The culture of s&m isnt about sex (or only about sex), what individuals do with it is a whole 'nother story. Too many people watched or read 50 shades of nonsense and think that's what s&m is. Sunstone is a more accurate depiction.
Also what KittyCatOmaniac said.
Just have to read "Nana to Kaoru".
There's absolutely no sex in it (lots of service though), but it's damn thrilling. One of the cutest dom/sub relationship I ever read about.
There's no sex in the sense of going all the way, but it's clearly about sexual tension, about desire; they will get to sex sooner or later (not necessarily in the manga, but you know their relationship is headed in that direction). The SM in Nana to Kaoru is thoroughly sexual. If that's the kind of yardstick people are using for "Oh, no, no, SM isn't a sex thing" I am greatly skeptical.
And I think it's unnecessary, a sort of defensive reaction, taking on board a hint of puritanism from the critics, like "Oh, no, it's not some mere tawdry sex thing"--hello, sex is a foundation of our existence as biological organisms, we wouldn't be here without it as much as we wouldn't be here if we didn't eat. Obsession with sex is a basic important survival trait, so of course sex is intertwined hugely with our cultures, with huge amounts of what we do. Back to SM, if the point isn't driving that fundamental obsession (in a sometimes somewhat obscured way) then I don't get the point; I don't see how sex is just an optional extra. I can envision SM without a sexual component, I guess, but it seems like the drives involved must be much less basic.
(Although I suppose Tachi's reaction to SM is almost nonsexual, it's like a different kind of athletic effort for her. But I don't really grok her take on it for precisely that reason.)
last edited at Aug 12, 2015 1:10PM