I'm so confused... I need someone to explain this to me, please...

I'm so confused... I need someone to explain this to me, please...

Blackhair loves blondie but believes that they should not become lovers.
Blondie seems to just want sex.

I want an angst tag. ^ Poor blackhair.

Poor indeed.

become sex friend...
poor black hair..
she's just become sex friend...
aaaaaaaaaanggggggggggggggggggssstttt

last edited at May 12, 2015 2:24AM

sex friend... meh

It seems like... Shiho (dark hair) and Emika (light hair) began having sex as friends, after knowing each other for a long time. At some point, before or after, Shiho started to feel attracted to Emika, but she becomes increasingly uncomfortable about the idea of doing all these things in the absence of mutual love or a romantic relationship, while also falling into a loop of internalised homophobia and denial. The story begins, and Shiho starts thinking about how she kinda gets taken for granted by her seemingly innocent friend.

Emiko talks about how they only ever kiss when they're already having sex, and that she likes the "funny faces" Shiho makes after they do. They kiss, and Shiho gets turned on, but when she touches Emiko, she realises that she "isn't wet", which I think is supposed to be a red flag about the difference between their feelings: Shiho is aroused just after sitting on the same bed with Emiko and making out a little, but Emiko doesn't seem to feel the same sense of excitement or urgency. Dwelling on this, she starts getting mixed up in damaging thoughts about how it's too difficult for two women to be a couple, that they can't be honest about their feelings for each other because life would inevitably drive them apart, but they could always be together if they stayed friends.

With this conclusion, she decides that it would be better to lock their relationship at that level, and stop putting it at risk by having sex; however, upon hearing this, Emika enigmatically asks what Shiho thinks the difference is between "having a friend to have sex with, and having sex with a friend?" In other words, it's implied that for Emika, at least part of the reason she's friends with Shiho at all is to have sex with her, and that it had never been about love in the first place. Suddenly confronted by the yawning chasm between their feelings, Shiho's expression turns cold, and it's revealed that this is exactly the "funny face" Emiko always loves seeing. While Emiko had never been in love with Shiho, she was very much aware of Shiho's feelings for her; all along, she hadn't been naively taking Shiho for granted, she had been actively pushing the limits of how much bad treatment Shiho would put up with out of love. Whenever they kissed, Shiho's feelings of pain and loneliness would show on her face, and it was that feeling of power, of being loved so desperately, of being able to put someone through so much pain and still have them follow her around like a loyal dog, that turned Emiko on the most.

As Shiho grapples with the idea that Emiko might simply discard her if they stop having sex, her expression of shock gets Emiko in the mood again, and the story ends. Whether Shiho breaks away from her childhood friend, heartbroken and disillusioned, or if she is trapped by love and despair as Emiko's plaything, doomed to be twisted up and pushed around until Emiko inevitably loses interest and throws her away, we never know.

last edited at May 12, 2015 2:35AM

It seems like... Shiho (dark hair) and Emika (light hair) began having sex as friends, after knowing each other for a long time. At some point, before or after, Shiho started to feel attracted to Emika, but she becomes increasingly uncomfortable about the idea of doing all these things in the absence of mutual love or a romantic relationship, while also falling into a loop of internalised homophobia and denial. The story begins, and Shiho starts thinking about how she kinda gets taken for granted by her seemingly innocent friend.

Emiko talks about how they only ever kiss when they're already having sex, and that she likes the "funny faces" Shiho makes after they do. They kiss, and Shiho gets turned on, but when she touches Emiko, she realises that she "isn't wet", which I think is supposed to be a red flag about the difference between their feelings: Shiho is aroused just after sitting on the same bed with Emiko and making out a little, but Emiko doesn't seem to feel the same sense of excitement or urgency. Dwelling on this, she starts getting mixed up in damaging thoughts about how it's too difficult for two women to be a couple, that they can't be honest about their feelings for each other because life would inevitably drive them apart, but they could always be together if they stayed friends.

