So, here is another essay by yours truly about a topic that's been rolling about in my head for a while. I have also wondered what others have observed and thought of. Also, I capitalized the main words when I'm talking about the words themselves and not in relation to other things outside of a romantic relationship (i.e. not, "I love green beans" but instead, "I love Hottie McChan"). Also, I am discussing this within the context of mangas/animes and nothing outside of them though this topic was finally fired up in my brain by the recent Their Story release on the translator's page.

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So, I have always wondered this but, is it me or does the word LOVE get tossed around a lot and in a very nonchalant fashion? This goes for both het and yuri romances, I've only read a couple Yaoi but I have no clue how often love is used in that romance genre. To me, LOVE is a very hefty word to use especially in relation to other people, and especially so when it comes to romantic relationships. Often it seems that LIKE is completely overlooked and the same goes for INFATUATION which, in my honest opinion seems to get even fewer mentions than LIKE if ever.

More than half the time when I'm reading a romance, these two words are completely skipped over and the main/support character jumps immediately to LOVE and borderline obsession. To me, it looks like INFATUATION which is basically head over heels stupid mode (best illustrated in this scene from the movie Love & Sex) is actually being portrayed throughout most romances but is never touched upon. In fact, I'm beginning to suspect that I have yet to come across a romance where INFATUATION is actually discussed as is LIKING someone as well. Most conversations are as follows:

Best Friend-chan: "Do you love her?"
MC-chan: "I um... I DO LOVE HER!!?!?!"

Me: "Really?? You only met her literally 2 seconds ago and you love her? The hell?"

Granted, I tend to view things in a very different manner so this type of mindset is just really foreign to me. And I mean not foreign as in that's how people think in another country but just the thought processes behind it as I know people who are like that here in the States. Granted, I understand that sometimes the story must move along but it would be nice to see a progression through those stages and maybe some form of acknowledgement of them.

In the romances I have read in manga and seen portrayed in anime at the very least, I have almost always felt that LOVE was tossed around like candy at a 4th of July parade while also always being understood to have that serious weight of feelings behind it. However, its use is overused and I just feel like the word holds no actual meaning or weight to it. For example, why does a character almost always have to LOVE someone before they can go out with them and maybe why not fall in love with them after starting to date when they only LIKED them?

To me, it seems like these could add a lot more depth to pretty much, every romance story. The majority of the genre seems pretty stagnant with only a few really good stories here and there popping up as most seem to repeat the initial meeting moment and then quickly goes into one character crushing harder than the fist of an angry god. I am sure there are some exceptions out there but I have yet to find them. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy my romance stories, I just wish I would see these three words and the actions surrounding them, the internal debates swirling about in the character's head, and even a discussion with a friend or family member on the matter would be a nice change of pace for once ya know.

Anyhoo, those are more or less my thoughts on the matter summarized as best as I can :)

Thanks for reading!

Don't forget that fiction, especially romance is often highly idealised. Think of love at first sight or the red string of fate and how everything is always going to work out just fine. Think of shipping and how 99% of it focuses on the sweet, happy and cute.
People are trying to escape and that's okay. Reality kinda sucks.

There's also the fact that an awful lot of what you're seeing is short stories, especially in yuri. The author simply hasn't enough space to make a fully developed romance in those constraints, so often has to pare things down to the very basics, or at least use culturally-recognizable shorthand. Longer stories can be a lot more decompressed, but even then it takes a lot of space to give the nuance of a real-world romance so it doesn't happen much even with hetstuff. So often you jump straight to love.

Now here in the west, you've also got the added layer that we don't often use different terms for "like" and "love", with the former being more of a children or friends thing. So literally every romantic feeling gets called love, the only difference in degree is a difference in emphasis. Which doesn't necessarily come off well in print.

There's also the fact that an awful lot of what you're seeing is short stories, especially in yuri. The author simply hasn't enough space to make a fully developed romance in those constraints, so often has to pare things down to the very basics, or at least use culturally-recognizable shorthand. Longer stories can be a lot more decompressed, but even then it takes a lot of space to give the nuance of a real-world romance so it doesn't happen much even with hetstuff. So often you jump straight to love.

This is so true. It's really difficult to express anything but the extremes when it's a one-shot or short story, but if you notice in the longer more series driven manga's, depending on the focus you do get that slow build up. Which can be much more refreshing and there is character development. The character realizes there are feelings of some sort towards another character "nervous, heart-pounding, blushing", brushing that off to maybe I just really enjoy that persons company later characterized as a crush.Then movement to realization " I think I really like this person"... then " I think I love this person" and so on. That's how I view it anyway. There are at least a few I can think of that have a similar patter. (Sweet Blue Flowers, Love DNA XX, Whispered Words, Girlfriends) Again those are all series. I haven't read much het stuff, so I don't have much of an opinion.