Why are you so set on trying to logically analyze what is clearly a silly, illogical gag 4koma?
Anyone else who looks at this, or anything else by this author, can clearly tell it's not supposed to make sense.
Even having a "theory" shows that you're spending way too much time thinking about it, and talking down to other people about it just makes you look pretentious, not smart.

And yes, I made an account just to make this comment.

last edited at Dec 17, 2015 1:35PM