@Azai:
Been wanting to ask that for a while now: what are you actually specializing in? Also, how long did you need to study until now? (I'm assuming you being responsible for patients in a few months means you're about to get your PhD?)

Just threatened that I'd call the cops on her and she finally left. Gawd. 3 months! It was 3 months. And that was almost 7 years ago! How fucked up in the head can a person be? >_<

omg!!! she's worse than those guys I've known for like 3 years and are still all clingy or say they like me!!! O_O
actually she's boss level compared to those.

I'm just hoping she really stays away, because I have literally nobody to protect me at the moment. My brother is a complete and utter mess cause of his divorce, Su is in hospital and the cops won't do anything here unless something actually happens, that prove that she's dangerous. They don't usually react to people simply coming to them and asking for protection when they feel threatened by someone. Usually, they'll just turn you away and tell you to come back when you actually got something real. Now, I haven't seen her for 7 years. I was surprised enough that she even recognized me. And now she knows where I live. I won't lie, I'm actually really scared at the moment. Like...really fucking scared. Remember how I once said, that I just freeze up and do nothing when I get physically threatened? Worst case scenario is she's actually gonna stalk me and assault me when I'm alone and do stuff I don't even wanna think about and I probably won't do anything to defend myself.

omg!! buy pepper spray or sth! >.< can't you tell the police to like keep an eye on her or something? isn't harassment a valid issue to call the police!? >.<

By the way, Lin, I have written a reply to what you told me yesterday but it's a bit long... >.> I tried to condense it only went down to 1100 words... Just tell me when you feel like reading it because I don't want to just randomly post it; I don't really wanna trouble you... But you tell me things no one has ever told me before and I have actually seen three psychologists during secondary/high school

Sorry, but at the moment, I'm a bit too busy trying to keep my own mind in line, so I'll take a rain check on that.
That aside though, at the moment, just don't worry about me analyzing you. One question you need to answer for yourself is this: do you think you have issues you need to sort out or can you go on living just fine with them? Until now, I haven't been able to grasp what you think about that. It seems that until now, you've been busy correcting me and giving me more info to get to better conclusions, which is helpful, but not essentially the point of what you should worry about. :-)

Thank you :), I'm not sure whether I have issues... I do find myself getting lonely easily and having some weird phases and I can be overly sensitive. I tend to get really attached to someone when I have a crush on but I can't exactly tell how much is too much... I recognize past things I did/felt that were dumb though.I also have some sort of weird block and I can't work properly and it actually affecting me kind of badly in college and I can't brush it off because I'm supposed to be able to do this for a living one day and I want to be successful...

@Azai:
Been wanting to ask that for a while now: what are you actually specializing in? Also, how long did you need to study until now? (I'm assuming you being responsible for patients in a few months means you're about to get your PhD?)

omg is that why doctors are automatically doctors?! O_O

Lin

If your ex didn't know where you lived before and now she does, chances are you meeting your ex might not be a coincidence. She might've been stalking you for quite sometime. But Imhope she's not that crazy and was just drunk or high this time and won't come back to bother you again. Be careful, and stay alert on your surroundings, if you feel danger, just run! ><

Martian you're still here!

dofudofud

A bit of that fear is probably good thing to keep you vigilant :)

Also making mistakes with women doesn't seem like such a bad thing until you realize oh shit I really hurt someone. Part of the main reason why all my flirting is verbal now. Well that and kanojo lol.

Yeah, don't worry. I usually keep that fear in check. It's just that sometimes the more I study, the more I see I still have a lot to learn. Knowing that it may be the difference between life and death for a person doesn't help at all, but it definitely work as a motivation to learn.

And regarding woman, well, I already hurt one. And I don't intend to do that again, at least not like that. I may hurt someone again, but I hope it won't be intentional.

elthundercat
I'm a intern about to graduate. And believe me, patient-doctor play isn't something I'm into. I just remember my gynecology stay and it's just a turn off xD

Lin
I have studied 6 years. I think the system varies from countries, but upon completing the medical course, I get my MD, which allows me to practice medicine. I'm still not really sure about my specialization yet, but it will be either intensive care, emergency medicine or anesthesiology.

omg!! buy pepper spray or sth! >.<

That won't do anything. I have this...weird mental block going on whenever I even think about attacking someone. I just start trembling, like my entire body is shivering and then I freeze. And that's it. That's why my friend was able to lock me in that room all those years ago, that's why I ended up in hospital for 2 weeks after that girl, who was considerably smaller than me, beat me up in that alley once. I just don't defend myself for some reason. I've seen some psych docs to help me, but they could never find out what's actually wrong with me. They all said it might actually be a physical and not a mental reaction, since there is literally nothing in my past or in my life in general, which would explain this trait. 7shrugs/ I guess I'm just a born omega bottom. I'd probably rather let someone actually kill me than defend myself.

can't you tell the police to like keep an eye on her or something? isn't harassment a valid issue to call the police!? >.<

Not in Berlin. There isn't enough police in the city to begin with and they have their hands full dealing with a truckload of things. They usually don't act until something actually happened.

Martian you're still here!

