Faylicia
Thank god you understood it. It stressed me out.
And about Brazil, the beaches are indeed great, very good to chill and all. I'm not really into food actually - like I'm the worst cook ever (get me to cook something, I will either kill someone or explode a kitchen) -, so I'm not really the best person to talk about it (maybe Thiaguinho-sama can help here). Besides, being raised in a Japanese family made me fond to Japanese food. It was kind of tough growing up in Brazil but being born in a Japanese family. Both cultures are waaay to different. So I had to learn to adapt very early, but that in the end was very useful.

GraciousLlama
You can send me bitch slaps then. It will do the job, they hurt the same xD.

mvl89
You flatter me. Don't do it. You will boost my already-insufflated ego. Also, I've noticed you like Seju. Does that mean you're our newest recruit?

Yes i really really like Seju. I don't want her to sleep with Nami. I would like to ask Merlin to bring Seju to life if possible lol.

dofudofu
Did you see my yaoi suggestions? And why maybe ex-girlfriend? What happened? And didn't you say she was trying to get other woman? I remember you said something about her but not sure what it was.

mvl89
I don't know, it might be good for Seju to sleep with Nami, she has a lot of stress, maybe after some sex she wouldn't look so psycho anymore.

Did you see my yaoi suggestions? And why maybe ex-girlfriend? What happened? And didn't you say she was trying to get other woman? I remember you said something about her but not sure what it was.

Yes, I did, I'll check them out thanks :) And she's had me on ice (like she says we're on a break, whatever that is) for almost 3 months. She caught me off guard by proposing and saying we should move in together when she got a new job here (she used to live about 1.5 hours away), and I said no. I didn't actually think it would be a big deal; I was wrong.

dofudofu
Well... I don't know much about relationship, but from what I know unless you give really good reasons and talk a lot about the issue, then you will have problems for not wanting to live together, that is almost always a really big deal...

But in those three months, did she do anything with other woman? Cause if she did, well, would it even be worth to go back? I mean, did you two agree on maybe seeing other people in this time or something like that?

last edited at Apr 2, 2016 7:39PM

Alright I've lost track of how many pages happened while I was away. But I got back and you're all making out with each other lol. It's cute; I'd watch that. I saw the words tuna and lasagna next to each other, which should not exist unless it's a euphemism for some sort of fantastic layered lesbian orgy that's going to happen at the end of this story. It's been a rough day, so I'm going to go decompress a bit. Have a nice evening (or whatever), my cinnamon rolls (yeah, pretty much all of you ;*).

It exists! and it's disgusting! btw... don't you mean making up?

Girl, I swear you do this on purpose.

No I meant make out lol. Again, sarcasm.

Darn it! You just ran away. It has been fun. Why don't you join too? With your experience everyone would get to see many stars....

Lol I can chat a bit, I'm just tired. Spent most of the day helping my girlfriend/possibly-ex move into her new apartment, and she's still not talking to me haha. Whoever thought understanding women would be easier if you are one, has never dated one. You'd be tired too.

It must been tough for you. Women are tough to understand lol. Well, i have not been in your situation so i don't know. My motto is don't date. It is too much to handle. Understanding one another emotionally is just not easy. I rather try to solve a math problem than a relationship problem. Good luck to you. Hopefully you and girlfriend can work something out.

I told her I wanted to live together before thinking about marriage, but the two at the same time seemed like way too much for me. She didn't like that and went ahead and found her own place. She said we could see other people, but I don't think she's seen anybody else and neither have I, so we're just in limbo at the moment. She's a pretty relaxed person aside from thinking about her future, which I guess is the trouble. I figure I'll just put up with whatever she throws at me for awhile, and she'll remember that we have something good. Anywayyy...

last edited at Apr 2, 2016 7:52PM

dofudofu
I see, well, I think that first of all you need to confirm if she did see other people or not, now, I think you two should have talked more about it, I do agree that both is a little too much, but I guess she didn't want to talk much about it and decide to move by herself? You love her? Cause I'm assuming she's the type who likes to take action without talking with her partner because she believes they want the same, so if you don't talk with her very well that will only cause problems later, thinking about the future is not bad, but you must make it clear that you two need to do together, that both need to decide what to do, if she didn't find a new place already you should have tried to live together again, is her place better for you? Maybe you could move instead, if you want to continue the relationship you do have a good amount of options to make it work, you just need to make sure that the decisions can't be made all by her, unless you don't mind that most of the time, so maybe just tell her to ask you first to confirm if you agree or something like that.

Did any of what I said made sense? I mean, I do have some notion of relationships from various sources, same for how people tend to act since I like to observe others, but I never had a relationship so I might say something that is not useful...

