Forum › Selfish Fuzz and Pikapika-san discussion

joined Jul 9, 2021

Really vexed by this one, mostly because it can pretty easily be read as an unsettling commentary on the dynamics of abuse... until the final page which is tasteless to the nth degree.

The subtext here is that MC clearly has feelings for her friend that she's too status-obsessed to even begin to come to terms with. She's so desperate for the social attention that comes with acting older, and yet conflicted about leaving her youth behind, and possibly even subconsciously skeptical of the heteronormative beauty standards that she's happy to co-opt for the chance play the "adult". this comes to a breaking point when not only is she raped by an older man, but she literally lacks the maturity to comprehend what has happened to her. the only thing she can do to rationalize this is replicate her own traumatic experience and project it onto the one thing in her life that is keeping her tied to her past self. Her entire life just was altered irrevocably, and her only recourse psychologically is to bring the only "safe" thing in her life down to where she is-- in her mind she rationalizes this as the loss of virginity, but obviously the reality is that she's assaulting her best friend because *she literally has no concept of what sex is outside of her one experience being coerced and assaulted by an old older man.

The problem with this one-shot is that it's so dedicated to centering Hana's POV that Nozomi almost becomes completely lost in the framing. It's deeply disturbing to see a victim sidelined like this, and not in the same way that Hana's story is disturbing, because its a lack of focus that the author is ultimately culpable for. Her pain is clearly rendered in a realistic and upsetting way (unlike Hana, she's keenly aware of what's happening to her and how capital W Wrong it is) but then her emotional aftermath is completely ignored.

I have a strong suspicion that she also has deep feelings for her "friend" (note how she pointedly says she's never thought about having a "boyfriend", how she clings to her like a rock after what must have been the most horrifying and painful experience in her life). But all that is gone forever all because some guy realized how easily he could manipulate and assault this innocent high schooler.

...except that's not what comes through at all in the final page. neither of them are given any room to breathe or process their actions or experiences, and all we're given is some tasteless laughter in the aftermath of a horrific scene. i suspect that nozomi will have been effectively broken by the betrayal of her friend/crush, someone she trusted, but of course feelings don't die easily, and the only person she will be able to cling to will remain an apathetic Hana. Eventually both will come to terms with what happened to them (Nozomi will probably have to make those realizations on her own, maybe Hana's clique will try and talk to her about what they know out of concern). after that point its probably doubtful that they'll be able to maintain any functional relationship, Hana will have to live with what was done to her and the knowledge of how she destroyed Nozomi's life for as long as she lives, and who knows if Nozomi will ever be able to trust anyone again. Hana will probably start engaging in more risky behaviors to cope, and not a single person will be able to understand or help her, except for, unfortunately enough, Nozomi. If they do remain friends or more, it will likely devolve into something toxic or codependent.

But all this is just conjecture because the author cruelly decided to leave them both in this insulting, offensive way. To leave your story off at the most complicated point in any other context would merely be bad storytelling. but when you add an element as heavy and loaded with real-world ramifications as rape into the mix, THAT'S just irresponsible. and it didn't have to be that way, two or three more pages could have adequately contextualized what we just witnessed into something more respectful of the subject matter in spite of the unreliable POV. instead the lingering feeling i have is of having read something that is unfortunately well-observed but really and truly tasteless in execution.

Hikamaru%20(1)
joined Feb 5, 2020

This is one of rhe one-shots that always intrigued me. I wish it could be longer or multi-parted so we can see it more fleshed out and understand which direction characters are going.

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