they've already made a PV and the voice actors were pretty good. Citrus got an anime adaptation for goodness sake, and that has so much less complexity and so much more melodrama compared to Yagate Kimi ni Naru. Well on the other hand maybe that's what other people like. XD To each their own.

Citrus is a popular series & Yuri Hime needs something to promote the new magazine, so it's not surprising that it got an adaptation. But luckily, YagaKimi is the most popular yuri romance in Japan right now (how much I love the fact that quality translates into popularity for once) & Dengeki folks love promoting it, so we can dream.

Not to get anyone's hope up, but Dengeki's 25th anniversary campaign (where they have done several announcements for some of the series they own) is ending on Jan 27, 2018, which is when vol 5 is gonna be released. What better way to end this campaign than to announce a YagaKimi anime? :v

Edit:

(Touko's squee in reaction to the picture sent by Yuu's sister is right up there among my favorite scenes in the series.)

Saaame. When we will get these sorts of scenes again? ;_;

last edited at Oct 1, 2017 4:26PM

Citrus is good for what it is, but it doesn't have as much depth as Bloom Into You has. Furthermore, BIY's drama is always internal that affects the people around them as opposed to Citrus' "rival, one-off love interest of the week" and "Mei's acting distant again."

It warms my heart to not see pure hatred for Citrus for once! Although, it hasn't been that kind of stories since (the end of) vol4. Sorry, I couldn't help but step up a bit!

That said, I'd love to see this one adapted into an anime too. One can't have enough Yuri in their life.

last edited at Oct 2, 2017 6:43AM

When was the second time Yuu confronted Touko? You mean chapter 22? Because that didn't seem like a confrontation to tell her she's fine being herself, it was more about Yuu trying to get her to rely on her and comfort her. Then when Yuu actually tried to say something related to Touko's problem the latter just gave her a shut up kiss, so did I miss something? I only remember chapter 10 as the only real time Yuu tried to reason with Touko, it didn't work so Yuu , just like Sayaka , kept the status quo to keep Touko with her until she realised how wrong that was and now she is actively doing something to change her.

When was the second time Yuu confronted Touko? You mean chapter 22? Because that didn't seem like a confrontation to tell her she's fine being herself, it was more about Yuu trying to get her to rely on her and comfort her. Then when Yuu actually tried to say something related to Touko's problem the latter just gave her a shut up kiss, so did I miss something? I only remember chapter 10 as the only real time Yuu tried to reason with Touko, it didn't work so Yuu , just like Sayaka , kept the status quo to keep Touko with her until she realised how wrong that was and now she is actively doing something to change her.

The proto-GBS, yes. Yuu did try to reason with Touko, although more sensible and less aggressive about it (a lot more listening & small questioning than making statements and telling Touko this or that which were the characteristics of the confrontation in ch 10). The shut-up kiss is a much better response than "If you don't wanna help, then I don't need it," I think lol

Well , like I said, I didn't see Yuu saying something relevant enough in that page. As soon as she asks Touko if she really needs to become someone else, Touko stops her submissive position and tops Yuu (sounds lewd right? XD ) and stops her before Yuu can start a confrontation. So I don't consider it a confrontation because Yuu was interrupted.
Also , I didn't give it any thought, but it was kind of random for Touko to suddenly ask Yuu not no fall for her. We don't know what Yuu would have said if she hadn't stopped her, but it's obvious it wouldn't have been anything love related.
And at the end of this volume, Yuu will confront Touko again, and this time Touko will respond with shut up sex ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

last edited at Oct 1, 2017 8:20PM

Citrus is good for what it is, but it doesn't have as much depth as Bloom Into You has. Furthermore, BIY's drama is always internal that affects the people around them as opposed to Citrus' "rival, one-off love interest of the week" and "Mei's acting distant again."

It warms my heart to not see pure hatred for Citrus for once! Although, it hasn't been that kind of stories since vol4. Sorry, I couldn't help but step up a bit!

I will admit that Citrus isn't exactly my favorite because it's so cliched and overly dramatic, but I think it's pretty obvious that it was meant to be a guilty pleasure sort of thing. I don't see anything wrong with having a guilty pleasure, and I think it's fair enough to deem Citrus something like that.

That said, I'd love to see this one adapted into an anime too. One can't have enough Yuri in their life.

