Could people who haven't ever been in a poly relationship please stop talking about it as if it's set in stone that it can never work and trying it is stupid?
This idea is honestly really toxic and leads to people in those relationships just assuming from the start that it won't work which is not the case.
Do you know why you only see instances of Poly that don't work out in the open? Because that's the kind that gets the most drama and thus is more juicy to show.
This constant "oh it won't work out" or harassment from others on why the relationship is a mistake is so bullshit, I lost one of my two girlfriends to this garbage.
Thank. You. I was getting so mad while reading all those commentaries ahah, and I'm happy someone actually came to defend poly relationships. And I'm sooo sorry for you that you lost one of your gf like that :( Sending all my love.
But yeah, when I randomly saw that it drove me crazy :
Meh. A three-girl polyamory takes three times as much work to maintain the relationship compared to a yuri couple. Although there are economic benefits of sharing costs under one roof, there’s too much drama to keep everyone happy. I’m assuming the partners have equal status in the relationship. It gets more difficult to maintain such relationships when there are disparities in age and income.
And really, what a bullshit statement this is. Poly = drama ? Seriously ? It's as hard to make a relationship with two persons work than it is with any kind of relationship. Sometimes there's drama, sometimes it's going smoothly. It can work and not everyone is showing in the open they're in a happy couple with 2 persons. Get over it.
Then I kept reading. And this really triggered me :
that is not a completely true statement. It is highly probable that you are correct that there would be too much drama, but women could have a 3-way relationship if they practice yoga concepts enough
So what now, women are kind of histerical creatures that just needs to relax ? You do realize that's totally sexist right ? What about poly guys ? Are three guys okay because meh, it's okay, they take it cool, they're manly men ? Or maybe gay guys are drama queens too and the only case it works is two girl with one guy because the big straight man is gonna help the couple to go better ? I wonder why the exact threshold of hysteria in an all girl relationship is 3 girl though, one could think all lesbian couples might fail because of the lack of yoga.
Ideally - and this is the rarest of all - everyone in the triangle loves each other. Like actually love, not just tolerate. Even then, irrational jealousy can still occur. If two of the three have a fight and the third one is stuck between them, having to choose sides, that would be unbelievably taxing. Then they are questioned who they actually love "more" and at that point it all goes to Gehenna.
What. The. Hell. Okay, stop. Why only three cases ? As Rosenakahara said a bit before me, you have to stop assuming all poly relationships are the same and can't work. I'm poly, I know poly people, and most are as fine as any monogamous couples. They do have the same issues as anyone else, and yes, sometimes, they might have different issues because hey, this is a bit different. Ever heard of compersion ? If not you should check it out some day.
All this to say : all poly relationships are different, and you should stop assuming it's just "three girls trying to get together and having a lot of drama". Honestly most of the time it's nothing like that. You can be in an open relationship, your partners can date each other or not, but I can tell you, in this precise case in which you're in an exclusive relationship with two girls dating each other too, it can work very well without any yoga, without being all easy-going, and without being "they're both my soulmates no matter what jealousy I can feel". Don't worry for us ;)
But if this really how non-poly people all see polyamoury, well that makes me sad, and I get better how the hate is speading.
