Being in a depressed state is something else from having a depression. Sumin had a depression. Seju did not. She's on a very good way to end up having a depression now and I think Sungji is the only one who can see it.

Why are you so sure about that Seju wasn't having a depression back then? Wasn't her family issue alone quite enough to put her into depressions.

I thought some would be interested on seeing how both of them deal with problems:

http://imgur.com/a/WDqrA

sia ue

I don't wanna spoil her since that girl apparently can't be spoiled too much. :'D

you never fail to amuse me XD

Being in a depressed state is something else from having a depression. Sumin had a depression. Seju did not. She's on a very good way to end up having a depression now and I think Sungji is the only one who can see it.

Why are you so sure about that Seju wasn't having a depression back then? Wasn't her family issue alone quite enough to put her into depressions.

She had no symptoms. She was thinking clearly, thinking about the future. She's showing symptoms now.

Izz
That's the thing though, we don't know how it happened and how much control she had over it, since all we know is that she was drunk and didn't even remember the night, that's my only problem with the cheating, they left it too vague, could easily go either way, it's why I suspect sometimes that there was going to have some plot twist somewhere, we see how much Seju loves Sumin and is dedicated, so if there's no plot twist, I suspect they left so vague because it would either be a plot hole or bad writing on how so easily Seju cheated, since we saw she can stay years alone waiting for Sumin.

Nora89
I would say it's not the topic itself, but how some people dare to use something serious like depression as an excuse.

And I always enjoyed the thread lol, it's fun~~, also, congratulations on having a waifu? lol

Es0teric
I agree, there's not much to discuss besides if they have/had it or not, and I would say most countries still have poor mental health awareness.

sia ue
I would say Seju was always on the brink of depression, but only Sumin was holding her back, you don't have a family like that without having some mental health problems.

Nora89
That image, I would say that Seju was always like that, and became so passive to Sumin like that, because she had to always deal with her family bullshit, knowing how they treat her, endure all Sumin throws at her must be easy.

Also, if you have interest you guys can use the old Off-Topic thread, just like in here the previous people who commented basically disappeared, so might as well use both, also welcome in the discord group, now that I think about it, I think I'm the only one left from the previous group. (T^T)

last edited at Jun 12, 2017 4:56PM

Es0teric
Sorry to hear that. I agree someone who didn't have a depression will never understand it. I never did, but I was diagnosed with anxiety 11 years ago so I understand more than people who never faced any kind of those issues. It took me 2 years to stand up and socialize again. I had to work on myself alone for most of the time because no one understood what I was going through and even though I'm ok now, it doesn't mean everything is fine. I just learned how to live with it and disconnect from panic that is a part of my every day life and will be at least until menopause...

Izz
That's the thing though, we don't know how it happened and how much control she had over it, since all we know is that she was drunk and didn't even remember the night, that's my only problem with the cheating, they left it too vague, could easily go either way, it's why I suspect sometimes that there was going to have some plot twist somewhere, we see how much Seju loves Sumin and is dedicated, so if there's no plot twist, I suspect they left so vague because it would either be a plot hole or bad writing on how so easily Seju cheated, since we saw she can stay years alone waiting for Sumin.

From what she told Sumin later on, it's clear to me she knew what she was doing. She said she did that out of insecurity because she felt like Sumin was ready to leave her any moment. She knows she made a mistake.

Thiaguinho-sama

about the bartender incident, I was discussing this issue previously with other readers, the thing is, if we assume that the story is not fully told.. and we haven't seen a crucial part of it yet, what will happen to Sumin if she knows! isn't easier to forgive this issue as it is now rather than discovering that the past 10 years were a misunderstanding all along?.
while it could help them fix their trust issues, it could on the other hand destroy Sumin who deals badly with guilt. In short, it will damage both of them more.. unless TG do some magic (which I think they are capable of btw.)
I never believed that what we saw is the whole thing.. hints are scattered everywhere.
does the story need to tackle this issue before it ends? probably not.

also, congratulations on having a waifu?

thanks, I wish you all the happiness with someone you love and loves you back.

That image, I would say that Seju was always like that, and became so passive to Sumin like that, because she had to always deal with her family bullshit, knowing how they treat her, endure all Sumin throws at her must be easy.

It shows also that Seju always has this attitude of taking responsibility, while Sumin admits her habit of shifting the blame.

last edited at Jun 12, 2017 5:06PM

Es0teric
Sorry to hear that. I agree someone who didn't have a depression will never understand it. I never did, but I was diagnosed with anxiety 11 years ago so I understand more than people who never faced any kind of those issues. It took me 2 years to stand up and socialize again. I had to work on myself alone for most of the time because no one understood what I was going through and even though I'm ok now, it doesn't mean everything is fine. I just learned how to live with it and disconnect from panic that is a part of my every day life and will be at least until menopause...

Mental disorder symptoms do overlap so you would definitely feel some similar issues. Glad to hear you are doing better than you were 2 years ago but yeah it never truly goes away. Management is the most important part, drugs are just there as a step ladder to reach that management level. Keep at it : )

From what she told Sumin later on, it's clear to me she knew what she was doing. She said she did that out of insecurity because she felt like Sumin was ready to leave her any moment. She knows she made a mistake.

Which means she didn't cheat on Sumin out of an anger as you said.

^
but wait, did Seju mean the drinking part or having sex with him, I wonder!

Izz
Or she was talking about getting drunk and what happened afterwards, even if she was too drunk to know and remember what she was doing, it was still her fault for getting drunk, that's what I'm talking about, we can't exactly pinpoit all facts, so it ends vague and still open to interpretation, I still believe that in the end it doesn't matter how or why, but the result, which is why we never got the whole picture.

