Wow, what a bad translation!

What corrections would you suggest?

In page 1, fourth bubble, when the girl that arrived ask if the other girl was waiting for her, she says "だ だめだた?", you translated it as "R... Really?", when it should be translated as "Was it no good?" or something like this, and the other one reply "ううん", that it's a way to say "No", and you translated as "Y-Yes".

In page 2, the girl says "帰ろか", you translated it as "Are you going home?", when it should be "Let's go home", in the same page after the forehead kiss, the other girl says "こちがよかったなー なんて" while pointing to her mouth, you translated it as "That felt... nice... somehow" when it should be "I would prefer it was here... just joking".

You totally changed scenes context, you should do some corrections in this one.

Regardless, that read was... nice... somehow.

In page 1, fourth bubble, when the girl that arrived ask if the other girl was waiting for her, she says "だ だめだた?", you translated it as "R... Really?", when it should be translated as "Was it no good?" or something like this, and the other one reply "ううん", that it's a way to say "No", and you translated as "Y-Yes".

In page 2, the girl says "帰ろか", you translated it as "Are you going home?", when it should be "Let's go home", in the same page after the forehead kiss, the other girl says "こちがよかったなー なんて" while pointing to her mouth, you translated it as "That felt... nice... somehow" when it should be "I would prefer it was here... just joking".

You totally changed scenes context, you should do some corrections in this one.

Submitted the changes. Thanks for the help.

D.....E......Y.......M

Would be nice if there were more >.<

Welp. Wha was that

I woulda liked more anxious blush time before the kiss, just for that yuri manga fix...but yesh this ish gud stuff...

This chapter is complete. There are two more chapters, though:
https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=44333014
https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=44811005

amen

This chapter is complete. There are two more chapters, though:
https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=44333014
https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=44811005

onther one

I hope they continue this series

Damn, I really wish the series gets continued.

Looking at the series on the artist's pixiv you can do a pretty good job of piecing the story together even without knowing Japanese. Seems to get kinda dark and I'm not sure what to make of the most recent 3-page epilogue(?), but it doesn't feel like a particularly good end. Chapters 4 and 5 also seem to be rewrites of 1-3, but maybe they're actually alternate possibilities. Hard to say without knowing what's being said.

That last page feels kinda bad.