Anon

^_^ I thought a short message was better than none ;> Didn't have the time for wall posts yesterday...

Well.. sorta but then the conversation is forever gone cos there's not a reply to the stuff being said previously... I think that's worse :P

I'd have to get you to be able do that... Totally impossible for me! (◦’ںˉ◦)

tilts head Huh? why is that so impossible??

So... what's up? Any good news regarding your work out?

No, it'll be till tomorrow, gym was packed yesterday, I had to wait a bit for equipment grrrrrrrr. But mirror say I look O.K. let's see what measurements say >_< I dread those, I try to get them done as little as possible but also must know what's going on sighs and there's people not caring about anything in the world and eating cake for breakfast and dinner oh well

Strange question, but to those who are willing to share:

Where are you all from? /(//∇//)\

Mexico :3

@Anon

Yo! ;)
How did it go today?
Good news from your coach?

Yo? Our exchange of words has hit the low point of a single "Yo!" ? Alright then shakes head

I haven't gone to my coach yet, that's in the afternoon, for now it's cooking and I may gonna go take a walk.

Hope your day is fine.

I don't even know how I should feel to be honest, I didn't like, but neither did I dislike it. I was expecting smth really bad or even fcked up, since I'm more the softcore Yuri type, girls being "lovey-dovey", but it really didn't hit me as hard, like whatever everyone likes smth else. Imo it's no match against smth like flower picking, which really disturbed me back then.(No offense to people who like it, it just really fcked me mentally) Im probably hardened up ._.;

I had to go and check that out... I think this one here is worse than that one... but maybe only cos of the lack of violence in "flower picking" eh still didn't like either but now I can say I read both!

im just gonna jump in and say Hi!!
I have no idea what everyone's talking about since I just wanted to pop in...
considering finding an avy...im usually on mobile tho...
currently swimming in manga as im re-organizing my lists(the previous trend was me trying to find what I wanted to read and ending up with additional reading thus impacting my sleep :P )
anywho.... ^_^

Hi, I like your name already!!!

A long reading list eh, ah that's the best

@Anon

you do have good taste after all!

"sometimes" hmmmm

Ha! I always had the same attitude. No real secrets in my life either. But, growing older, I have some things that I don't talk about to just anyone. Some people just can't shut up about things. And whatever it is I tell people, I wanna tell them myself. ^^
Just like my sister. She told absolutely everyone I'm gay. Which isn't so bad per se. She doesn't mind it, otherwise she wouldn't have done it. But that kinda annoyed me for a while. Because that's the one fun thing you get to do when you are gay. Tell people about it and watch the funny faces they sometimes make, trying to think of something to say (＾∇＾)

I am older than you apparently, I care not for what people think.

But “mind like“ is a part of that as well ;) The feeling of total surrender is the fun part after all. So you have to know what's going on in your partners head. Otherwise you need to talk it all through all the time and that would really ruin all the fun ;)

Humm, if she was getting me and a good partner, she'd get me.

Trying to imagine that in action really does sound hilarious somehow ^^
Uhhhhh, yeahhhh, baby, I do... (◦’ںˉ◦)

Why did that sound so lewd...? We were talking about chocolate just now. ^^

Aww chocolate??? Boooo ok

Yeah it just can't be true, I'm like serious about this, so tomorrow I'll see..has got me in a crappy mood all day grrrr

… really? Didn't notice that at all... ~( ´•‿•` )~

... You are playing me, aren't you?

Of course looks matter. I wish I could say they wouldn't. Always sounds so noble and idealistic.
But a relationship (usually) involves sex and sex involves attraction, so yeah...
But even then, sometimes you fall for someone who isn't really your type and you still go crazy about them ;) Feelings are weird sometimes after all ^^

But I don't give a crap how my friends look. As long as we can have fun together, whatever floats your boat is fine by me! (^_^)b

Who cares about how friends look like? I'm not kissing them

fchhh I do have long nails.

O_O Really? But... long nails are for straight people! Hasn't anyone ever told you that! ;)

They are also for bottoms

Ahh, no it's cos I got no time for people who don't get me, which is most people, sorry miss!!