Seriously. @Gudetamago mentioned that YagaKimi is the most popular yuri in Japan right now, so it wouldn't be unreasonable to think that they would announce an anime adaption (let's just hope they adapt it well). Fingers crossed!

People have been referring to Touko's self-hatred and questioning why she hates herself. Maybe I'm wrong, but I've been assuming all along that the root of her self hatred is that she blames herself for her sisters death. She didn't want to go out to run an errand, so her sister did it in her place and had her fatal accident. Obviously, her sister wouldn't have died if she just ran the errand herself, so (in her own mind anyway) it's the same as if she had killed her sister herself. In fact, she should have died instead. Spiraling around thoughts like this will inevitably produce self-loathing and self-hatred.

Logic cannot change this kind of thinking, and breaking out of such thought patterns and their results can be the work of years or even a lifetime.

As I said, perhaps I'm wrong.

Edit: I think other factors that have been cited here would certainly play into it and make her more vulnerable to this trap, but this is what I see as the root of it.

last edited at Oct 1, 2017 9:10PM

In fact, she should have died instead.

But in that scene it's clear that the mom asks someone to go to the store, and Touko's scissors beat Mio's paper (in our family we used to flip a coin to decide which kid would run out for milk/bread).

There's definitely guilt there, but there's a subtle but significant difference in degree between "It could have just as easily been me" and "It was supposed to be me, but I refused to go."

Because she hates herself.

But why exactly does she hate herself, and which "self" is it that she hates?

There's what Yuu calls in Chapter 10 "your weak side and your perfect side," which together are what Touko says Yuu accepts: "all of me."

But we actually have:
1) "original Touko": shy, hiding behind her sister.
2) "perfect Touko," which she thought was an imitation of Mio Mk.2, but now has learned is not, at least not entirely.
3) "real Touko": the both sides that Yuu accepts

Interesting point, which I'd never thought about. I always assumed the self she hated was her real self. I don't think "original Touko" exists anymore although she definitely detests who she used to be. And if she hates "perfect Touko", it would be because it's only an extension of her real self.

She just hates everything about herself, you know? Past and present.

Her failing to be her sister, her having no real identity (in her POV), her sister identity is not her own, & the fact she can't escape from her original identity. All these things are the flaws she finds in her existence.

That sums up everything I could have ever wished to say and more that I never thought of. The biggest irony I see about her situation is despite doing everything she can to be flawless, to feel a type of redemption in dedicating her life to becoming Mio, she has never stopped hiding behind another person's shadow.

In fact, she should have died instead.

But in that scene it's clear that the mom asks someone to go to the store, and Touko's scissors beat Mio's paper (in our family we used to flip a coin to decide which kid would run out for milk/bread).

There's definitely guilt there, but there's a subtle but significant difference in degree between "It could have just as easily been me" and "It was supposed to be me, but I refused to go."

I think it doesn't matter if she had won or lost the rock, paper, scissors match, the self-loathing would be the same. Her hatred for herself molds her view of the event, not the other way around. All that matters to her is Mio died when she should have, because her life was/is worthless compared to her sister's.

A note to the uploaders/scanlators, you guys are awesome thanks so much for bringing this wonderful manga to Japanese-illiterate people like me. :D

People have been referring to Touko's self-hatred and questioning why she hates herself. Maybe I'm wrong, but I've been assuming all along that the root of her self hatred is that she blames herself for her sisters death. She didn't want to go out to run an errand, so her sister did it in her place and had her fatal accident. Obviously, her sister wouldn't have died if she just ran the errand herself, so (in her own mind anyway) it's the same as if she had killed her sister herself. In fact, she should have died instead. Spiraling around thoughts like this will inevitably produce self-loathing and self-hatred.

Logic cannot change this kind of thinking, and breaking out of such thought patterns and their results can be the work of years or even a lifetime.

As I said, perhaps I'm wrong.

Edit: I think other factors that have been cited here would certainly play into it and make her more vulnerable to this trap, but this is what I see as the root of it.