Yes! Haha

Martian i googled Indonesian people pictures and saw some very interesting photos of Indoneasians. I even saw a picture of two almost naked butts staring at me too.

last edited at Apr 16, 2016 5:54PM

@Azai:
Anesthesist would be more of a lab job though, right?

@Martian:

She might've been stalking you for quite sometime.

No, she just googled me and that's how she found out where I live. I actually asked her at the door about that. See, if you know my last name, which she does, and you google me, you'd be directed to my business website, which will give you my business Email and my business phone number as well as my assistant's biz Email and number. Now, she's not stupid. Instead of calling me, she called my assistant, told her she was an old friend who wanted to surprise me, so my assistant told her where I live. =_= She's a klutz like that. And now I'm paying the price for it.

Martian which city are you from? Bali?
The clothes are very bright and colorful. How pretty!

Lin

Anesthesist would be more of a lab job though, right?

Not exactly. There's a branch of anesthesiology that works in intensive care units too. I would also aim for that.

last edited at Apr 16, 2016 6:00PM

omg!! buy pepper spray or sth! >.<

That won't do anything. I have this...weird mental block going on whenever I even think about attacking someone. I just start trembling, like my entire body is shivering and then I freeze. And that's it. That's why my friend was able to lock me in that room all those years ago, that's why I ended up in hospital for 2 weeks after that girl, who was considerably smaller than me, beat me up in that alley once. I just don't defend myself for some reason. I've seen some psych docs to help me, but they could never find out what's actually wrong with me. They all said it might actually be a physical and not a mental reaction, since there is literally nothing in my past or in my life in general, which would explain this trait. 7shrugs/ I guess I'm just a born omega bottom. I'd probably rather let someone actually kill me than defend myself.

physical reaction? likeeee... when someone claps in front of your face and you blink?
To be honest, attacking someone makes me uncomfortable as well but I have never been in a situation where I had to so... well I did once push a guy who was trying to pull me out of the elevator and I did feel like I'd be ready to do more if he didn't let me go... But um, you loved that girl didn't you? I guess it's really hard to hurt someone you like '-'

can't you tell the police to like keep an eye on her or something? isn't harassment a valid issue to call the police!? >.<

Not in Berlin. There isn't enough police in the city to begin with and they have their hands full dealing with a truckload of things. They usually don't act until something actually happened.

that's really bad!! :< maybe that's the problem to begin with!! >.<

Martian i googled Indonesian people pictures and saw some very interesting photos of Indoneasians. I even saw a picture of two almost naked butts staring at me too.

What kind of pictures? Hahaha I didn't know you're a butt person mvl xD

Martian which city are you from? Bali?
The clothes are very bright and colorful. How pretty!

I'm from a less well known city compared to Bali, that's located only a few hours away from the Philippines ;D
I don't know which clothes you're looking at, but we have a lot of different traditional clothings here xD

Lin

Glad to know that she's not actually that crazy. Well, that's the scary part of the internet, you're never safe once your information's out there. You better tell your assistant to never give any info to just anyone before asking your permission, if that's possible. Hopefully the "Return of the Exes" episode won't continue xD

Martian i googled Indonesian people pictures and saw some very interesting photos of Indoneasians. I even saw a picture of two almost naked butts staring at me too.

What kind of pictures? Hahaha I didn't know you're a butt person mvl xD

No i'm not a butts person. It's like looking at worms and caterpillers. Well i don't mind looking at my special someone's butts but strangers' butts are like bugs to me.

Martian which city are you from? Bali?
The clothes are very bright and colorful. How pretty!

I'm from a less well known city compared to Bali, that's located only a few hours away from the Philippines ;D
I don't know which clothes you're looking at, but we have a lot of different traditional clothings here xD

I googled images and just a lot came. Yeah i saw a lot of traditional clothes. I was so excited to talk about what i found with you! Hehehe. Learning about other cultures is interesting and exciting.

A bit of that fear is probably good thing to keep you vigilant :)

Also making mistakes with women doesn't seem like such a bad thing until you realize oh shit I really hurt someone. Part of the main reason why all my flirting is verbal now. Well that and kanojo lol.

Yeah, don't worry. I usually keep that fear in check. It's just that sometimes the more I study, the more I see I still have a lot to learn.

That's a very normal thing when you're learning. The more familiar you become with your field, the more realize how vast it is. I studied mathematics, where it's definitely a case of "the more you learn, the less knowledgeable you feel," you realize how big your world is, but you can't learn fast enough to keep up.

Knowing that it may be the difference between life and death for a person doesn't help at all, but it definitely work as a motivation to learn.

I have faith in you, pervy understudy :) Work hard and you'll do great.

And regarding woman, well, I already hurt one. And I don't intend to do that again, at least not like that. I may hurt someone again, but I hope it won't be intentional.

Yeah that's also something you can't fuss too much thinking about. Go about your pervy ways and one day someone will come around and make you behave :P. Kanojo claims I was like a timid puppy when we first met -_- shame upon the pervy name.