With this conclusion, she decides that it would be better to lock their relationship at that level, and stop putting it at risk by having sex; however, upon hearing this, Emika enigmatically asks what Shiho thinks the difference is between "having a friend to have sex with, and having sex with a friend?" In other words, it's implied that for Emika, at least part of the reason she's friends with Shiho at all is to have sex with her, and that it had never been about love in the first place. Suddenly confronted by the yawning chasm between their feelings, Shiho's expression turns cold, and it's revealed that this is exactly the "funny face" Emiko always loves seeing. While Emiko had never been in love with Shiho, she was very much aware of Shiho's feelings for her; all along, she hadn't been naively taking Shiho for granted, she had been actively pushing the limits of how much bad treatment Shiho would put up with out of love. Whenever they kissed, Shiho's feelings of pain and loneliness would show on her face, and it was that feeling of power, of being loved so desperately, of being able to put someone through so much pain and still have them follow her around like a loyal dog, that turned Emiko on the most.

As Shiho grapples with the idea that Emiko might simply discard her if they stop having sex, her expression of shock gets Emiko in the mood again, and the story ends. Whether Shiho breaks away from her childhood friend, heartbroken and disillusioned, or if she is trapped by love and despair as Emiko's plaything, doomed to be twisted up and pushed around until Emiko inevitably loses interest and throws her away, we never know.

Holy shit, what the fuck? That's so twisted. Usually this author just makes happy vanilla stories, right? I'm surprised they would write something like this. I honestly kept waiting for the mutual love ending.

Soooo disappoint.

I need a sequel to clarify this! This seems pretty fucked up already but I need to know what Shiho's gonna do. Hopefully Emiko get slapped in the face XD

It seems like... Shiho (dark hair) and Emika (light hair) began having sex as friends, after knowing each other for a long time. At some point, before or after, Shiho started to feel attracted to Emika, but she becomes increasingly uncomfortable about the idea of doing all these things in the absence of mutual love or a romantic relationship, while also falling into a loop of internalised homophobia and denial. The story begins, and Shiho starts thinking about how she kinda gets taken for granted by her seemingly innocent friend.

Emiko talks about how they only ever kiss when they're already having sex, and that she likes the "funny faces" Shiho makes after they do. They kiss, and Shiho gets turned on, but when she touches Emiko, she realises that she "isn't wet", which I think is supposed to be a red flag about the difference between their feelings: Shiho is aroused just after sitting on the same bed with Emiko and making out a little, but Emiko doesn't seem to feel the same sense of excitement or urgency. Dwelling on this, she starts getting mixed up in damaging thoughts about how it's too difficult for two women to be a couple, that they can't be honest about their feelings for each other because life would inevitably drive them apart, but they could always be together if they stayed friends.

With this conclusion, she decides that it would be better to lock their relationship at that level, and stop putting it at risk by having sex; however, upon hearing this, Emika enigmatically asks what Shiho thinks the difference is between "having a friend to have sex with, and having sex with a friend?" In other words, it's implied that for Emika, at least part of the reason she's friends with Shiho at all is to have sex with her, and that it had never been about love in the first place. Suddenly confronted by the yawning chasm between their feelings, Shiho's expression turns cold, and it's revealed that this is exactly the "funny face" Emiko always loves seeing. While Emiko had never been in love with Shiho, she was very much aware of Shiho's feelings for her; all along, she hadn't been naively taking Shiho for granted, she had been actively pushing the limits of how much bad treatment Shiho would put up with out of love. Whenever they kissed, Shiho's feelings of pain and loneliness would show on her face, and it was that feeling of power, of being loved so desperately, of being able to put someone through so much pain and still have them follow her around like a loyal dog, that turned Emiko on the most.

As Shiho grapples with the idea that Emiko might simply discard her if they stop having sex, her expression of shock gets Emiko in the mood again, and the story ends. Whether Shiho breaks away from her childhood friend, heartbroken and disillusioned, or if she is trapped by love and despair as Emiko's plaything, doomed to be twisted up and pushed around until Emiko inevitably loses interest and throws her away, we never know.

Holy shit, what the fuck? That's so twisted. Usually this author just makes happy vanilla stories, right? I'm surprised they would write something like this. I honestly kept waiting for the mutual love ending.

Soooo disappoint.

agreeee... so despair... just end this...

