28 years old is a long time to be a NEET. While I'm in uni and have been somewhat seaching for jobs, I feel like I'm more of a hikkikomori than a NEET.
You know the things aobut conscience and depression is that people imagine it as "fighting something" - in this story's case, it's her "The me who is trying to please my parents" values/personality, but for me it's just "Logic which should be obeyed for a happy life" which isn't really a personality itself but I have a tendancy to not obey that logic. Even if it's something like "Go to the shops today and get some ice cream as a luxury this holiday" my real personality as a result of past life experiences (esp. social) would be "Don't want to go"
So that would mean I wouldn't be myself if I disobeyed my personal values. I've been trying this by starting off with VoIP and training to become a Pilot, but I've had to postpone my pilot training because lack of motivation and piloting does not mix together as safety would be compromised.
I have seen self-improvement but the effort to result ratio doesn't feel like it's worth it and I pooped out recently, somehow going from 78 kg at the start of this year to currently 51 kg. I just can't be bothered with life anymore.
However the things motivating me with life other than my logics are manga like this and videogames. Without computers I would still see myself as being depressed at my lack of co-ordination and mental defficiencies (e.g. Autistic tendancies, small memory size, double-translation of intepretating language etc.).
