It's just harder for me to believe that Tianli would deliberately do such a terrible thing to Xiangyuan if she was in love with her, and hadn't even been explicitly rejected, and then stayed friends with the bullies that helped drive her love away. She definitely had some sort of monopolizing desire for Xiangyuan but it was one where she fully thought the ship has already sailed. This makes the study abroad scholarship especially seem like a very important motivator imo.
She might not have even been thinking about it as outing her, she might have been thinking of it as trying to chase Wang away from her. But even if that's not the case, when somebody is hurt, they lash out, and sometimes in the moment children (and I mean, that's the thing, they were children) don't understand the consequences of what they're doing.
I think it's also that Tianli would not have been fully aware of her feelings back then (which that other comments argument seems to suggest). She didn't consciously consider Xianyuan a love interest because she was very confused about her connection to her and also upset at how easily she was discarded.
The Tianli of the past always seemed unsure of herself and questioning many things and it feels like that questioning was pretty broad. So my assumption was always that all these factors led to her lashing out in confusion and harming herself (like a pokemon, it's on my brain now!)
So while she might have been confused and hurt, she also likely wasn't literally thinking "I'm going to hurt my love," because she probably wasn't in a place to realize or accept that her feelings for Xingyuan were a bit different than what she showed for others around her. She has a strong desire to be with Xingyuan that I don't think is explained otherwise, coupled with the other evidence mentioned previously.
last edited at Feb 28, 2024 6:39AM