Forgot to say, she reacted like that because she's probably very serious about the relationship and thought that was the logical conclusion, she probably didn't thought it was possible you would refuse at all, so she's probably more hurt about that than you imagine, now the question is if she will have a grudge because of that or not, because that can easily ruin the relationship, some people don't take well this kind of rejection.

last edited at Apr 2, 2016 7:58PM

dofudofu
why is it sarcastic? did you mean we were fighting then?
Also I hope you make up with your girlfriend ;_; I understand you. I think a relationship has a lot of stages and if you go to the next one it's not like you can go to the previous one. I'm sure there's something exciting about living in separate houses and missing her and meeting her and all that and also the experience of living alone... But maybe she took that as in you not being serious about her O|||O... It's hard, I don't know how I would take it, I don't think I'd want to move in with my partner before I'm 25. But if I was saaaay 27 and I asked them to and the said no I'd be a bit worried myself. Did you explain her your reasons?
Also with this guy I'm kind of like -.- he said he'd stop the sexual comments but he wants to talk to me daily which I might consider clingy and he asked me not to get annoyed about it... last time I told him I was busy and he kept asking me 3 times after like an hour and then said he'd try later again which made me mad because like if I was not busy I'd obviously be the one to call. Him saying he'd try again sounds awfully clingy and he's not my bf and I don't even have any sort of romantic/flirty-sort-of-relationship with him.

last edited at Apr 2, 2016 8:00PM

I told her I wanted to live together before thinking about marriage, but the two at the same time seemed like way too much for me. She didn't like that and went ahead and found her own place. She said we could see other people, but I don't think she's seen anybody else and neither have I, so we're just in limbo at the moment. She's a pretty relaxed person aside from thinking about her future, which I guess is the trouble. I figure I'll just put up with whatever she throws at me for awhile, and she'll remember that we have something good. Anywayyy...

Hang in there. Starting a new relationship is also not easy. A new love does not always mean a better love. I think you made a good decision by being good to her until the very end. At least you won't regret if you already have tried your best.

Did any of what I said made sense? I mean, I do have some notion of relationships from various sources, same for how people tend to act since I like to observe others, but I never had a relationship so I might say something that is not useful...

Lol you're like Maki from Bloom Into You :P

We've still talked since the break, but not about whether she wants to get back together. She basically told me she was really surprised that we weren't on the same page, because she knows how much I love her (Asian conservatism makes it a little hard to gush to you guys and PDA and things like that). I think I killed the mood for the moving in thing at least for awhile, but her new apartment was not-so-subtly enormous (rich girls lol...).

Also Faylicia, that seems like a totally worthless person to have in your life. And sarcasm was the wrong word. I was joking around. You guys were complimenting each other a lot and I thought it was cute.

last edited at Apr 2, 2016 8:09PM

Faylicia
Well, since he keep doind sexual comments or flirting even after you said to stop, I think it is for the better if you stop being his friend, as for the clingy part, well, I know what you mean, but in my case I am the clingy guy, though in my case I don't think I did anything to disrespect her like you friend did, we're very open to communication, so besides me being a little clingy or impatient I don't think we have any problems, though it's being some days since we don't talk and she's offline too... Anyway! In your case at least I don't think the problem is him being clingy itself, but that he's not hearing what you say, there's no communication between you two, so it might be for the better to finish this supposed friendship, especially because if he insist on sexual jokes and flirting it might be because he's trying to be more than friends and ignoring that you asked for him to stop, though even if it's not the case, the fact that he whined as if you're the problem already shows he's probably not worth to keep as friend, at least I know I'm the problem instead of my friend.

dofudofu
I see, so since you two still talked with each other I guess we can assume she didn't see other people, she wouldn't continue to talk so much if she was I guess, it's good to confirm anyway, since you two are meeting in person I really suggest to sit down and talk with her to make up, especially if she knows you do love her, my recommendation is to take things slowly for a month or two, and if you don't have problems with it maybe you move to her apartment if you don't have anything against it, because that might make it more than clear that you are indeed invested in this relationship, but you need to make it very clear that you're not ready for marriage yet, you need to tell her where you think you two stand right now.

Lack of communication is the worst thing for a relationship, sometimes it is really hard to talk about something with your partner, but you need to do it, the more you wait the worst, the fact that you two are not in the same page is already a sign that you two didn't have enough communication, but since she knows how much you love her you two can easily fix any issue if you sit down and just fucking talk about it, a lot of people think that the mouth is the origin of all evil, it's the opposite, it's misunderstandings and lack of communication that are, you two already lost almost three months in this, so I think it's time that you two talk about this issue before things get more difficult.

