it seems like fujiwara doesn't really connect the dots between her own impulsive actions and whatever it is she feels awakening as a result of them afterwards. (the last pages of both ch.1.5, and ch .6)
im not convinced that she knows what shes really doing, even if it seems like she does. she has no friends to really talk to, and beyond what shes
and haven't had an sort of defining/major romantic encounter as of yet, and don't really know exactly what they want from each other yet, albeit a kind of 'companionship'.
so my question is:
how much of fujiwara's amorous actions towards yuri are her doing what she thinks yuri wants her to?
fujiwara has spent her whole life fulfilling the desires of others. playing the part that was written for her.
as the ojou-sama for the public.
as the mature, responsible, obedient, dutiful (neglected? unloved? ignored?) daughter for her (dismissive? strict/conventional(traditional)/domineering?) family
and then as the Young Master. whom she found scripted for her after flipping through yuri's copy of the 'Story Ideas', and believing that it was a character based on her and that it was yuri's desires on the page. the whole of chapter 1 & 2 she acted out the role of the young master to a T. (lol it was so brutal.)
and what it is it going to have to take for her to finally be herself? does she even know how to be herself? does she really even know who she is deep down? i feel like she would barely even remember who that is...
with her being as deceptive as she is, it wouldn't surprise me at all to find her lying to herself in more than one matter, despite being so sophisticated a thinker.
if shes doing what it takes to live up to expectations of people shes doesn't even like or care about, what would she be willing to do for someone shes intrigued by? how far would she go?
which buttons do you have to press for her real self to shine through? for the 'good', and the 'bad'.
i would venture to say that her look on the stairwell was something along the lines of asking for honesty. it felt as open/vulnerable as we might ever see someone like fujiwara become, which ain't much. it was a question asking for more than what was said. a question that wanted everything. a question that wanted the truth. especially if it was anything like what she believed it could be, based on the comprehensive possibilities she'd already considered. and note that the the action of pulling yuri's ankle is tied to emotional pain, as the last time she got physical w/ yuri was when she felt she was being ignored. and that kind of pattern has to have roots stemming from somewhere... from something... <3
(i certainly did not detect any jealousy/hatred at all! and i wouldn't go so far as to say she is possessive with only whats happened so far, but it could be in the making. though that would more likely stem from past trauma and fear more than selfishness. and in this case it was)
damn is the guessing game fun!
{[for those that were asking about a similar pairing, their dynamic vaguely (VERY vaguely) reminds me of 'shizuru x natsuki' in the 'mai hime' anime, but i am not endorsing them. i'm assuming it hasn't been seen, so i wont ruin anything. so i will only declare natsuki to be boring as hell in the show, and such a 1 trick pony in the fanmade materials that i want her to die in a fire. but shizuru.... i like shizuru. a lot. (as a part of the non-vanilla interpretation fanbase. more interesting that way.) (mmm drama... my favorite.)
i'd just rather shizuru was fuckin' w/ haruka instead of natsuki. way more of a sparky dynamic there, hehe. and no i don't want to derail this topic into mai hime, so i'll be quiet now. The Garden of Lilies has much more delicious complexity to offer... to savour... lol. brb reading shizxharu ff's. ]}
