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Avatar_a24d1ef02fc0_128
joined May 24, 2015

Okay, okay, put your pitchforks down, let me explain.
I just finished reading Usotsuki Lily, a manga that has yuri, yaoi and het in it. I quite enjoyed the whole thing, and read the discussion thread to see what others thought. Dismayed, I saw that many people were annoyed at the prevalence of het and wondered where the yuri was and wanted to read only those chapters.
A little background info on myself: I was primarily a het reader about 5-6 years ago, and switched to yuri once I found Dynasty (though I still enjoy het).
I saw many times in forum discussions of people bashing others for liking a het ship more than a yuri ship, and someone actually complaining about having a MALE SUPPORT CHARACTER. THE NERVE.
I decided to post a message on the Usotsuki Lily board, addressing why people only wanted Yuri without giving this mainly het manga a chance. Here's the first conversation that took place:

Phemon posted:

I don't know why some people are so gung-ho on hating het in this website. NSFW stuff I understand, but stuff like this? How different is a guy from a girl that dresses tomboyishly, if it's not for defining sexual characteristics (pee-pee and vajay-jay) and personality?

How is your home security? Did you train some way of self-defense? You should be extra careful from now on.

Ooh, scary. I'm asking a serious question. Love can take many forms. In manga, I've seen countless men who look like women and vice versa. I've seen girly men and burly women.
I'm wondering why people hate het. If it's just physical appearances, then one should also hate a Butch lesbian, no?
Please. HELP me understand. Threatening me just creates discouse

(Edit) every time I've seen someone insulting another genre of romance, yaoi, het, Yuri, whatever, it's always been bashing and ridiculing. They never sit down and explain why they hate it, they just say "____ IS DISGUSTING AND YOU SHOULD FEEL HORRIBLE FOR LIKING IT DON'T @ME"
It's rather childish, like someone not giving a reason because they haven't thought of one
Look at me, I don't like yaoi, but I enjoyed it in this. Sure the risque parts were hard to read, but I enjoyed Ten and Haiyou's relationship progression
It just frustrates me that many people denounce a whole sub-division of literature just because one of the characters has a little junk in his trunk.

Some literally threatened me instead of giving reasons. Are some yuri-only people that xenophobic?
That's what led me to this discussion thread. Again, NSFW het I understand you disliking. But what about regular stories, where the person's sex really shouldn't be one of the defining plot points?
I'm genuinely curious about what others think. Please let me know what you think (if, of course, you have something constructive to say. Don't just say "het lovers are the worst" and not explain why)

GendoIkari Uploader
Tsuglenda
joined Aug 10, 2011

I AM THE WIZARD OF MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON MAGIC

Parnifia the Bastard
Chrome_2018-04-13_12-33-32-min%20(3)
joined Aug 4, 2014

It may have something to do with compartmentalizing. Or perhaps they put the yuri genre on a pedestal for being "pure" and automatically disliking anything that they perceive as corrupting that purity? There could be any number of reasons even the people in question aren't aware of.
To be fair, this is a specialized site, and a lot of people come here looking for yuri and only yuri. And because they're mainly seeing yuri, anything else that gets mixed in is perceived as something they don't want being shoved in their face. I find myself feeling that way from time to time. At the end of the day, though, as long as it isn't a dude interrupting a lesbian relationship I won't be losing sleep over it.

A2bcf11834a1918b3f09b4219b2a099f_r
joined Aug 16, 2014

I think most don't even care. The people who dislike Het simply don't read it and/or has the tag blacklisted, the people who like it are few and/or don't post much. It's just a few persons who seem to enjoy going out of their way to shit on threads of tags they dislike (and this isn't limited to Het).