Did I help? If you need to talk more you just need to call, I'm always here to help anyone if they want, I like to help~~, though maybe it would be better to do in a more private place if that happened, not good to tell about your life in public places.

About the mouth being origin of all evil, I'm actually not sure how it is in other languages, if they use root instead of origin and if they use problems or disaster instead of evil, but I hope you all get what I mean.

last edited at Apr 2, 2016 8:22PM

She said she'd come over for hotpot tomorrow so we'll talk soon. I got into trouble today which is probably why we didn't hash it out earlier (I'm horny, she's sexy). I'm not giving any detail I'm uncomfortable with because I know this is public; so that might be the disparity in the amount of info you're getting. I appreciate the concern, but we'll sort it out ;) Or it won't and that's worse and we'll have to actually move on.

Well, by what you said, since you two still kept in touch with each other I do think she wants to sort it out, she wouldn't want to go there for hotpot if things were bad, maybe she just wanted a little time away to see how things would go between you two or to recover from you not accepting her proposal, all I can say is that you give me the impression that you two can really sort it out, so I hope you two are able to finally talk and fix this issue, you better tell me how things did go or when you two finally fix it, cause now I'm worried, don't leave me in this cliffhanger. (ToT)

last edited at Apr 2, 2016 8:31PM

you better tell me how things did go or when you two finally fix it, cause now I'm worried, don't leave me in this cliffhanger. (ToT)

Lol, I am not a manga :P

Thiaguinho-sama
I got mad that day because he did other clingy things in the past too and sometimes I say I'm busy and he keeps calling and I keep hanging up like 3 times. and I have to go like "I'm busyyyy! I'm doing hw!!" you know... and he said he would stop the flirty attitude, he says he likes me but he doesn't want to be with me or be more than friends. He's also a skype friend so sometimes I don't really like being on skype or talking online all the time. I know I'm doing it right now, how hypocritical, but the holidays are not over yet :P Sometimes I just wanna go out and stuff or be left alone. I told him I can't promise him anything so he decides what he wants to do. Honestly I don't even know, I should be working right now... Oh, he said it's fine, yay! :P Nowwwww, I have to finish this design and start doing the actual drawings T_T, and this is where I get the fear that I will mess them up and I freeeezeeee. Sometimes I fear I might not be cut for this and maybe I should become a housewife instead ;_;
dofudofu
I totally get you. I think most people want to move in and get married afterwards. I think the same :) She seems a bit insecure (correct me if I'm wrong) but maybe you should just try to ease her and she might feel better and not feel like she needs to tie you down with the marriage in order for you to be with her...? or something?

dofudofu
Of course you're not a manga, when it comes to relationships real life is always better, so you better tell us all about how things are between you two, don't leave us imagining how things are. (T^T)

But seriously now, just want to know if everything is alright and you two will try again or if it's over, hope everything will go well. : /

last edited at Apr 2, 2016 8:33PM

Thiaguinho-sama Haha I'll let you know how it goes. She might be in a better mood if I feed her.

Faylicia Insecure is probably not accurate, but people are usually a bit different when it comes to their romantic relationships versus their social ones (or at least I am). As in, they can be confident in a lot of places in their life, and less so when it comes to the person they're with.

Okay gang, it's so early but I can't even keep my eyes open. Lol sorry to cut you off.

last edited at Apr 2, 2016 8:41PM

dofudofu
Of course you're not a manga, when it comes to relationships real life is always better, so you better tell us all about how things are between you two, don't leave us imagining how things are. (T^T)

But seriously now, just want to know if everything is alright and you two will try again or if it's over, hope everything will go well. : /

yeah I hope so too ;_;, it's always the most sad when two people who love each other break up. I don't want to see that T_T

Thiaguinho-sama Haha I'll let you know how it goes. She might be in a better mood if I feed her.

Faylicia Insecure is probably not accurate, but people are usually a bit different when it comes to their romantic relationships versus their social ones (or at least I am). As in, they can be confident in a lot of places in their life, and less so when it comes to the person they're with.

Okay gang, it's so early but I can't even keep my eyes open. Lol sorry to cut you off.

Make her crepes and tell her you love her? :) I think she might get the point maybe? I hope she doesss!!

Faylicia
I don't think it's hypocritical, just because you're online that doesn't mean you always need to talk with him, if you don't want to talk with him you shouldn't let him make you stay away of other things you can do online, if he's so bad that you feel it's easier to stay out of skype and other things then it's another sign that he might not be worth as friend, there is limits, since he said everything is fine now maybe you should give him another chance, but you better keep an eye on it because he might be better for a time and go back to his old ways later, as someone who sometimes can be pretty annoying I know from experience that it can be hard to lose some bad habits, so just in case be ready to end the friendship eventually, especially if later he whines again that you're the problem instead of him being clingy.