The guilt she felt definitely plays a big part in it. I wouldn't say that it is the root of her self-hatred. Along with the words planted in her mind by her relatives, the guilt that she is the one who was partly responsible for the death of her sister kinda intensifies the negative image she already has of herself. Although this interpretation is based on the fact that the major conflict centers around Touko as well as the play is over the lack/erred perception of identity & self and not over someone trying to overcome/atone for their (perceived) past sin in their life. The root of the problem should be the thing that gets addressed as a major theme/plot point, but so far, there hasn't been a lot that deals with Touko's guilt. However, if we were to have more flashbacks to when Touko was a kid and her relationship with her sister gets fleshed out extensively, then I think you'd be right.

I think it doesn't matter if she had won or lost the rock, paper, scissors match, the self-loathing would be the same.

Your reading is probably a stronger one for the story—I was going by a couple of things that happened to people I know. In one case, a person bugged someone else into doing a job they were supposed to do, and that second person got hurt pretty badly (not killed, thank what or whoever)—messed that first person up for a long time. In another case, a friend was supposed to go to a concert but had to bail because of work, and the person who did drive wrecked their car and three people were badly injured. That was more a “there but for the grace of what or whoever” thing, but the friend still felt bad and weird about it.

But I still think the story is at some pains to make clear in that scene that which kid went out was just a matter of chance—that it wasn’t literally Touko’s fault that her sister was killed. As you say, that’s sort of irrelevant to Touko’s feeling about it.

Testing again, the problem is they think I m spam :(

Well I tried to write the following:

The last entries made me think that Touko has a PTSD, she has dreamed back probably many times to that moment in her life, that change her from a scared kid to a take charge and take no prisoners type, to reinvent herself, become popular, smart and sociable around people, leaving her old self, but at what price, to complete what her sister Mio could not due to fate stepping in and of course the next question is when her task is done, what direction her life takes?
Some people have mention the dark side (Suicide) and there are some indicators from this recent chapter, since now Sayaka and Yuu have approved the new changes to the student council play, maybe Touko is sensing a certain loss of some control of the student body council. Touko has some issues dealing with theses changes. I don't know if the author reads all these post ( I don't know if she reads English) but she will kept us guessing the outcome of the story. Many many years ago I learn that the hero doesn't get the girl at the time, like the movie "Streets of Fire" a rock and roll fable in which our hero rescues his old girlfriend , but does not stick around and goes back to his side of town with his new friend and sidekick, while his old girlfriend continues with her singing career, but we can speculate and wait for the outcome.......

Ed Price (Streets of Fire) .......My plan fell to shit...let see what you can do............

last edited at Oct 3, 2017 9:05AM

For a couple of updates now, I've been thinking about what Yuu says at the very end of chapter 5: "At that time, I still hadn't realized that I would have to give up something in order to [stay by her side]." Those are actually the most ominous words I can think of in the entire series, because up until this point, I don't believe they have yet to pass. From how I read it, it seems Yuu will be faced with a sacrifice to stay with Touko, which in essence means doing something to prevent Touko from ever reaching a point of no return in regard to her trapped mindset. It also suggests she will make that sacrifice.

The problem is, this plot point is the one that seems to have the least to no foreshadowing. We have seen Yuu have to hold back her feelings in order to not drive Touko away, but those sort of subtle actions don't merit such a blunt and blatantly important statement. As far as I can wrack my brains, nothing else has hinted at this development either.

Anybody have thoughts on this?

I’ve wondered about this too, riverFlower, since there doesn’t seem to be any direct explanation of what that “something” would be.

But I have always assumed that, since immediately before that line Yuu mentions her desire to “stay by [Touko’s] side,” it was a foreshadowing of the shift from “I love you even though you don’t love me back” to “I’ll continue to love you only if you don’t love me back,” which is the weird and toxic emotional blackmail that makes this series so fundamentally unsettling.

For a couple of updates now, I've been thinking about what Yuu says at the very end of chapter 5: "At that time, I still hadn't realized that I would have to give up something in order to [stay by her side]." Those are actually the most ominous words I can think of in the entire series, because up until this point, I don't believe they have yet to pass. From how I read it, it seems Yuu will be faced with a sacrifice to stay with Touko, which in essence means doing something to prevent Touko from ever reaching a point of no return in regard to her trapped mindset. It also suggests she will make that sacrifice.

The problem is, this plot point is the one that seems to have the least to no foreshadowing. We have seen Yuu have to hold back her feelings in order to not drive Touko away, but those sort of subtle actions don't merit such a blunt and blatantly important statement. As far as I can wrack my brains, nothing else has hinted at this development either.

