If someone has a problem with that exceptionally infrequent occurrence, I'm sorry but they're either a homophobe or a misandrist. Either way, they can quite frankly just leave.
OR they could stay and explain to you why your name-calling is wrong, in the hope that one day you'll get it.
Identifying such a visceral reaction of disgust and disdain to the completely benign appearance of a gay couple as either homophobia or misandry is not "name-calling," no matter how much you would like it to be true. I'm well aware that there is a small but vocal subsection of this community who actually hate men, regardless of what they're doing or who they are. They pop up whenever a Het story is released or a man appears in a yuri story. I'm tired of it. They can take their personal problems elsewhere.
Except there's no dicks here. There's two men who love each other doing some silly flirting. If someone has a problem with that exceptionally infrequent occurrence, I'm sorry but they're either a homophobe or a misandrist. Either way, they can quite frankly just leave.
One of the first manga series I ever finished was Love Hina. I'd like to see the exact same story with Keiko instead of Keitaro. Change the Seta character to Setsuna or something, and make it full-on yuri harem madness. And make a remake of Dark City with Jane Murdoch as the main character.
While I find the idea of eternal vindictiveness tiring, especially for someone who isn't even real, I find myself agreeing with people who say they can't trust Kaoru. One extremely necessary part of a redemption story is the breakdown of the character to be redeemed. The breakdown moment, where they're at their lowest and realize the way they do things isn't right, is essential for convincing the reader that they've actually learned something. This series has been going on for so long, with such time between chapters, I honestly can't remember if Kaoru even had such a moment. If she did, and people just aren't recalling it, please feel free to link the chapter.
...makes me wonder what the author is even thinking.
"I'm serialized and actually getting paid," is probably foremost on their mind. It's extremely difficult to balance that with a working story. While it's understandable, it makes these kinds of situations difficult for the reader as well.
Over-saturation and scrambling for profit via quantity over quality is the sign of a failure to do the basic job of a talent company - showcasing individual talents' strengths while keeping them happy and feeling that it's worth their while to be a part of it. Nijisanji doesn't care about the talents. They care only about keeping the money rolling in, no matter how many waves they have to roll out, screw over, and graduate to do it. I only hope those still in the company who haven't wised up will do it soon. Kurosanji doesn't deserve the place they have in the v-tuber community.
Darth Vader being Luke's father was a retcon. An author shifting how a character behaves as their series goes on to better tell their story is not. You don't have to like that they felt the need to do that, for whatever reason, but it does not change the context of the previous parts of the work. I, personally, was very unsatisfied with how Mai's character ended up losing her inexplicable adult-isms as the series progressed, but it does not constitute a retcon.