Avatar_a24d1ef02fc0_128
joined May 24, 2015

I AM THE WIZARD OF MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON MAGIC

Well, of all the replies I was expecting I certainly didn't expect this lol. Keep on topic, Gendo.
.

a lot of people come here looking for yuri and only yuri

And that's the whole reason I started this. WHY are people looking for yuri and only yuri? Why do people think "okay this person is cute" but then suddenly "oh GOD IT'S A GUY? BLEACH, EYES, NOW."
In retrospect I suppose this discussion is more psychological than I anticipated.
Think about it: if people hate het manga, they're on the same level as real gay bashers (OKAY OKAY not as horrible as those cretins, but along the same basis.) A group of people hate a certain group of other people just because of the prevalence of a relationship that they don't agree upon
I'm not trying to insult anyone, I'm just curious

last edited at Apr 11, 2018 8:50PM

Nezchan Moderator
Meiling%20bun%20150px
joined Jun 28, 2012

I AM THE WIZARD OF MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON MAGIC

Well, of all the replies I was expecting I certainly didn't expect this lol. Keep on topic, Gendo.

Do not presume to overturn the foundation of the universe.

a lot of people come here looking for yuri and only yuri

And that's the whole reason I started this. WHY are people looking for yuri and only yuri?

Because...I'm not het and want to read romance stories I can relate to with people who are, at least on that level, like me. It's not really complicated.

Think about it: if people hate het manga, they're on the same level as real gay bashers (OKAY OKAY not as horrible as those cretins, but along the same basis.) A group of people hate a certain group of other people just because of the prevalence of a relationship that they don't agree upon

Wat.

Avatar_a24d1ef02fc0_128
joined May 24, 2015

a lot of people come here looking for yuri and only yuri

And that's the whole reason I started this. WHY are people looking for yuri and only yuri?

Because...I'm not het and want to read romance stories I can relate to with people who are, at least on that level, like me. It's not really complicated.

Well I for instance am a straight male and enjoy reading yuri (and on the off chance yaoi as long as it's not NSFW)
You do not have to have the same sexual preference to enjoy literature. Would you stop reading a book because you found out there's a straight relationship in it?

Think about it: if people hate het manga, they're on the same level as real gay bashers (OKAY OKAY not as horrible as those cretins, but along the same basis.) A group of people hate a certain group of other people just because of the prevalence of a relationship that they don't agree upon

Wat.

Exactly what I said. "A group of people hate a certain group of other people just because of the prevalence of a relationship that they don't agree upon"
Sure, gay bashers may have other reasons (unethical, religious, no family, etc) but that's not the point
I'll say again, I'm not trying to insult anyone. I'm merely curious as to why they don't decide to read something that's not in their decided demographic.

last edited at Apr 11, 2018 9:03PM

Kururi
joined Aug 25, 2015

I don't hate het so I can't help you there, but maybe I can reason about shipping. Most yuri ships are with girls that are pretty implied to be into girls. And people build this image that they're gay (not necessarily canon at times). So it feels weird and wrong if you ship them with boys. There's also the fact that most people hate when you ship yuri or yaoi, calling you delusional, but they'll do the same crack shipping with her pairings. And just ship wars by itself.

About het itself, while I don't hate it, I avoid it unless the story is not about it and it's interesting. There are other reasons, of course, like yuri being cute, but in general tropes used in het bothers me.
I'll give an example. Last het romance I tried to watch was Ore Monogatari. And it was okay for most time, but it always feels weird how much the girl was irrelevant. Like, the guy was strong, gentle, brave while the girl was...cute. That's all they ever said about her.
Then came the episode that annoyed the most, when a side couple had a whole plot where the guy felt he had to climb a Christmas tree to get a star to the girl he likes and "win" her. Even on a supposed heartwarming story, there's this kind of sexist concept. Like, the girl was supposed to do nothing but being pretty, while the guy gets all the action.
So I avoid het, mostly because the girls are the characters I'm actually interested in, and most of the time they'll be pretty passive in these stories, be it aimed to men or women. Unless it's a harem where she literally becomes an object of lust.
I could maybe appreciate het with a more feminine boy and an assertive girl, but the story will always end up emphasing about how he needs to "man up".

