Yeah. One thing I notice about her is how painfully clear it is that all her mental sour grapes just makes her more unhappy. That kid is wound waaaay too tight--she's not just insecure, she also, how to put it, is kind of obsessed with her insecurity. The question of whether she's the best or the worst is the only thing she thinks about, she never has mental room to have fun or even get absorbed in a topic. I suspect one reason she studies so hard but only gets "pretty good" results instead of awesome is that she can't, for instance, read a piece of literature and get into it, only study it--she'd never be grappling directly with stuff she studies on its own terms, only thinking "I will get the best mark because I'm studying this thing so hard." Her need to be the best student gets in between her and everything else, even the things she studies. Poor kid, if she doesn't find some way out she'll have a nervous breakdown.
Sounds painfully realistic.
Really, I can't help but feel for her. She wants to connect to people, and she wants to consider herself above them, too. It's a lot of issues stirring all together. I feel like she's going to have a hard journey towards growing to be a happier person, but I really am rooting for her.
