(Ch. 7) But anyway, speaking to this chapter—I really like Akira actually, she has a lot of dark emotions and demons running about that she never seems to have faced. I bet we get to see more into those, and watch her work through them, as they’ve started to do here.
This chapter is one of the most satisfying “bridging the gap” moments I’ve read in manga so far—I absolutely love how Akira is able to put her ego and bad frameworks aside when she hears what Mayuki did. She could have just gotten jealous and angry hearing that Rin cried with Mayuki, but she stopped, reflected, and realized what was going on, and where her failings were—I love the image of her being emotionally and personally way behind Mayuki. I think she’s now dealing with a lot of cognitive dissonance, because on the one hand she’s awed by Mayuki, but on the other she seems to have leaned heavily on the idea of her academic and sports prowess setting her above others as a coping mechanism, and it seems her past kindness toward and relationship with Mayuki is deeply tangled in that morass, hence the nasty things she’s thinking as her beliefs are challenged. She’s starting to realize that being good at sports and academic just makes her good at sports and academics, and doesn’t make her a better person—she was confused that she couldn’t get Rin because of how strongly her frameworks turn around prowess, with Rin seemingly being the only time she’s wanted someone more than they’ve wanted her. At the same time, she’s been really isolated, and I totally get the pain of feeling like you can’t hold on to the people you really do want close to you, that despite all the things you’ve done to try and make yourself likable and desirable you can’t find the stability and assurance you believe is promised to you when someone doesn’t choose you—it exposes the fact that the frameworks you’re using don’t reflect reality. And Mayuki is poised to smash into these frameworks by her foundational place in them, her kindness, and of course her “adult kissing” abilities. Whew, I can’t wait.
Also, I think people are giving Rin a bit too much credit here. I think her relationship with Mayuki is similarly maladaptive, but people are giving her a free pass because it’s not showing up in ugly thoughts about someone else. She’s really been putting Mayuki on a pedestal as a solution to all her problems, and she’s really not being open or honest with her about her feelings. As touching as some of their scenes together are, Rin really isn’t treating Mayuki as an equal either—it’s just not showing up ugly through jealousy and a superiority complex.
Hmmmm. You make a good point here. I know codependency because I’ve been through it. I was like Rin before. The reason why Rin isn’t being ugly is because she never had hatred for the two friends, but the friends disliked each other. And so Rin hasn’t dealt with possession and jealousy simply because she hasn’t been put on the spot. Because this is the first time someone isn’t looking at her, I think she’s definitely a little star struck like at less than I can make her happy.
Rin I think definitely knows she’s poly, she probably thinks Mayuki is too because the context is different. Akira is only looking at one girl, just like Rin’s old friends. So because Akira didn’t know how much that they tore her down, Akira really was so close to hurting Rin without knowing how. Glad she reflected and thought about someone else’s feelings. Rin is thinking too much of others’ feelings, making their happiness hers
last edited at Sep 18, 2020 1:47AM