I called in sick today, cause I don't feel very well. I have a slight fever, bit of a headache, feeling a bit nauseous and I'm paler than usual as well. So I'll just stay in bed today and rest.

I fell asleep at my desk yesterday night. My back is killing me. Dx Note to self: buy more comfortable office chair.
Anyway. Good morning to whomever is here.

last edited at May 20, 2016 5:46AM

I'm not saying I'd leave for good and never return. I'd probably just be MIA for a few weeks, or possibly a bit longer even, I can't really tell. I don't know how deep my issues are yet. But like I said: I'm not sure yet if I'll really do this. For now, as long as I don't have Su with me, maybe distraction is the better option.

I know myself too well in this regard though. Once I allow myself to have a distraction, I'll use it, even in moments I shouldn't. It's a bit ridiculous how I can teach teens ways to face whatever they're scared of or insecure about, yet my own demons are things I just refuse to deal with. Some ugly things from my past have been catching up with me lately and I hadn't realized how bad it actually was until I read the name "Claire" in Nez's story and ended up sobbing through the night and pretty much half of the next day. Psychoanalysis is something I've always been quite good at. I knows what's going on with me. I know what to do to fix myself. But for that, I need to focus. And to focus, I need to turn my back on my ways of distracting myself...which includes this thread.

You are here too.

Or am I? I was actually considering disappearing here for a while. I've been using this thread and this site as a distraction too much lately and I don't like the direction my mind is going hence. I'm still not too sure about it though.

It won't die. I will give life to it before it runs out.

Let's hope someone else will be here to help you with that. You can't really revive a thread on your own, it'd take at least 2 or 3.

And we're back to silent mode... /sighs/ I hope this thread won't die without Dofu here.

My brother, being the sweetheart he is, just sent me this picture in an email in an attempt to "cheer me up and remember the good things in life."

Have I ever mentioned my brother is a sardonic asshole? =_=

I personally think Seju is the realest and most relatable character of the story. Everything about her makes so much sense, to me it sometimes feels like her character was based on a real person and actual experiences.
I also don't think Sungji is a too perfect, fake character, however. People like Sungji do exist. And thankfully they do, because I fear what society would come to if it wouldn't be for those people. Kindness is unconditional. There are not many people who understand this, but Sungji seems to be one of them, even if she's fictional.

last edited at May 19, 2016 9:08AM

Does anyone find it weird how Sungji avoided saying to Sumin that she was actually in Seju's house?

Sungji's last words while she's in Seju's apartment ("I wish president would stop hurting so much.") were pretty much proof of what others already suspected when in one of the recent chapters, Sungji told Sumin that she's not gonna ask, but if she feels that there's something she wants to tell her, Sumin should do so. Sungji knows. She definitely knows what's going on. That's why I don't think it's too weird for Sungji to not telll Sumin she was with Seju. She wants Sumin to come to her, not the other way round.

last edited at May 19, 2016 8:22AM

Just do what always works: stay optimistic and smile. ^_^ And take a collar and a leash, just in case Kanojo has a few too much and decides it's time to make the woman who put her hands on you pay. xD

@Dofu:

I'll just agree to disagree then. xD We have extremely different views on job interviews, so I'll just drop it here. Have fun at that wedding though. ^_^

If she turns out to be unprofessional in other respects that we didn't catch, it's somewhat my fault for not bringing up what I'd experienced with her.

Geez Dofu, it's one not so good experience with a person you've literally just met. xD Don't jump to conclusions right away. If she actually gets the job and does try to pursue you, there's still always the chance to talk to her in private and call her out on her behavior. If she doesn't drop it, then I would bring it up to the others. And if it turns out that her trying to go after you isn't the only bothersome thing about her, well then there is no way how either you or anyone else could have known. If she stayed professional throughout the entire interview and nobody had anything bad to say about it, it generally means she can be professional. She might just have a slightly different perspective on it, but that's probably nothing a simple talk wouldn't be able to fix. xD Anyway. Not my decision to make. But like I mentioned: I'd give her a chance first.

last edited at May 18, 2016 7:28PM

What if she comes on board and starts creating problems that might impact the team and her work?

Simple: fire her. Also, what you mentioned is a possible scenario for literally every new person you employ. You never know until you give them a chance. And if they've proven to be worthy of getting one, I say let them have it.

Also, and this is just a very personal opinion without meaning to offend, but I also think bringing that kind of issue up to the team and thus possibly influencing their decision wether she will get the job or not...well, it seems cowardly. Like a cheap way out of facing someone and telling them no. /shakes head/ Not something I would do, personally. But that's just me.