Nora89
I don't think it would change that much, because in the end they're still stuck in a vicious cycle, without outside help I think Sumin would either not believe or ignore it, and Seju would still do nothing, at best it will make easier for them to become good friends,but that is almost already happening anyway thanks to Sungji, after so long I don't think the whole incident really matters anymore, because the damage was perpetuated for too long already, because they chose to continue like that.

thanks, I wish you happiness with someone you love and loves you back.

Haha, thanks, but I already accepted I'm basically Forever Alone. (TvT)

It shows also that Seju always has this attitude of taking responsibility, while Sumin admits her habit of shifting the blame.

I think Sumin knew deep down nothing was Seju fault, but since she was accepting all of it, things just got out of hand, since she didn't had the habit before, at least before their incident their relationship seemed to be perfect.

sia ue

Which means she didn't cheat on Sumin out of an anger as you said.

Which means in the end we'll never have a why or how, unless they give more on the cheating, we'll never get anywhere because it's just way too vague, people will interpret different depending on who they like, and their views on being drunk and cheating.

Nora89

^
but wait, did Seju mean the drinking part or having sex with him, I wonder!

We'll never know, cause fuck us, that's why! Dx

last edited at Jun 12, 2017 5:12PM

Es0teric
Sorry to hear that. I agree someone who didn't have a depression will never understand it. I never did, but I was diagnosed with anxiety 11 years ago so I understand more than people who never faced any kind of those issues. It took me 2 years to stand up and socialize again. I had to work on myself alone for most of the time because no one understood what I was going through and even though I'm ok now, it doesn't mean everything is fine. I just learned how to live with it and disconnect from panic that is a part of my every day life and will be at least until menopause...

Mental disorder symptoms do overlap so you would definitely feel some similar issues. Glad to hear you are doing better than you were 2 years ago but yeah it never truly goes away. Management is the most important part, drugs are just there as a step ladder to reach that management level. Keep at it : )

9 years ago ;) Diagnosed 11 years ago, took 2 years of therapy to go back to "normal" life and for the rest it's been every day challenge. I must say I'm very good now, most of my days are great. I took meds only for the first 3 years and not all of described ones. I've never took xanax or antidepressant. Only the one that was supposed to calm my nerves. Qigong and exercises did the magic.

Keep it up too! I wish you all best!

Insecurity and anger are not mutually exclusive.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/happiness-in-world/201001/how-manage-anger

"Anger that arises from insecurity is particularly efficient at destroying intimate relationships."

last edited at Jun 12, 2017 5:17PM

sia ue, Nora, Thiaguinho-sama
With 2 chapters left I don't think we'll see anything more about the cheating. Even TG can't remember if Seju was drinking a drink, beer or wine which is a hint that only the fact of cheating is important.

Izz
More like that the cheating broke their strained relationship is important, they talked too little about something so important, which in my opinion just shows that what matter is not so much the cheating, but that they broke up because of it, cheating was just the cause, the effect is what matter.

9 years ago ;) Diagnosed 11 years ago, took 2 years of therapy to go back to "normal" life and for the rest it's been every day challenge. I must say I'm very good now, most of my days are great. I took meds only for the first 3 years and not all of described ones. I've never took xanax or antidepressant. Only the one that was supposed to calm my nerves. Qigong and exercises did the magic.

Keep it up too! I wish you all best!

Ah sorry, i blame my inability to read in the morning ; )

Insecurity and anger are not mutually exclusive.

Insecurity and depression are not mutually exclusive either. Same goes for anger and depression. No?

Izz
More like that the cheating broke their strained relationship is important, they talked too little about something so important, which in my opinion just shows that what matter is not so much the cheating, but that they broke up because of it, cheating was just the cause, the effect is what matter.

That too. But I don't think they'll go back to it. Too much to deal with in just 2 chapters...

only in ch57, Seju knew that she failed to identify Sumin's inferiority complex.. only in ch72 I think Sumin was able to identify Seju's insecurity.

10 years ago, both of them expected the worse, Sumin expected that she wasn't enough and Seju would find a better person compared to her "too ordinary" self, on the other hand, Seju expected Sumin to hate her and leave her one day. Those two things collided together within the bartender incident.. as if both of them saw what they expected becoming a reality. Their main issue wasn't only lack of communication, but that they loved each other so much but didn't believe in each other just enough.

Izz
At best they would show after the story ended, just to kick us in the face, showing that all the suffering was kind of meaningless, since it was neither fault, unlikely of course lol, it was just a plot device, they didn't had any other way to really break their relationship and suffer so long otherwise.

Nora89

only in ch57, Seju knew that she failed to identify Sumin's inferiority complex.. only in ch72 I think Sumin was able to identify Seju's insecurity.

10 years ago, both of them expected the worse, Sumin expected that she wasn't enough and Seju would find a better person compared to her "too ordinary" self, on the other hand, Seju expected Sumin to hate her and leave her one day. Those two things collided together within the bartender incident.. as if both of them saw what they expected becoming a reality. Their main issue wasn't only lack of communication, but that they loved each other so much but didn't believe in each other just enough.

Yeah, there was definitely more than just Seju family, Sumin parents dying, and the cheating, there was already some problems there.

Insecurity and anger are not mutually exclusive.

Insecurity and depression are not mutually exclusive either. Same goes for anger and depression. No?

Insecurity and anger can come from depression but having them does not mean you have depression.

last edited at Jun 12, 2017 5:52PM

Does you thinking clearly about the future mean you have no depression?

Does you thinking clearly about the future mean you have no depression?

I can't think clearly of the future.

To quote another person with Depression "Depression is the inability to construct or envision a future."

last edited at Jun 13, 2017 4:29AM