I am read this because there is no tag angst.. but...
oh sh*t...

last edited at May 12, 2015 4:57AM

Wow... your analysis game is on point Gale...
~
A continuation would be nice, but just for the mc to find someone else, other girl is twisted...is this "ntr"? (Still kinda vague on meaning of ntr)

It seems like... Shiho (dark hair) and Emika (light hair) began having sex as friends, after knowing each other for a long time. At some point, before or after, Shiho started to feel attracted to Emika, but she becomes increasingly uncomfortable about the idea of doing all these things in the absence of mutual love or a romantic relationship, while also falling into a loop of internalised homophobia and denial. The story begins, and Shiho starts thinking about how she kinda gets taken for granted by her seemingly innocent friend.

Emiko talks about how they only ever kiss when they're already having sex, and that she likes the "funny faces" Shiho makes after they do. They kiss, and Shiho gets turned on, but when she touches Emiko, she realises that she "isn't wet", which I think is supposed to be a red flag about the difference between their feelings: Shiho is aroused just after sitting on the same bed with Emiko and making out a little, but Emiko doesn't seem to feel the same sense of excitement or urgency. Dwelling on this, she starts getting mixed up in damaging thoughts about how it's too difficult for two women to be a couple, that they can't be honest about their feelings for each other because life would inevitably drive them apart, but they could always be together if they stayed friends.

With this conclusion, she decides that it would be better to lock their relationship at that level, and stop putting it at risk by having sex; however, upon hearing this, Emika enigmatically asks what Shiho thinks the difference is between "having a friend to have sex with, and having sex with a friend?" In other words, it's implied that for Emika, at least part of the reason she's friends with Shiho at all is to have sex with her, and that it had never been about love in the first place. Suddenly confronted by the yawning chasm between their feelings, Shiho's expression turns cold, and it's revealed that this is exactly the "funny face" Emiko always loves seeing. While Emiko had never been in love with Shiho, she was very much aware of Shiho's feelings for her; all along, she hadn't been naively taking Shiho for granted, she had been actively pushing the limits of how much bad treatment Shiho would put up with out of love. Whenever they kissed, Shiho's feelings of pain and loneliness would show on her face, and it was that feeling of power, of being loved so desperately, of being able to put someone through so much pain and still have them follow her around like a loyal dog, that turned Emiko on the most.

As Shiho grapples with the idea that Emiko might simply discard her if they stop having sex, her expression of shock gets Emiko in the mood again, and the story ends. Whether Shiho breaks away from her childhood friend, heartbroken and disillusioned, or if she is trapped by love and despair as Emiko's plaything, doomed to be twisted up and pushed around until Emiko inevitably loses interest and throws her away, we never know.

I can basically agree with you up until the line where Emiko says, "What's the difference between having a friend to have sex with and having a sex friend?" because I believe it wasn't her intention to hurt Shiori, but rather it showed Emiko's naivety to the ways of the world which was emphasized in the beginning of the story, and that she only sees being in a relationship as "having a friend to have sex with". So she was asking what's the difference between what they have know and what it would be like if they were dating, and thus the look on Shiori's face in the next panel isn't an expression of shock from terror, but rather from happiness or embarrassment, and that's the face that Emiko likes to see.

Then there's also ambiguous things like on page 107, where after Shiori brings up the topic of love, right before they kiss on a close up of their lips one of them begins to say something that beings with I love before getting interrupted. We can assume that it's Emiko though, since as long as we follow the 180 degree rule, it was the person on the left with her lips open, which Emiko has been.
All in all, if you read into it a bit, it's not really a story filled with angst, and I agree with it not being tagged us such, but just a light-hearted one off.

It seems like... Shiho (dark hair) and Emika (light hair) began having sex as friends, after knowing each other for a long time. At some point, before or after, Shiho started to feel attracted to Emika, but she becomes increasingly uncomfortable about the idea of doing all these things in the absence of mutual love or a romantic relationship, while also falling into a loop of internalised homophobia and denial. The story begins, and Shiho starts thinking about how she kinda gets taken for granted by her seemingly innocent friend.

