Seemed to work to me, she wants more and the creepy is just icing on the cake.
Eh, the "yes" at the end doesn't seem to come from the girl, who was struggling and crying and refusing and ashamed throughout, but purely from the author's fantasy to make all the previous look consentual. It's kind of like, all the rest was nasty but adding one word at the end makes it all A-OK!
I dunno, I ain't feelin' it.