Anybody have thoughts on this?

I'm pretty sure that line has and is already happening. In chapter 10, Yuu realised Touko doesn't want to be loved, yet Yuu decided to stay with her (for whatever self-centered reasons she had to do that at that time). So, in order to be with Touko, Yuu had to give up love. She could fall in love with someone else, but the thing is in that very same chapter she chose Touko as the only person she wants to love, and then she had to promise not to love anyone else.
Volume 4 is the one that shows that line happening the most, with chapter 18 "I can't do anything" "I could never say [my wish] outloud" or in chapter 19 when Yuu was complaining about Touko being inconsiderate of her feelings.
I don't think the line is yet to happen , if chapter 24 had a lot of simbolism which left clear that Touko and Yuu's current relationship will end, if anything, to bring a better one.

last edited at Oct 4, 2017 6:54AM

Riverflower
Blastaar
Scarlet 128

As I mention before Touko is a Take charge and take no prisoners type of person, with a PTSD (Post Traumatic stress disorder) not matter what stands in her way, she wants it, she will get it . But also we must look back to some statements made about her from Sayaka and Yuu:

"That was a pretty good explanation.....but is that really how you feel?"
"Come on you are not playing fair........."
(When she choose Yuu to be her campaign manager)
"Not Again she keeps dazzling me with her words....."
"She really doesn't play fair ........"
(The coffee shop scene were Touko told her she love her)

Also if we got back to Chapter 3 at that scene at the coffee shop, that look that Touko gives Yuu, Like a tiger looking a the prey, or chew toy after she told her she did not mind, that type of relationship and of course the scene at the Donuts shop after Yuu complain that somebody might do sometime weird at the summer camp.

" I can't call her by her first name, I can't do anything, but she always does whatever she wants with me....."
"She so unfair......"

But now i feel that the tables are turning with the recent chapter and the disagreement between Sayaka and Touko about the new version of the play. Touko lost some control here. She could not veto the new version of the play and now must follow the rules.

But I believe that a life line was thrown to Touko by Yuu as the nurse in the play:
"Don't abandon yourself to become someone else.........."
"But still I know you........"
"I'd be sad to lose you......."

Again were are in a heck of a ride of emotions, feelings and like a said some flare ups here and there.

Waiting for the next Chapter..........

...The course of true love never did run smooth.....W. Shakespear

...The Lady doth protest to much, me think........W.Shakespear

..Police officer Ed Price to Cody (Streets of Fire ).. My plan fell to shit.......let see what you can do....

@riverFlower Regarding that line at the end of vol 1, I share the same reading as Scarlet, that it refers to the twist in ch 10 where Yuu has to promise to give up on falling in love in order to continue being by Touko's side. Although I think it's interesting that you brought up the possibility of it having a bigger implication, I didn't think about that before.

I swear if her best friend do not get another girl at the end of this series, I will ROIT!!!!!

But I have always assumed that, since immediately before that line Yuu mentions her desire to “stay by [Touko’s] side,” it was a foreshadowing of the shift from “I love you even though you don’t love me back” to “I’ll continue to love you only if you don’t love me back,” which is the weird and toxic emotional blackmail that makes this series so fundamentally unsettling.

Yeah, I might just be taking that line out of context and retroactively placing undue significance on it. I always forget the beginning started with a completely different set of expectations. Chapter 10 could have been the fulfillment of that prophecy.

So, in order to be with Touko, Yuu had to give up love.

If that is the case though, if it's an ongoing condition, then what does it mean now that Yuu certainly does love Touko?

I can't shake the feeling it's meant to be a very poignant statement, something cutting to the heart of the story, because it's the only instance I can think of where the flow of linear time is broken for future Yuu to chime in. For that same reason, I would also expect it to apply to the end of the story, since I wouldn't imagine chapter 10 Yuu would stop and think, "5 chapters ago I didn't know I would have to give up something to stay with Touko."

Going back to the question, I would think of two possibilities.

Assuming what she says is meant to have larger implications and that what she had to give up was loving another, because she will almost certainly not give up her love for Touko, she will no longer be by Touko's side by the end.