Emiko talks about how they only ever kiss when they're already having sex, and that she likes the "funny faces" Shiho makes after they do. They kiss, and Shiho gets turned on, but when she touches Emiko, she realises that she "isn't wet", which I think is supposed to be a red flag about the difference between their feelings: Shiho is aroused just after sitting on the same bed with Emiko and making out a little, but Emiko doesn't seem to feel the same sense of excitement or urgency. Dwelling on this, she starts getting mixed up in damaging thoughts about how it's too difficult for two women to be a couple, that they can't be honest about their feelings for each other because life would inevitably drive them apart, but they could always be together if they stayed friends.

With this conclusion, she decides that it would be better to lock their relationship at that level, and stop putting it at risk by having sex; however, upon hearing this, Emika enigmatically asks what Shiho thinks the difference is between "having a friend to have sex with, and having sex with a friend?" In other words, it's implied that for Emika, at least part of the reason she's friends with Shiho at all is to have sex with her, and that it had never been about love in the first place. Suddenly confronted by the yawning chasm between their feelings, Shiho's expression turns cold, and it's revealed that this is exactly the "funny face" Emiko always loves seeing. While Emiko had never been in love with Shiho, she was very much aware of Shiho's feelings for her; all along, she hadn't been naively taking Shiho for granted, she had been actively pushing the limits of how much bad treatment Shiho would put up with out of love. Whenever they kissed, Shiho's feelings of pain and loneliness would show on her face, and it was that feeling of power, of being loved so desperately, of being able to put someone through so much pain and still have them follow her around like a loyal dog, that turned Emiko on the most.

As Shiho grapples with the idea that Emiko might simply discard her if they stop having sex, her expression of shock gets Emiko in the mood again, and the story ends. Whether Shiho breaks away from her childhood friend, heartbroken and disillusioned, or if she is trapped by love and despair as Emiko's plaything, doomed to be twisted up and pushed around until Emiko inevitably loses interest and throws her away, we never know.

I can basically agree with you up until the line where Emiko says, "What's the difference between having a friend to have sex with and having a sex friend?" because I believe it wasn't her intention to hurt Shiori, but rather it showed Emiko's naivety to the ways of the world which was emphasized in the beginning of the story, and that she only sees being in a relationship as "having a friend to have sex with". So she was asking what's the difference between what they have know and what it would be like if they were dating, and thus the look on Shiori's face in the next panel isn't an expression of shock from terror, but rather from happiness or embarrassment, and that's the face that Emiko likes to see.

Then there's also ambiguous things like on page 107, where after Shiori brings up the topic of love, right before they kiss on a close up of their lips one of them begins to say something that beings with I love before getting interrupted. We can assume that it's Emiko though, since as long as we follow the 180 degree rule, it was the person on the left with her lips open, which Emiko has been.
All in all, if you read into it a bit, it's not really a story filled with angst, and I agree with it not being tagged us such, but just a light-hearted one off.

I like this second explaination, it seems to fit the tone of the story better.

Then there's also ambiguous things like on page 107, where after Shiori brings up the topic of love, right before they kiss on a close up of their lips one of them begins to say something that beings with I love before getting interrupted. We can assume that it's Emiko though, since as long as we follow the 180 degree rule, it was the person on the left with her lips open, which Emiko has been.

"To the point of wanting to make you cum, Shiori, that's how much..."
next panel: "I lo-"
So yeah, it's her.

I can basically agree with you up until the line where Emiko says, "What's the difference between having a friend to have sex with and having a sex friend?" because I believe it wasn't her intention to hurt Shiori, but rather it showed Emiko's naivety to the ways of the world which was emphasized in the beginning of the story, and that she only sees being in a relationship as "having a friend to have sex with". So she was asking what's the difference between what they have know and what it would be like if they were dating, and thus the look on Shiori's face in the next panel isn't an expression of shock from terror, but rather from happiness or embarrassment, and that's the face that Emiko likes to see.

That's a valid interpretation, and I can definitely see it that way. Honestly, I had to read it a second time before I remotely understood what had happened, since the characters themselves are difficult to understand by design. The main thing that splits it off into darker territory for me is basically tone and framing, which is pretty vague territory in itself, but I think it communicates a lot that the dialogue leaves unstated. I'll go into specifics in a bit, but basically, my argument is that if the author was trying to write a happy ending of mutual love, reading that last page wouldn't feel so much like drowning at the bottom of the ocean.