Avatar_a24d1ef02fc0_128
joined May 24, 2015

Yes, this is a very touchy topic to some people. Past experiences lead to them negatively reacting to things they're uncomfortable with. I'm the same.
But if, say someone like me, one with no bad experiences on the topic, happened to hate het, what would be the reason?

GendoIkari Uploader
Tsuglenda
joined Aug 10, 2011

I AM THE WIZARD OF MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON MAGIC

Well, of all the replies I was expecting I certainly didn't expect this lol. Keep on topic, Gendo.

I do not like your topic.
THREAD here was given life too soon by >>1 in the bowels of his demon uterus. THREAD had not formulated yet the mind of topic. THREAD was born and the Hattoushin were assembled in Denmark to fight against the threat it posed mankind.

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Nezchan Moderator
Meiling%20bun%20150px
joined Jun 28, 2012

a lot of people come here looking for yuri and only yuri

And that's the whole reason I started this. WHY are people looking for yuri and only yuri?

Because...I'm not het and want to read romance stories I can relate to with people who are, at least on that level, like me. It's not really complicated.

Well I for instance am a straight male and enjoy reading yuri (and on the off chance yaoi as long as it's not NSFW)
You do not have to have the same sexual preference to enjoy literature. Would you stop reading a book because you found out there's a straight relationship in it?

So you ask why I look for "yuri and only yuri" and then shift the question to your preferences in your reply. That's not discussing in good faith.

I never once said you had to have the same sexual preference to enjoy literature and I'll thank you not to put those words in my mouth. I answered your question regarding my motivations specifically related to yuri.

Think about it: if people hate het manga, they're on the same level as real gay bashers (OKAY OKAY not as horrible as those cretins, but along the same basis.) A group of people hate a certain group of other people just because of the prevalence of a relationship that they don't agree upon

Wat.

Exactly what I said. "A group of people hate a certain group of other people just because of the prevalence of a relationship that they don't agree upon"
Sure, gay bashers may have other reasons (unethical, religious, no family, etc) but that's not the point

I think you're reaching incredibly far in order to paint people who don't want dudes in their yuri (particularly in a romantic context) as being some kind of extremists. It's a bad look and I don't recommend pursuing it further.

GendoIkari Uploader
Tsuglenda
joined Aug 10, 2011

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Img_0215
joined Jul 29, 2017

I’m tempted to say, “Het is tolerable between consenting adults, I suppose, but why do they have to be so public about it?” But that would just be me being facetious.

I certainly don’t hate het for itself, and I actually tend to like the “straight yuri ally” character type, but I like yuri as stories, and het in yuri tends to lead to several (to me) unpleasant developments, particularly:

  • Het cheating, mostly because I tend to dislike cheating stories generally.
  • Het as denial of same-sex attraction. I know too many people whose lives have been messed up to various extents by trying to be “normal” instead of being themselves.
  • Het as narrative cop-out, where the plot paints itself into a corner and then pulls a sudden het marriage out of nowhere to manufacture a sad/bittersweet/unhappy ending otherwise unjustified by the plot.

Sometimes het can be used very effectively in a yuri story (Takemiya Jin doesn’t use it much, but tends to do it well when she does, like she does most things). But a lot of times it’s like eating an orange and getting a sudden bite of lemon—lemons are fine in their place, but I’m eating an orange over here.

Kururi
joined Aug 25, 2015

Yes, this is a very touchy topic to some people. Past experiences lead to them negatively reacting to things they're uncomfortable with. I'm the same.
But if, say someone like me, one with no bad experiences on the topic, happened to hate het, what would be the reason?

If you have no bad experience in something, you have no reason to dislike it, so that probably doesn't exist.
I can tell you that there're people with purity fetish and think a girl is not pure anymore if she has sex with a guy, but don't care if she has sex with other girl.
That's still based on bad experiences, though. But instead of bad experiences in a genre, it's in life.

You won't get only one answer in this subject, anyway.

