@Z. Long I've said that before and I;ll say it again, it's all due to the community part of Dynasty. Every single poster that was nice to me at one point or another made me stick around and come out here.

Agreed on both points. Well, we're moving towards more tolerance, which is good. I guess it's just the fact that the public awareness is yet to catch up regarding the trans issues.

@Alvis Well, I know it's not a great idea.. 50% of the doses seem to be doing much better now, finally survived a night without significant mood drops. It's just that I seem to sleep a bit more at nights (1 hour to 1,5 hours extra) and that I feel extremally unvigorously. Dunno about the sense of judgement, it might be a bit off.

But at the very least the nights are much better which is exactly what I've needed.

@Utoptia My ultimate anime OP, maybe because I've had lessons from all languages that it contains.

last edited at Aug 16, 2016 5:42AM

@ ciega

Not odd at all! When I accepted that I was gay I was the same. I wanted to read/see more about that subject. But there was hardly anything. Maybe a gay movie like every three months or so on TV - when you got lucky. There were some famous gay (male) authors but hardly any lesbian authors that I knew of. At that time exactly none ^^ So I know how you must have felt. Was really excited whenever I managed to snatch a gay book or a comic or the occasional movie...
Luckily nowadays... now that I have internet access and all... it's a lot easier (^_^)b

@ Galich

Well... I'm such a failure most of the time that me, caring about what others think, would probably get me depressed as well. ^^ So I mostly don't give a fuck as long as it doesn't affect others. I just like being happy too much (^_-)v
And sometimes I really am like some zombie, creeping around outside, hardly being able to keep my eyes open and/or walk straight, feeling dizzy and acting strange... I would never be able to leave the house on those days. But unfortunately I have to. So I usually just laugh about myself and about the way others might see me. It's kinda hilarious with a little distance... (^__^) And it makes me feel better too.

That comment your mother made does sound kinda reassuring... Not a bad start, I guess.

It's not all that interesting so no need to pay any special attention to that... ^^
I just wanted to clarify that I'm not all that different in real life.

No rainbow around my head – but big and dark circles around my eyes ;P

@ Blackkitty

Oh... Sociopaths and Psychopaths are fun! I love how they never think about the feelings of others. I also love how they do whatever the hell they want. But only in books, movies or TV shows... not in real life. I hate people behaving like that in real life ^^

Aww... you're sounding like my mom now ;) (Well... actually a lot of people tell me that... but aren't most lives kinda wasted anyway...?)
I've been slacking off my whole life! I don't even know how to do anything else...

Yeah, she does! She's a real special character dog ^^

I just can't watch stuff like that... There's this nice German word called „fremdschämen“ - that's what I feel whenever I see somebody else doing something really embarrassing – I feel the shame and embarrassment on their behalf ^^

(So now we got another mission.... unlocking your secret powers...) (¬‿¬)

My back hurts, building a PC is hard ;_;

Gah, don't feel like that. Considering yourself a failure is so meaningless, biased and pointless it can be best described as, how my mother puts it, an insult to your own intelligence.

Well, not taking oneself seriously is very healthy, especially if they are a bit different from the crowd.

At first I thought you meant being drunk, but then I remembered that you don't drink :P
Well, I can relate to the most parts. I need to go out, even if it's groceries, walks to use my energy and libraries. (Managed to block the queue for 25 minutes today >.> Guess my and librarians get along too well).

Acting strange? Pfft., everyone is! Especially on Dynasty.

Well, that comment did make me a less anxious, but it was even before I've discovered that I'm trans. Right now it's gonna be subtle hints I guess. Dunno what I'm more stressed about - my mother who panics all the time but is ridiculously understandive at times, or my father who is willing to roll with anything that he's given but never displays any emotion.

I liked the characteristic a lot, seemed very objective and fitting. A bit wacky, sure, but it fits you :P

What is it, Galich the cynic being more positive than Anon? It's more likely than one would think.

@CCL Everyone building their own PC gets my approval, and yea, it's a real bitch for your back.

So is reading and playing EU4.

