I can understand Zhang's intention to getting a lavender marriage with a man.
Zhang cares deeply about her family, and that her grandma is her precious out of all.
With her grandma's health condition getting worse year by year, and Zhang's intention to get married may have something to do with
(1) a superstition saying that bringing a marriage to home will bring luck and also health to the old people
(2) her grandma's wish is to see Zhang marriage before she dies
Whatever Zhang intention is, in Chinese culture, those are the valid reasons most sexual minorities decided to repress their nature and get themselves married, which is sad but most of them were really like that..They can't just 'be themselves'..they will be shunned by the society, losing jobs, losing friends, losing $$..it's too much of a risk.
Though I admire Dai Yi's courage of her revealing her sexual orientation to her family at the very beginning.
But in reality, most people who acted out like Dai Yi to their family are mostly getting backlashed.
Some of their moms would even threatened to kill themselves so that their daughters/sons could 'get back to normal' and 'get married' and have kids.
Even though their children already have a same-sex partner.
They would berate the partner, threatened and even locked their children away from their partner so that their children would obey to them.
If you happened to be active in Weibo and see the young ones' confession about accidentally out of closet due to some unforeseen circumstances, you'll see most of their parents will be infuriate and threatened to cut off their financial support so that their children will 'go back to the right, heteronormative path'.
That being said...
If DaiYi could understand Ms. Zhang's intention, what would happen?
I wanted to know if DaiYi would get near to Ms Zhang. But if that happens, what will happened to both of them?
Since it's clear that Ms. Zhang got herself into the marriage because of her grandma..
In Weibo, when someone consults about their relationship affair about the other half decided to get married out of societal expectation, but said that her other half promises that she is still the one she loves, everyone in the comment berated the person back by saying:
"But you do know that, your other half decided to get married. Once the marriage is valid, it means there will only be one : they are husband and wife, and you? You're just a third wheel, or a 'mistress'."
So what will happen to both of them if they decided to be together?
I don't think Ms. Zhang will cancel the marriage just because of DaiYi.
Afterall, she gets married in the first place because of her beloved grandma..
It may be due to cultural differences that some don't understand why Ms.Zhang does that, and as a result, they find Ms. Zhang's decision to be quite a selfish act.
To be honest, at first, I don't understand too.
But with all the pressure and responsibility bringing to their shoulders.. unless the young-mid generation of their society believes that love has no boundaries and shouldn't' be based on genders, and decided to have a change about this, they will always end up and stuck to this infinite loop. There will always be someone who will end up getting hurt, either by being themselves, or losing something, like family or their loved ones, or conform to the societal expectation.
Basically it's like once they reach to a certain age, they are forced to pick and choose and throw away something in order to have the thing they consider the most important to their lives.
It's like the society is telling them -- You simply can't Have it All .
But most importantly is that, do their society want a change on this?
Or that they are absolutely fine to see some suffer, because to them, the importance of having population > love is what they should conform to, as it had always been?
But marriage is a complex issue. Most people are straight but they choose not to get married and have kids.
Yet they choose to blame the issue to the sexual minorities, who apparently get married and some even decided to have kids.
I don't quite get their logic at all.
They seem to just want to have solved the issue through a lazy manner by just pinpoint on the not so obvious.
Like instead of solving the obvious reasons why they aren't married and have kids, they go with
"Let's just blame on certain people because they are the ones that made the whole population go down."
"Let's just make these people feel bad for being who they are."
But, is that really the case?
I don't.. understand all of these anymore.
insert sad face
Whatever these two decided to go for and how they are dealing with their current issue, I'll root for them as a reader.
After all, the reality isn't.. giving much option for people to live however they want to live without possibly throwing something away..
I really do wish people live happily through finding ways of what they considered happiness..
But..
Sorry for the rant. I hope you all are doing fine and well.
Take care and have a good day.
last edited at Jul 9, 2024 11:03PM