No that's not what I found pushy about her, it's certain things like she said. That Qiu Tong doesn't have to give her an answers and the weird flirty jokes that were unnecessary. I think that's what was pushy.
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Ah. OK. I see where we're coming unstuck here.

See, I didn't find Sun Jing's jokes either flirtatious or unnecessary.

Hmmm…actually, I take back that first part, but only because it seems "slightly flirtatious" is Sun Jing's default mode around girls :) In fact, it's kinda funny that for the most part, until now, it seems her feelings for Qiu Tong have actually been suppressing her naturally flirtatious demeanour.

But on the second part, yeah, I definitely don't think they were unnecessary. In fact, I think they were crucial to Sun Jing's entire purpose in not letting Qiu Tong run away.

Qiu Tong was winding herself up in increasingly anxious cycles of embarrassment and guilt. And if she had been allowed to continue on by herself, I think it's highly likely that she would have done exactly what Sun Jing feared she would do: shut down and just start avoiding Sun Jing.

Sun Jing effectively pushed (hah) Qiu Tong to critical mass, at which point she exploded, and then finally managed to find some form of equilibrium with this new world order :)

And the last "joke". Not a joke at all, I think. I'm pretty sure at that point she's just reaffirming her position by saying, "Don't worry. I'm not asking you out. I'm just letting you know that I want to ask you out."

LOL. When I think about it, given their position at that time, it's actually like Sun Jing was saying, "Pay attention, you adorable twit. I'm interested in you. So stop plastering yourself all over me unless you're interested back!"

So, clearly Sun Jing's approach would not have worked for you (and the others who found her pushy, scary and possibly creepy) but I think it actually worked just fine for Qiu Tong. And that's OK, isn't it? We're all different. This fits Sun Jing's impulsive, exuberant and actually rather courageous personality. And it seems pretty evident that it works for Qiu Tong too :)

last edited at Apr 3, 2016 4:41AM

Yes, I don't doubt than Sun Jing didn't intend to force an answer out of Qiu Tong or even be pushy at all. However, she did come off as rather pushy and that's a fact. Everyone sees it a bit differently so if a lot of people found it pushy it's pretty obvious that Qiu Tong likely found it pushy as well. Qiu Tong clearly rejected Sun Jing and told her she doesn't feel the same way.

Well, she clearly came off as pushy to you. I was thinking that that might have been because you thought she was hounding Qiu Tong for an answer to her confession. And if she had indeed been hounding Qiu Tong for an answer, then that would have been pushy. But she wasn't. She was simply ensuring that the shock of her revelation (seen clearly in Qiu Tong's mounting embarrassment as she recalled all their interactions in this new light, and then decided to cut and run) didn't effectively end their relationship (whatever that might be or become).

In light of this, she did not come off as pushy to me. And that's a fact :)

Actually, I'm kinda hanging out now for the day when Qiu Tong turns to Sun Jing and says again, "Thank you for chasing after me that time!" :)

last edited at Apr 2, 2016 7:49AM

It wasn't a 100% smooth plan ofc, but she tried and followed through. Like Qi Fang said, she needed to show her intentions somehow (rather than coming off as platonic) and at least get Qiu Tong to consider her in that light

Oh, totally. But you see, I don't think there was a 100% smooth way to do this, because, you know, heteronormativity.

I mean, it actually says a lot about Qiu Tong's world view that she didn't twig to it herself. It's not like Sun Jing was being sly. She wasn't trying to ease into a relationship by first setting herself up as Qiu Tong's friend. She was totally upfront and honest in all her interactions with Qiu Tong. If Sun Jing was male, there's absolutely no way Qiu Tong wouldn't have realised from word "Go!" that Sun Jing was pursuing her.

And maybe Sun Jing would have been willing to keep going that way; perhaps see whether Qiu Tong might come around in her own time (because, however blinkered she's been, surely she'd have started to wonder about her own reactions to Sun Jing); but then Qiu Tong said she liked someone…

Now whether she's telling the truth there or not, that was obviously a huge red flag to Sun Jing. To stay with the "game" analogy, how does she compete if she's not even being scored on the same scorecard?

So, yeah, she had to get herself on the same playing field as her rival, but to do that, she had to pretty abruptly pull Qiu Tong's heteronormative rug out from under her. And that was never going to be a gentle landing, especially when you consider this:

Except for a few head pats, it seems like Sun Jing has been very careful about physical interaction with Qiu Tong. Qiu Tong's dawning moment of "Oh my God! What have I done?!" was all about each and every time she herself had very definitely invaded Sun Jing's space :)

last edited at Mar 31, 2016 4:43AM

So, I kinda felt like I just had to post a comment in answer to the posters complaining about how "pushy" and "scary" and generally "creepy" they felt Sun Jing was being toward Qiu Tong. In fact, I felt so strongly that I just had to go and sign up just so I could do it! I hope you can excuse the presumption in a first post :)

See, I totally don't agree, and I wonder whether the problem here is the context. And by that, I mean I think you have the context all wrong. Because the thing is, that whole sequence was all about the context.

Sun Jing was not actually confessing her feelings there. Honestly, that was almost a side-note. So, further to that, she did not confess to Qiu Tong and then pursue her relentlessly to force an answer out of her.

All Sun Jing was doing there was adamantly establishing a context. She was doing exactly what Qi Fang said she should do: she was establishing a basis for attraction. She's saying to Qiu Tong in as honest and frank and utterly unambiguous a fashion as she possibly can, "I'm sorry, but I'm not just trying to be friends with you. When I say the things I do and do the things I do, I'm not just being friendly. I'm pursuing you."

She's not asking Qiu Tong to answer her feelings. Hell, I'm pretty sure the last thing she wants from Qiu Tong right now is an answer, because while she can be silly in love, she's not stupid. Whatever blushing, putong moments Qiu Tong might be having, Sun Jing has to know that Qiu Tong hasn't even begun to consider her in a romantic context. And that, of course, is the whole point of this scene.

One, she's establishing a basis for attraction. And then, two, she's making sure that the huge bomb she just dropped on Qiu Tong doesn't destroy the friendship they've begun to develop. She follows not to force an answer out of Qiu Tong, but to make sure that when they do part, it's with Qiu Tong in a frame of mind to start properly processing this new context, not just shut down and shut Sun Jing out.

This is not the end game! This is just the start of the game. And Sun Jing's just making absolutely sure Qiu Tong realises there's a game being played, and it's a two player game, and it's all kinda pointless if she doesn't show up for it because she doesn't realise it's on :)