Steam%20picture%20eclipse
joined Jan 9, 2017

I personally dislike the gender stereotypes that het manga are expected to have, which is why I did like Usotsuki Lily and Yandere Kanojo, but disliked Love DNA XX. Seriously, they killed off all males, yet still manage to make a yaoi manga! Not that yaoi is intrinsically bad, but I do dislike how it was done in this case.
Also, I find it annoying when I go into a manga expecting yuri, but getting het. It's like going Trick-or-Treating, and a house gives you mint toothpaste, which you know you will never use, as you already have superior watermelon flavored toothpaste.

GendoIkari Uploader
Tsuglenda
joined Aug 10, 2011

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Nezchan Moderator
Meiling%20bun%20150px
joined Jun 28, 2012

And for the record, I have read het stuff that I really enjoy. Adachi's gentle sports romances, Usotsuki Lily (although the author kind of beat that to death), the really cute romance in Baby Steps, etc. So it's not like I have a complete aversion to het in the right context.

Nezchan Moderator
Meiling%20bun%20150px
joined Jun 28, 2012

GendolIkari is an inspiration to us all.

Avatar_a24d1ef02fc0_128
joined May 24, 2015

a lot of people come here looking for yuri and only yuri

And that's the whole reason I started this. WHY are people looking for yuri and only yuri?

Because...I'm not het and want to read romance stories I can relate to with people who are, at least on that level, like me. It's not really complicated.

Well I for instance am a straight male and enjoy reading yuri (and on the off chance yaoi as long as it's not NSFW)
You do not have to have the same sexual preference to enjoy literature. Would you stop reading a book because you found out there's a straight relationship in it?

So you ask why I look for "yuri and only yuri" and then shift the question to your preferences in your reply. That's not discussing in good faith.

I never once said you had to have the same sexual preference to enjoy literature and I'll thank you not to put those words in my mouth. I answered your question regarding my motivations specifically related to yuri.

I'm speaking from my preferences because they are from my perspective.
You literally said "want to read romance stories I can relate to with people who are, at least on that level, like me" is that not correct?

Think about it: if people hate het manga, they're on the same level as real gay bashers (OKAY OKAY not as horrible as those cretins, but along the same basis.) A group of people hate a certain group of other people just because of the prevalence of a relationship that they don't agree upon

Wat.

Exactly what I said. "A group of people hate a certain group of other people just because of the prevalence of a relationship that they don't agree upon"
Sure, gay bashers may have other reasons (unethical, religious, no family, etc) but that's not the point

I think you're reaching incredibly far in order to paint people who don't want dudes in their yuri (particularly in a romantic context) as being some kind of extremists. It's a bad look and I don't recommend pursuing it further.

I never tried to paint them as extremists. Whos putting words in someone else's mouth? What does "that's not the point" mean to you?
Also, why do you keep cutting out of my quote "I'm not trying to insult anyone"? Are you trying to paint me as something I'm not?

GendoIkari Uploader
Tsuglenda
joined Aug 10, 2011

GendolIkari is an inspiration to us all.

They say you can still see his headless body stalking through the night, and the muzzleflash of his thompson gun.

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Nezchan Moderator
Meiling%20bun%20150px
joined Jun 28, 2012

GendolIkari is an inspiration to us all.

They say you can still see his headless body stalking through the night, and the muzzleflash of his thompson gun.

Me, specifically?

Avatar_a24d1ef02fc0_128
joined May 24, 2015

Okay, I realized this topic was the wrong one to create on this website. All it created was hostility because of the background of each user being completely different.
It created misunderstandings, for which I apologise Nezchan. I suppose an online forum isn't the best place to have serious conversations

Avatar_a24d1ef02fc0_128
joined May 24, 2015

And GendolIkari, while trolling as a uploader is funny and all, it is not what this discussion was intended for

last edited at Apr 11, 2018 9:35PM

Avatar_a24d1ef02fc0_128
joined May 24, 2015

This is getting heated, which I did not mean for it to be. I suppose creating a discussion thread about something so broad on a platform where it could be misunderstood on so many levels
I suppose I should delete this before it gets out of hand. Sorry if I caused anyone stress

This topic has been locked.