Just don't do what I did and don't be too brutal to your CPU. I miss my first i5 >.>

Mandatory rebuilding or just an upgrade?

@ ChocolateCakeLover

Come here for a sec and let me give you a massage ;)

Getting the right parts for a perfect PC is hard. Putting it together is quite easy the way I see it...
Had to take mine apart recently after it suddenly stopped working. Now it's doing fine again (^_^)b

Are you building a new gaming PC...?

@CCL Everyone building their own PC gets my approval, and yea, it's a real bitch for your back.

So is reading and playing EU4.

My back must think I'm Hitler ;_;

Just don't do what I did and don't be too brutal to your CPU. I miss my first i5 >.>

I'm not even sure how to go too brutal on it D:

Mandatory rebuilding or just an upgrade?

First time not laptop thing D:

Always just got laptops because they were more convenient and I never had any money so couldn't get a decent PC to go with it.

@ ChocolateCakeLover

Come here for a sec and let me give you a massage ;)

I don't trust that wink D:

Getting the right parts for a perfect PC is hard. Putting it together is quite easy the way I see it...
Had to take mine apart recently after it suddenly stopped working. Now it's doing fine again (^_^)b

Are you building a new gaming PC...?

Finding the parts weren't too hard because I made someone else do it, putting it together is being a bitch because I could only get someone to do half of it :P

I am D:

@CCL It's really easy actually. Just drop it from a few cm on the motherboard, should kill your recently bought CPU with no problems.

Got myself a first laptop less than 4 months ago, always been a desktop user. Since this laptop is not for gaming by any chance, my best bet is logging on Steam on both my laptop and PC and playing from laptop. The delay is notable, but with games like EU4 it;s not a dealbreaker.

Lazy bastard. I always get the parts and build PCs on my own.

Actually, a few months ago my PC broke down and for my own amusement I'veinvited my friend so the both of us could try to fix it. After a few beers it took us more than 2 hours to notice that my disk's cooler was too big for the PC's case >.>

Good luck with the PC btw.

last edited at Aug 16, 2016 8:17AM

@Chocolate hey, that's quite something, buildling your own PC^^ good job, Choco! I'm no good with those and whenever I have problems with my laptop I just panic xD

hah, if you don't trust Anon, come to the good kitty, I will gladly give you an almost professional back massage^^ ... well, I know I should've been more consistent and actually finish my training.. but I still have the touch.

Oh right xD

I got like, most of the parts, then showed them someone who knows computers better than me, then they touched up the build. Pretty much everything was replaced, but still >_>

It's not been that good a job, it'll probably blow up when I turn it on Blackkitty D:

last edited at Aug 16, 2016 8:27AM

@Chocolate don't be modest!^^

@ ChocolateCakeLover

You little genius, you! ^^
Everything's easy when you can find other people to do all the work for you! (^_^)b
You're great! ;)
I love lazy people!

Blackkitty will totally give you a kinky „release“ massage! Don't trust her! ^^

@ Galich

No no no, you got that wrong. I'm just being realistic. I don't like an exaggerated opinion on yourself... - my brother is like that and I can't stand that! Acting like he's the smartest, most talented, most desired and generally above all. People like that are hard to deal with.
My sister is more modest but she still fails to see a lot of her shortcomings leading to her repeating the same mistakes over and over.
My mom used to get all defensive when criticism came up...
You gotta be realistic about yourself. Whether you like the truth or not. I know that I can do a lot of things. I know that I'm not dumb. But I also know that I'm wasting my life – just like Blackkitty said – I could do some things but I don't. That's a waste. And I fail to change that. And probably the worst thing about me – I'm still happy most of the time – as long as I can pay my bills I don't need any more... I just want my peace and quiet... That's why I'll probably never accomplish anything big in life...

Right, I was never once drunk (with alcohol) in my life ^^
But sometimes I get drunk from life itself ^^
Being drunk with joy because you've been listening to great music all day...
Being drunk from laughing too much...
Being happy drunk from sleep-deprivation (mostly right before you crash) ;)
Feeling high from too many orgasms in a row...
Or just feeling high because you're on a roll and good things keep happening to you...
That roaming around zombie part mostly happens after the crash... (^_^“)
When you climb too high you gotta crash at some point... T_T
Or it also happens when too many bad things keep happening all at once, or one after another, after another, after another.... turns me into a zombie as well...