I don't know if I should bother to bring something like that up to the team or not...

I'd advise against that. If she initially left a good impression and seems qualified to do the job, why ruin her reputation and her chances of getting it? Her possibly trying to pursue you, even if you two would be coworkers, is a personal issue you'd have with her, not a professional one. So why drag your team into this?

I couldn't resist. This chapter was practically begging for it.

First they make her emotionally miserable and now they make her physically miserable, too. Team Gaji sure pulls all the registers on Seju.

What can I say, I'm efficient.

/sighs/ If only more people were. >_<

As to feeling yourself "normal", I do consider myself normal. Being trans is definitely within normal human variation, it's the artificial tightening of that definition which is part of the problem.

That is why I put "normal" in quotation marks. ;-) In humanistic psychology, especially in humanistic psychotherapy, "normal" is definied merely as "being a human." Anything beyond that are fleeting concepts, which are constant subject to change and slave to individual perception (which you've just proven, by the way. xD) In other words: what most people tend to define as "normal" doesn't exist in our terms. I just used the word to make my point clear. ^_^ But that wasn't part of the question.

As to someone denying my identity bothering me, that's a pretty easy one to answer. Of course it would bother me. We're social animals, and I'm a social person. The idea that people would (and do) deny who I am is hurtful and highly rude, particularly in the context of modern society where identity gets attacked a lot.

I think "telling someone [I'm] transgender" would be more appropriately "telling someone I'm female". That's the sort of identification that people seem to object to, rather than objecting to being trans which is harder to deny. The real opposition in society is that being trans actually validly results in you being how you identify.

You have just answered the other 2 questions I would have had without me even asking them. xD Well, in that case, that's it already. Thank you. :-)

So if I deduced that correctly, you're a transgender person? If so, would I be allowed to ask you a few short questions? I'm currently trying to gather a bit of input for a term paper I'm writing and would appreciate it. :-)

It all depends on the specific questions. But I haven't really hidden my status here, it just doesn't come up all that often.

It won't be anything too personal. I'm writing a term paper on the role of individual identity and sense of self in applied humanistic psychotherapy methods. As for that, I would simply ask you some small questions about how important identity is to you and how strongly you feel about it. (By the way, I chose to ask you, because people with a strong sense of self, who actually actively identify as something, usually have different opinions from those, who consider themselves "normal." I need a few opinions from both sides, so that's why.)

For instance, one question I'd have would be this: How important is it for you to openly identify yourself and find acceptance of whom you are? Or in other words: Is people seeing you in a similar way you see yourself important to you or rather not? (Eg: Imagine you telling someone you're transgender, but that person, for whatever reason, refuses to see you as such. Would that bother you?)

last edited at May 17, 2016 3:22PM

@Nez:

Yeah, it's a pretty big thing. 1500 words is actually on the longer side for flash fiction.

The word "flash fiction" actually reminds me of a fiction about exhibitionism Su once showed me. An estimated 1000 words of utter WTF have never felt this long to me. xD

Aside from that, I just stumbled upon this sentence in the "About Me" section on your site.

and I used to run the Transgender community on LiveJournal if anyone remembers that.

So if I deduced that correctly, you're a transgender person? If so, would I be allowed to ask you a few short questions? I'm currently trying to gather a bit of input for a term paper I'm writing and would appreciate it. :-)

@Nez:

I just read "Purgatory has too nice a view", actually. ^_^ Pretty sweet, I must say! I enjoyed it. The Flash Fic concept seems intriguing. Is that a thing among writers?

SoftLikeSteel

How can you guys all read Nez's story and I can't? Dx Every time I try to click the link, a new window opens and it says "Database not available."

The site was having a bit of trouble yesterday. Not seeing any trouble today, just keep trying to refresh.

I just did and it showed up, though slowly. xD Sorry, I had to stop reading once I read the name "Claire" though. I have a bit of an issue with that name, as it triggers some extremely bad memories I have never really gotten over. /bows/ Gomen.

/crawls in on last legs and collapses/
Kill me. Just do it. I'm begging you. Dx

/Kills Lin /

/Burrying Lin../

Ah. Finally, some peace. Thanks guys. ^_^

How can you guys all read Nez's story and I can't? Dx Every time I try to click the link, a new window opens and it says "Database not available."

last edited at May 17, 2016 12:06PM

/crawls in on last legs and collapses/
Kill me. Just do it. I'm begging you. Dx