Is Ji Youyan supposed to be actually mean or just relatively to Jing Xiu? I agree with you that Jing Xiu doesn't seem mean at all, but I would hazard that most people are judgmental some of the time in their thoughts. I don't think that makes Ji Youyan mean in and of itself. They can both be nice.

More relative to Jing Xiu, I'm not saying she's a bad person, but Ji Youyan has shown some other negative qualities. She's the one who broke up with Jing Xiu, apparently for the sake of her career, and then drank herself to death; she admitted the only reason she gained the courage to pursue Jing Xiu in her second life was she saw the latter crying over her coffin; she's pretty aggressively butting into Jing Xiu's life despite being told she's not wanted; etc. I think overall she has a fairly aggressive and somewhat selfish personality that would make her well-suited to the Simon Cowell role if it didn't clash with her public image (though she's a good enough actress she can play the nice girl well too).

Again, not saying she's a bad person, and she certainly makes a great protagonist because of how proactive and complex she is.

I want to clear up this up because I feel that it might not have translated well in the comic: Ji Youyan did not break up with Jing Xiu for the sake of her career.

The bathroom scene did not highlight this as much in the comic but in the novel you could feel Ji Youyan's disgust with herself in the scene. "It was quite ugly. She hated seeing herself like that." In the starting chapters there's a foundation of how Ji Youyan's problem is her self-loathing/self-worth issues. Every angsty thought JYY has about JX in the intial stages is mired in her self loathing. Like "obviously JX is disgusted with me. I'M disgusted with me!" "I was very stupid before!" etc etc. She has very low evaluation of herself.

The comic doesn't mention this but in the novel's intro it mentions how Jing Xiu is a highly decorated actress even at this point in time where its a restart. She's already won major acting awards both inside and outside of China at this point in time. Its not stated outright in the comic but you'll notice the panels where Ji Youyan is being forced to drink Jing Xiu can calmly eat. which is rare in these types of getting to know dinners: you'd need a certain amount of prestige and backing to be able to do so. this is specifically stated in the novel as Jing Xiu drinks tea instead of wine and the director never forces her so the investors are aware that Jing Xiu is not someone they can casually bully. This means she has backing in the entertainment industry. While Ji Youyan is still at bottom of the barrel in the entertainment industry. JYY has now won an award but still lacks the power to actually deal with investors properly.

That self loathing informs every action Ji Youyan took while they were together and until now. She had grown with a mentality that meant her value as a person was attached to her ability to perform and that decided how worthy she was of Jing Xiu. Except that mentality from the get go was flawed because she should have never measured her worth in her ability to achieve results. However this mentality was a result of her environment and certain circumstances surrounding her and if you understand/relate to those circumstances it makes you want to cheer her on that she comes out of that spiral. Additionally because of a lack of communication like now, where they're tiptoeing around each other they misunderstood the reasons for the other doing things and thought the other no longer had feelings for themselves. They reached a point where JX thought Ji Youyan didn't love her anymore because JYY never opened up to her about her difficulties and JYY thought JX got tired of loving useless trash like her

JX is also behaving in such a way because she has been hurt countless times before because of JYY's "pride". She's been very very hurt by JYY and we can see that already from the few tidbits JYY has mentioned herself and why she's bitter at herself for being stupid. JX does the things she does because JYY used to never tell her what was wrong so now she has had to resort to underhanded means to figure out what JYY's mentality is. JX made a lot of concessions in their relationship that she thought would help JYY open up but in the end just put them in a cycle of hurting and getting hurt However each of these issues are addressed as the story moves forward.

But again, that contributed hugely to why they broke up. And why they thought the other didn't love them anymore. the reason JYY can pursue JX now is because she realized that JX still actually loved her. They still love each other. They still have feelings. She was able to stay out of JX's life in the other timeline because she thought that was what JX wanted and what would make JX happy and a good ex is basically dead. Since she thought JX no longer loved her it was best to be a qualified ex. but she herself couldn't move on. and every action she took in the entertainment industry was all for naught. And then the realization that she still has space in JX's heart, that ther's room to make up makes her braver to correct her mistakes. she doesn't recognize all of her mistakes yet but she'll learn, she'll grow. Now JYY is in a position that makes her braver to take action to correct her mistakes as long as JX welcomes it while JX recognizes that even if there are feelings unless they address their issues the relationship won't work but if JYY is willing to open up to her on it then she's willing to reopen her heart even if it takes awhile because of how much of the trust was broken in the past. So yeah, its about them learning to grow and be better versions of themselves and its all because they both realized they still love each other and can't move on from each other that they want to give themselves this chance to try and work on it. And they do! They get better! they make mistakes sure but both of them strive to correct them become better people and make each other happy.

last edited at Sep 29, 2022 7:12AM

Oh damn this got adapted!! Signed up just to talk about it. I loved the novel. It was really heartwrenching but in a good way. It makes a statement of how going back in time will do nothing if we don't address what was wrong in our relationship but we do love each other so much that we're willing to work on it again. Not only is it about their relationship but it seeing as this is mostly from the perspective of Ji Youyan its also about her journey dealing with her mental health issues. It also allows them to save other relationships/prevent the worst possible outcome for not only themselves but people around them. its a study in mental health and the toxicity of the entertainment industry and how that toxicity can break down peopl who used to be so full of life. and helping each other heal from that and live happier healthier lives.

I think about the tagline every time.

"懂得如何愛比懂得愛更重要"

Knowing how to love is more important than understanding love.

I did not know it had a tagline but yeah!! That! Love isn't enough to sustain a relationship but it does help sustain the desire to make a relationship work but they needed to recognize where they were going wrong with each other. Its the same whether its platonic or familial. Like the way Ji Youyan's parents cared about her was so relateable to me too. its complicated in a way. not sure if these are spoilers since its just a general feel but I'll play safe: You know your parents care about you and want what's best but the way they love was one of the factors that drove Ji Youyan to further tie in the mentality that if she isn't performing well or doing as expected then she isn't worthy of love. how they expressed their care for JYY was a nail in the coffin to really have Ji Youyan tie her ability to perform well to her value and her being "worthy" of love. The parents didn't have a healthy mentality either so that manifested in a kind of love that hurt her too. But giving the space for the parents to grow the same way Ji Youyan and Jing Xiu were given space to grow felt really like. I wish more people had that. I wish more people learned to love better. Like I knew the parents were doing what they thought was good but I'd have struggled to even try and forgive them for their homophobia and would have called them out on it. even if we still cared about each other. But at the same time it was a scene that I honestly wished happened more in real life: parents who realized their mistakes grew from that mentality and learned to accept their children truly unconditionally. learning to love healthier and more respectful of each others needs and desires

Oh damn this got adapted!! Signed up just to talk about it. I loved the novel. It was really heartwrenching but in a good way. It makes a statement of how going back in time will do nothing if we don't address what was wrong in our relationship but we do love each other so much that we're willing to work on it again. Not only is it about their relationship but it seeing as this is mostly from the perspective of Ji Youyan its also about her journey dealing with her mental health issues. It also allows them to save other relationships/prevent the worst possible outcome for not only themselves but people around them. its a study in mental health and the toxicity of the entertainment industry and how that toxicity can break down peopl who used to be so full of life. and helping each other heal from that and live happier healthier lives.

last edited at Sep 29, 2022 2:02AM