That's why I love people here (^_^)b
We're all special in our own ways... I love that!

Subtle hints are a good start... That way you're not overwhelming them and they can slowly get used to the idea...
The way you describe them, your mom will probably be worried about you a lot.
But it's hard to deal with people that never show how they really feel... But as long as he'll remain supportive it's all good with your dad, I guess. They don't sound like the kind of people that would abandon their own child. So you can consider yourself lucky :)

last edited at Aug 16, 2016 8:55AM

@Anon they are not fun, at all xD

I just sound like her xD she is a strong and confident woman ^^ coping with life! and her stubborn daughter!
.. very convenient.. but I want to believe the opposite is equally possible.

yes, me too.. I guess when you are a shy person you can't just watch something embarrassing indifferently xD

hey, don't run away! we still have the first mission in progress!! but it sounds logical to combine both of them, they are equally time consuming^^

and I've read your post to Galich, sorry for that, but it was before the one for me... you are a paradoxical being, so having the dark circles and the rainbow colors in coexistence is totally within your powers^^ and you are actually a courageous person..

you know, the words blackkitty and kinky in one sentence always make me laugh a lot xD
but well, it could turn to a release massage without being kinky, it depends on the talent^^

@ChocolateCakeLover, half the fun of building a computer is all the research for what parts you need!

Like building a specialized computer to solve a certain problem, you gotta put a lot of time in it. I wanted to build a file server in a certain mini-ITX case (Node 304) so I had to find the right motherboard and the right PSU and the right RAM etc and plan out how everything would fit and how I would manage cables and where I would install FreeNAS etc etc. Was a long (and expensive) project but having like 12TB of network storage was worth it.

@Chocolate don't be modest!^^

I feel I was generous tbh D:

@ ChocolateCakeLover

You little genius, you! ^^
Everything's easy when you can find other people to do all the work for you! (^_^)b
You're great! ;)
I love lazy people!

Well I'm nothing if not lazy :o

Blackkitty will totally give you a kinky „release“ massage! Don't trust her! ^^

Oh God D:

*hides in corner ;_;

Right, I was never once drunk (with alcohol) in my life ^^

Weird, bu I know people like that

But sometimes I get drunk from life itself ^^

understandable

Being drunk with joy because you've been listening to great music all day...

I can get that

Being drunk from laughing too much...

Been there before

Being happy drunk from sleep-deprivation (mostly right before you crash) ;)

Way too often

Feeling high from too many orgasms in a row...

....

....

....

what o.o

you know, the words blackkitty and kinky in one sentence always make me laugh a lot xD
but well, it could turn to a release massage without being kinky, it depends on the talent^^

... D:

@ChocolateCakeLover, half the fun of building a computer is all the research for what parts you need!

Like building a specialized computer to solve a certain problem, you gotta put a lot of time in it. I wanted to build a file server in a certain mini-ITX case (Node 304) so I had to find the right motherboard and the right PSU and the right RAM etc and plan out how everything would fit and how I would manage cables and where I would install FreeNAS etc etc. Was a long (and expensive) project but having like 12TB of network storage was worth it.

I just want, like, a computer. Any computer. Just save me from this wired hell ;_;

last edited at Aug 16, 2016 10:05AM

I live in wired hell.

Anyone have things that they really can't stand seeing popping up everywhere but yet can't avoid it? it's starting to irk me how many times I see things that I have absolutely no desire to see at all; ie, the random SU posts that keep appearing on my dashboard (without bloody tags no less) and the 1000 and nth Re:zero fanart that pops out almost every single day on /r/anime...