However, having looked at it with fresh eyes, I will totally admit that my interpretation skewed darker than necessary, mostly because I automatically assume that anyone THAT airheaded must be putting on an act to hide something. My presumptions aside, I think the shocking last-page twist was actually supposed to be that she really is as bafflingly simple as she seems, and she wasn't hiding anything after all. Sorry to everyone who read my last post and felt terrible about it, lol.

First, the internal monologue: it carries on seamlessly from where she left off a few pages ago, so I'm pretty confident about guessing what she was about to say from context. Summarised, "I know how things would end up if we started going out. I'm sure she's thinking the same thing; that's why we never say 'I love you'. We try to express these feelings to each other through sex, but in the end, nothing changes the fact that we can't really be together, and the longer we cling to these unspoken promises, the harder it will be when we have to grow up." At the point of interruption, she believes that they sleep together because they have a mutual love that they can't openly acknowledge, and the line that cuts her off is specifically Emiko casually talking about the nuances of having sex with friends. Their elusive talk of love didn't phase her, but having the topic move explicitly towards "friends with whom you have sex" immediately stops her in her tracks.

So I think it's not that Shiho realised that they were special to each other after all, or that Emiko was a terrifying sadist queen manipulating everyone for her own pleasure (in other words, Remi) but rather that Shiho thought they had a secret, silent love affair going on, that they couldn't talk about even to each other, and that they slept together out of a desperate need to be feel close and express their feelings and stifle their agonised longing for each other, whereas Emiko just liked having sex because it was fun activity she could do with her childhood friend, and literally nothing else. The thing about Shiho's "funny face" was literally that Emiko thought her expression was weird, because Emiko literally doesn't understand the concept of internal conflict. That's all it is. Shiho got all twisted up in a tragic romance with a love that dare not speak it's name, and then discovered that her partner just thought they were playing Tekken.

I still say it's pretty negative because, looking at the last few frames, it's very much a template of heartbreak. Eyes are important; they imply sincerity, connection, depth of feeling. Characters are drawn without eyes to give them a feeling of alienation, in every sense of the word. We don't see Emika's at all on this page; she's specifically drawn without them, in plain white contrast to Shiho's inner thoughts. In the last frame, not only are Shiho's eyes obscured, she's completely unresponsive, and the entire scene is drawn from a distance, the background becoming darker from left to right, for a sinking feeling. It's just not constructed like a happy or hopeful ending at all.

Anyway, the point is, I read way too much into it, the Dark Thorn Queen edition of Emiko is probably non-canon, and the actual intended character apparently has developmental difficulties, or something, because she really is just super airheaded. Perhaps she's a robot. I don't know. WAY less awful than what I had initially thought, but still quite a gloomy little story.

Edit: fucking spent three actual hours on this post about a twenty page h-doujin, I hate myself so much

last edited at May 12, 2015 2:14PM

This was just painful to read.

Jesus what a fucking sad ending. I really did not expect that. Much less from this mangaka.

Ugh I need like a warning tag for stories like this. I didn't see an angst or drama tag so I thought it'd be happy >__<

I'll just use my super-secret mega-awesome fanfic technique to make myself feel better about this.

tag angst pleas...
to stop more victim of this manga, LOL

fucking spent three actual hours on this post about a twenty page h-doujin, I hate myself so much

It's okay, I like you for it. Very good analysis.

Edit: fucking spent three actual hours on this post about a twenty page h-doujin, I hate myself so much

lmao hahaha.

yea i think she's just a bimbo. makes me wonder if she was asking about the differences out of sincerely not knowing it, or as a question towards her friend, though either way i think she views them as the same. whether you go out to meet people to, ultimately have sex with, or decide to just do it with a friend you already have and care for, the end result is pretty much the same.

Ah damn !!! Okay Love then sex but sex doesnt mean Love !!! It won't last long !!
I hate this kind of relationship, it's nothing but sex and sex all day without saying love to each other. So Horrible ==, truly Bad ending.

my heart... hurt so much

I can only say this is unusual for Amanagi Seiji