If my friend who I end up clinging sometimes read this I wonder if she would call me out on it, not that I'll find it any time soon since it's being days since I saw her online, maybe this time I really did it... (T^T)

And I have to agree with what you said to dofudofu, maybe she's just insecure about the relationship, not that she's an insecure person, that is not that uncommon, especially if in the past she had relationships that ended bad, so it might be just a case of easing her and reafirming your feelings and intentions to her, that can do wonders, that why I said to maybe you move to her apartment eventually if you can.

last edited at Apr 2, 2016 8:46PM

Faylicia
I don't think it's hypocritical, just because you're online that doesn't mean you always need to talk with him, if you don't want to talk with him you shouldn't let him make you stay away of other things you can do online, if he's so bad that you feel it's easier to stay out of skype and other things then it's another sign that he might not be worth as friend, there is limits, since he said everything is fine now maybe you should give him another chance, but you bette keep an eye on it because he might be better for a time and go back to his old ways later, as someone who sometimes can be pretty annoying I know from experience that it can be hard some bad habits, so just in case be ready to end the friendship eventually, especially if later he whines again that you're the problem instead of him being clingy.

If my friend who I end up clinging sometimes read this I wonder if she would call me out on it, not that I'll know any time soon since I didn't see her those last days... (T^T)

And I have to agree with what you said to dofudofu, maybe she's just insecure about the relationship, not that she's an insecure person, that is not that uncommon, especially if in the past she had relationships that ended bad, so it might be just a case of easing her and reafirming your feelings and intentions to her, that can do wonders, that why I said to maybe you move to her apartment eventually if you can.

Yes, I told him I won't give him guarantees and that I don't know what will happen :) I don't have much to lose I hope! ahaha I don't get my hopes up too much but maybe he will start being more down to earth.
Yeah that's what I meant! I'm not an insecure person in general either but sometimes in certain situations I can be and that includes when I like someone and I feel neglected. And for me usually something really simple would completely ease me, I think? well depends also I guess... but yeah...

So I'm trying to play catch up here, it's really so hard to leave this discussion because it moves so fast.
Haha mvl89 well I guess we should all just take a trip to Brazil!

And I noticed dofudofu and Thiaguinho arrived!

Thiaguinho-sama

I forgot to ask before, but did you notice that pages ago I talked about add me on facebook?

Sorry, I think I let that pass unnoticed! Even though I'm willing to share parts of my private life here, I'm not really comfortable to spread it open in Facebook. Sorry, man.

Faylicia
I agree that you're better off without that guy. And this is not about him being clingy. This is about him being (I wanted to insert some cursing here, but I'm not sure if I wouldn't offend you).

He had his flirty approach and you did great to establish his limits. Now he should respect that, but the fact that he complained about it... For me that's enough to get a grasp of his character. And besides, if he makes you uncomfortable, he's not worth your time. But that's my point of view. I'm not very tolerant to persistent men, specially those who I gave some sort of warning to stop whatever they are doing. However, I don't know how long you've been friends and your story with him. So I may sound unnecessary harsh here.

As you said, you can give him a chance to be less persistent about you. But like **Thiaguinho-sama ** pointed out, some people do go back to their old ways, so watch out. If you decide you don't want to be friends anymore and want to cut him out of your life, be honest with him and stand your ground. Really, just take care. Let someone close to you know about it too.

Faylicia
Heh, you quoted me while I edited my message, that's being happening lately, well as for your friend, you don't seen to care that much about him or see him as any more important than others, so I don't think you will lose anything, now if he really doesn't change, the problem would be what he could tell others if you decide to end the friendship, if he's so clingy he might get pretty bitter about it and talk bad about you behind your back, of course maybe you don't care, but depending on what he says it might turn into one of those bad gossips that turn ugly pretty fast, so if you do need to end iit up later it might be good to keep an eye a little if he don't start to spread bullshit about you.

As for being insecure, I don't know but I think that is normal fo most people, don't need to feel all the time or various times, but in a good relationship we basically take down all our defenses and open ourselves to our partners, so even if they don't show it I don't think there's anyone who wouldn't get insecue sometimes, especially when it's about big decisions like living together, at those times in particular that communication can be really important, because a misunderstanding can easily make things bad fast, especially if one says something in the heat of the moment, relationships and children are probably two of the most difficult things to do in life, but it sure can be worth the time, not that you need them to be happy though.