And also, the amount of ppl whining about new TERA classes being gender and/or race locked is starting to get on my nerves; more so especially when everyone seems to have an irrational hatred for the Elins, which are actually rather cute to play as....

last edited at Aug 16, 2016 10:19AM

@ Kinkykitty

You gotta live with that new name now! ^^

(… I think we're starting to scare people...or weird them out maybe... me probably more than you, but still... o_O)
✌(◕‿-)✌

Oh, yes, they totally are! Watch those and tell me they are not funny:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6_fGdVpJ1U

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GIsExb5jJU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iRuYrs57cs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49j6_uk0g3k
But real life doesn't work that way... so only in art can I laugh about such beings ^^
Or maybe my kind of humor is just weird... ;)

We're slowly getting together all the missions we need to start playing the game of our life (^_-)b
A few more and we really need to start playing ^^

No need to be sorry! You can read all of those weird posts I wrote when you feel like it ;)
I'm too talkative again today... Maybe I should stop and get some sleep...
I'm courageous in admitting that I'm strange, maybe... ^^

And that's still kinky! Whether you mean it or not! You kinky little kitty, you! (◦’ںˉ◦)

@ Rina

Things I can't stand but are starting to pop up everywhere...?

Racism!
Irrational fear of strangers!
Homophobia!
Those little shitheads talking about "female propaganda“ all the time...
Trump!

Those "things“ were mostly there for a long time but it feels like it's getting worse again lately...

@Anon No no no, you got that wrong :P Not encouraging you to have an overblown opinion of self, but considering yourself a failure is futile and counterproductive.

I can see why you want to avoid having too high of self-esteem of yourself; but honestly, lowering opinion of self too much gets really exhausting both for yourself and others around you. I guess only moderation can be an answer, as it is with most things with life.

My mother is the same, throwing tantrums when the conversation isn't rolling in her favour. I've dedicated myself to trying to take criticism as productively as possible, although I still tend to take it very poorly when I'm angry.

I wouldn't say there's a thing like "wasting your life" as long as you're happy with it. It's just a matter of viewing things: if you think that the essence of life is having fun, helping others, getting a well paid job, schoolaring yourself, any combination of those etc.

You never know about accomplishing things in your life, that only depands on one's perspective. Being a great person or just being someone's hero isn't a goal or something you can plan 100%, but a right combination of time and effort. You just need to jump the wave when you see it.

Being drunk and high on life is definitely something positive. Suffering from crashes after a while is also completly natural as well. We just have to roll with the punches and wait for the good stuff to come.

Yup, we're the weird. I mean the great.
Everyone's a bit off in Dynasty Cafe, that's why the synergy is so good.

So I'm afraid. Well, I really don't know if telling them at all has a point for the next few years or so, guess I can just live with subtle hints all the time.

They wouldn't, I'm sure of it, it's just the matter of the fact that I really don't want them to worry, I'm much more relaxed than them, and that says a lot. Still, when the time comes, I'm fairly sure after minor turbulances it will be much smoother.

@Blackkitty Well, we can go with KinkyKitty. Okay, that sounds awful, I apologize.

@CCL Agreed with ZuljinRaynor here, researching stuff for building your PC is fun.

@Rina I can relate. I'm surprised I've never crushed my screen when reading other people's opinions, with time I've completly stopped to follow the news and browse social websites. I keep asking everyone what is happening since I like being updated on what's happening, but checking on my own is something I hate doing.

Edit: Darn it, Anon's beat me to it with KinkyKitty. Well, the other option sounds much more.. wrong.

last edited at Aug 16, 2016 10:35AM

Galich, world boss page opener.

@ ChocolateCakeLover

^_^
Maybe you'll get there as well at one point in life ;)
I hope you will... （*￣∇￣*）
.
..
…
But wait! Boy or girl?
'cause it's usually easier for girls...

@Utoptia I still remember the times when I had around 60 posts less than Anon. No one believed me back then when I said that I'd highjack this thread V:

Well, did the math at one point, less than 50 posts of mine are not from this thread. Still, I don't have any stats for page opening.

@Anon Your posts.. are sometimes kinky/dirty in their nature as well (¬‿¬)

last edited at Aug 16, 2016 10:56AM

OFF TOPIC

I'm so, so, so happy, Always Human is starting again. All hail walkingnorth, god bless yuri !