Second possibility. Maybe the meaning of the statement could change, at first referencing Touko's selfish desire to have Yuu all to herself, and ultimately encapsulating Yuu's (relatively) selfless love. I could imagine a more-broken or simply confused Touko with no idea of where to go next (after the climactic event) still being approached by Yuu and the impact that would have. It would be a really cheesy ending if the moral of the story turned out to be "love conquers all", but I could see something similar happening. If that were the case, then what Yuu hadn't realized yet in chapter 5 would be what love actually is. That to be with someone and love them, you will have to sacrifice, you will have to give up your time and energy, compromise, be willing to dedicate yourself.

I mean the entire launching point of Yagate Kimi ni Naru was Yuu not knowing what love is. She reaches for the projected stars first, then holds the projector itself in her hands, and perhaps soon she'll find the light that is the actual source of those stars.

Touko is an unhealthy mess, and in real life people cannot be saved with love, but often it can be a tipping point. To me at least, this makes thematical and narrative sense.

Third possibility, I'm overthinking this and it was only meant as a dramatic teaser for the second volume. XD

If that is the case though, if it's an ongoing condition, then what does it mean now that Yuu certainly does love Touko?

Yuu loving Touko doesn't take away the fact that she has to give up on that love. In fact, it makes even more sense in a way. All this time, even in the latest chapter, she still can't bring herself to admit that she is in love. She has been repressing her feelings because she knows deep down that things will hurt more if she accepts it, since Touko doesn't want that love. So Yuu, who wants to be with Touko, has been giving up on her love because she wants to be with Touko. If she tells Touko she has feelings for her, Touko will leave her. So the "something" meaning love does make sense. Fall in love can't be controlled, and what's the point of being in love with someone if your beloved doesn't want your love? Yuu can certainly choose not to give on her love, being in love is something she has always wanted, but if she doesn't give up, Touko will stop being by her side (up until this point, if Touko changes her ways she'll very likely stop rejecting love from others).

That to be with someone and love them, you will have to sacrifice, you will have to give up your time and energy, compromise, be willing to dedicate yourself.

Maybe, but then it wouldn't be "something" but "things" since you're mentionating more than one. And time, energy and compromise aren't things you give up in order to be someone, it's actually the opposite, you invest that stuff on the person you love. You mean your time and energy to do other things? I'm sure Yuu is free to do whatever she wants, the only restrictions Touko puts on her are about love, she can't love Touko and he can't love anyone else.

Third possibility, I'm overthinking this and it was only meant as a dramatic teaser for the second volume. XD

If the line really refers to love, then it's not only about chapter 10 at all. Like I already explained, this "giving up on love" has been happening until now, and will continue to be this way until Yuu admits she's in love, to herself , and ultimately, to Touko. It's really a very important point in the plot, I never took it as a merely teaser.

I agree that "giving up" is a strong word, and there's also the possibility of it refering to something other than love. It could also be "giving up a real, romantic relationship with Touko", but that's pretty much the same as love. Since so far there's no other hint about what that line means, I'll stick with love.

last edited at Oct 5, 2017 2:03AM

She's taken a running leap.........
The leap is okay when you are in the air, but the sudden stop when you hit the ground, could leave a mark! Ouch! Now that she knows that Sayaka loves Touko. How is that going to affect Yuu feelings and actions. But she is firm to help Touko out .

Again were are in a heck of a roller coaster ride of emotions, feelings and like a said some flare ups here and there. What state of mind is Touko in now.

Waiting for the next Chapter..........

...The course of true love never did run smooth.....W. Shakespear

...The Lady doth protest to much, me think........W.Shakespear

..Police officer Ed Price to Cody (Streets of Fire ).. My plan fell to shit.......let see what you can do....

I am absolutely eager to read the next chapter. I wonder if it will be a slow paced development or a major conflict beginning.

Looks like some kind of teenage romance drama involving Yuu's friend and probably some Touko self-reflection.

Not a lot of progress.

Like i said before i dont speak and read Japanese, but the first page looks like Touko holding the key to her past or her secrets . Yes Nya-Chan its a relationship issue of Yuu friend Akari and the Sempai she likes at the Basketball club, I think the other girl likes him too. Also notice some rejection from Touko towards Yuu as well. We are definitely getting now into side stories, we will see more on the secondary characters of this school drama.

...The course of true love never did run smooth.....William Shakespeare

...The Lady doth protest to much, me think........William Shakespeare

..Police officer Ed Price to Cody (Streets of Fire ).. My plan fell to shit.......let see what you can do....