@Azai:

I see! Oh, I have another question. When Su and I went to that one appointment with her doctor and talked about the transplantation, he told us that she's lucky to get it in Germany, since we have technology, which can at least keep a heart alive for a very long time (something to do with the heart apparently having its own nervous center and thus not being necessarily dependent on the brain, I think) and apparently, there are a huge number of other countries, where this wouldn't be possible, since they could keep a heart alive for maybe 12 hours or a day at the absolute max. Do you know if there's a reason why the medical researchers of the world don't work together for things like that at least? I mean, if one country has developed technology, that could potentially save a lot of lives, why wouldn't they share their findings? Do you think money would be the only reason or is there more behind it? Sorry if I'm bothering you, I'm just really curious about things like. And having someone from the field to talk to is more reliable than google sometimes. ^_^

A bit of that fear is probably good thing to keep you vigilant :)

Also making mistakes with women doesn't seem like such a bad thing until you realize oh shit I really hurt someone. Part of the main reason why all my flirting is verbal now. Well that and kanojo lol.

Yeah, don't worry. I usually keep that fear in check. It's just that sometimes the more I study, the more I see I still have a lot to learn.

That's a very normal thing when you're learning. The more familiar you become with your field, the more realize how vast it is. I studied mathematics, where it's definitely a case of "the more you learn, the less knowledgeable you feel," you realize how big your world is, but you can't learn fast enough to keep up.

Yeah it happens to me too T_T and this is one of the reasons I have this block. But omg now that I thought about mathematics, those really seem like they have so many facets it'd be impossible to learn them all! Sound very stressful indeed >.>

But um, you loved that girl didn't you? I guess it's really hard to hurt someone you like '-'

Who exactly are you referring to? The freaky ex? I wouldn't exactly call it love. I was into her. She was hot and nice and funny, so I just wanted to see if we could take things further. I actually never said the 3 magic words to her, so I guess for me we were just friends with benefits for a while. But I guess for her, I was a huuuuge deal. o_o;

Lin

Hopefully the "Return of the Exes" episode won't continue xD

Like I said, since Su and my brother are out of commission for a bit, I actually wouldn't mind at all if Lucy suddenly popped up outta nowhere. She's a mountain. She could protect me. Dx
Geez, I sound pathetic. But I actually am legitimately pissing my pants...

But um, you loved that girl didn't you? I guess it's really hard to hurt someone you like '-'

Who exactly are you referring to? The freaky ex? I wouldn't exactly call it love. I was into her. She was hot and nice and funny, so I just wanted to see if we could take things further. I actually never said the 3 magic words to her, so I guess for me we were just friends with benefits for a while. But I guess for her, I was a huuuuge deal. o_o;

no no no no, not that one XD I meant the one that locked you up in the room!

No i'm not a butts person. It's like looking at worms and caterpillers. Well i don't mind looking at my special someone's butts but strangers' butts are like bugs to me.

Why worms and caterpillers? Haha that's a first, comparing butts to bug xD

I googled images and just a lot came. Yeah i saw a lot of traditional clothes. I was so excited to talk about what i found with you! Hehehe. Learning about other cultures is interesting and exciting.

Learning about other cultures is interesting and also fun xD
Do you like learning about cultures mvl?

Like I said, since Su and my brother are out of commission for a bit, I actually wouldn't mind at all if Lucy suddenly popped up outta nowhere. She's a mountain. She could protect me. Dx
Geez, I sound pathetic. But I actually am legitimately pissing my pants...

You're already a giant, and Lucy is a mountain? I'm imagining her being a huge mountain like Dolf Lundgren? o_o...and you're not pathetic.it's normal to want to have someone to protect you after an incident like that. It's freakin' horrifying.

last edited at Apr 16, 2016 6:31PM

No i'm not a butts person. It's like looking at worms and caterpillers. Well i don't mind looking at my special someone's butts but strangers' butts are like bugs to me.

Why worms and caterpillers? Haha that's a first, comparing butts to bug xD

Many of us when you see bugs, worms or caterpillers you would want to run away. When i saw those butts i quickly moved down to other pictures. That is why i compared those butts to bugs. They're not my favorite body part.

I googled images and just a lot came. Yeah i saw a lot of traditional clothes. I was so excited to talk about what i found with you! Hehehe. Learning about other cultures is interesting and exciting.

Learning about other cultures is interesting and also fun xD
Do you like learning about cultures mvl?

I don't spend every day learning and researching about different cultures but i like learning making friends with people from different parts of the world and learn about their cultures.

Martian i googled Indonesian people pictures and saw some very interesting photos of Indoneasians. I even saw a picture of two almost naked butts staring at me too.

What kind of pictures? Hahaha I didn't know you're a butt person mvl xD

No i'm not a butts person. It's like looking at worms and caterpillers. Well i don't mind looking at my special someone's butts but strangers' butts are like bugs to me.

Yeah, same. But like I must see their full body just seeing one part is like -.- it's like when guys send pictures of their penis; though no one has sent me a picture of only their penis before >.> at least it wasn't erect -.-

last edited at Apr 16, 2016 6:32PM

btw, if you have song recommendations I'm interested!!

Fay, I've had Cheap Thrills stuck in my head for an age now https://youtu.be/31crA53Dgu0

Azai, yes yes I know, #TeamShameless, #BottomPride, haha