This is genuinely an incredible doujin. The way it skips around feels both satisfying and very intentional on your part, and the dialogue felt very authentic to the source material. Also, the supplementary and smaller, cuter art feels very on brand, reminding me of the official PMMM Manga.
Also, that second chapter just feels so blissful and amazing to read, and that contrast puts this above a lot of fan-works that tend to lean super heavily in the angst direction. I mean, it's not unheard of or anything, but... that's some REALLY good MadoHomu yuri, and it just makes their relationship feel so meaningful.
Incredible job! Great art, great story, and overall a short, very enjoyable read.