^ It really doesn't look like denial to me. Yuu from Bloom Into You was in denial; you could tell because her thoughts and her actions where somewhat at odds. Shimamura seems more like she's just not interested.
But Shimamura's thoughts and actions are at odds. If she wasn't at all interested in Adachi then there wouldn't be much stopping her from simply hanging out with her less and allowing that distance between them to quietly widen like she's spent a bunch of time thinking about with other people. It's not like Adachi's pursuing her that actively - look how hard it was for her to work up the courage just to ask her out. But Shimamura doesn't cut Adachi off at all. Adachi's too important to her. But she's scared of letting things escalate because she's afraid of having this turn into a relationship that actively asks things over, that she can't just engage with lazily and on her own terms and walk away from or forget about like she's allowed herself to do with everything else. So Shimamura cares about Adachi too much to simply rebuff her advances, but is too afraid of what might happen if things escalate to engage with that idea directly, so we get these long sequences of her inner narration of why This Thing We're Doing Is Totally Normal, Definitely Isn't That Other Thing It Kind Of Looks Like so that she can make it into something that's safe for both herself and Adachi.
...Or something. I think. Still early. We'll see how I feel in another chapter or two.
last edited at Jun 27, 2019 5:40PM