That is totally discriminating against stupid people and I can't tolerate such behavior! Stupid people deserve a place in this world too after all... (ó﹏ò｡) Show some mercy... Where should I go otherwise...? щ(ಥДಥщ)

You may play dumb, but u kinda get me

looking maniac or crazy doesn't make me uncomfortable, people being silly does. Some people got me on edge, may be the way things are said or you just hit that particular string

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVL1u1eLX3I
;)

Don't take that away from me :(

Oh... I'll take more than just that! I'll make you strip! ;P

Meow

Yeah that, things should just flow like..juices and bloooood.

But still you gotta work for some juices to flow... (¬‿¬)

Pffggf

Stick around where...you see, lately I've had some people like inciting me to go out more or be more friendly or something, that's quite annoying, i believe I am just fine u_u

Inciting you to be more friendly? I would never do that! ^^
But I guess you do need to stick around people, for them to give you more then just talk.
From my experience, people don't just jump you and are all over you as soon as you enter a room. We are not Justin Bieber after all ;)

They should, I am quite cool

Yikes don't analyse me so soon woman!!

Okay, I'll keep the analyzing low key then ;)

.. but you may be right..a bit.. you know those cats that come to u and u try to pet and then they escape like they saw the devil but still kinda look at u wondering what's going on with ur true motives?

Yeah... complicated stuff... traumatic experiences leave their marks... In case you ever start to wonder about my motives, just ask. Too much teasing isn't good for the heart after all ;)

I beg to disagree

.

And here's a great song for everyone (most people might know it already though):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGi8LvE9Afk

For everyone pffff

last edited at Jan 18, 2017 12:16AM

Anon

That's good then too ;)
You wanted me to be a little mysterious, right...? ^^

Point for Anon right here.

I'm afraid so. Can't escape your genes... ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )
Everyone has a package to carry:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5i0o3JRaF2g
Did I tell you that I love Amanda Palmer, before...? ^^

You should had..I love her as well and Dresden Dolls, you do have good taste after all!

I'd say about everything one possibly can do, apart from sharing your darkest secrets or entrusting your life to others. Those only work with trust. Of course you can even do those without any trust but that's bound to leave some scars... or you dead ;)

Ah secrets are not a trust thing for me, I like to be very open so nothing can be hold against me :D

I thought you preferred me on top...? ;) Changed your mind already? ^^

In action not mind like! I am quite stubborn , which contradicts my ... nature , I really am a nice mix right there!!

(＾∇＾) For someone who likes to be dominated you sure break fast ;)
I wasn't actually being mean there. I referred to some people I saw that seemed to use chili for absolutely every dish. Like, they even ate their salad spicy. Or every piece of bread they ate. Or even chocolate... (^_^“) I love spicy but only where it belongs, and I want my chocolate sweet, That's what I meant. ;)

Oh I like it but not on a regular basis, I HATE people telling me what to do, unless I especially want her to tell me what to do and then if I do want to, I'll do it, otherwise I won't.
Ok spicy salad no, spicy bread yes, chocolate no.
Ok so you like sweet things in ur mouth, noted.

Hope that it'll prove to just have been a mistake. Kinda demotivating when you train real hard and you feel better but actually do worse...

Yeah it just can't be true, I'm like serious about this, so tomorrow I'll see..has got me in a crappy mood all day grrrr

To me, it always kinda feels like spying on peoples private lives. Not saying it's wrong. People put that stuff online for a reason after all. Just saying it's not what I enjoy.
I love pictures. But rather landscape pictures or general things that involve nature.
And I prefer actually talking to people to get to know them better. Their pictures don't matter to me much... I wanna know what's going on inside of their head.

Oh well some people are silly and post EVERYTHING THEY DO all the freaking time which is annoying as hell. Inside the head is important but , and call me what u want, looks matter to a point as well, I could not be honestly attracted to a person who eh is not someone I like, giving I don't have a type this may vary.

-_- I'm quite cooperative thank you very much.
Not right now, 'cause I said I was just kidding! (^_-)v

fchhh I do have long nails.

Talking to me, you'll have to read a little slower. You're too fast, girl. All I said was that it helps. Never said it was a general requirement.

Ah ,as in life, I jump to conclusions sometimes and get all worked up!!! It might help but I want not such help!!

This circle: Quote “I've got into some real shit cos I speak too damn freely and then people get butthurt or they think I'm some maniac and then I explain and I look crazier.. hence I try to just not talk much“
Sounded to me like you stopped talking because of those annoying misunderstandings that kept happening to you and not because you didn't like talking in general.

Ahh, no it's cos I got no time for people who don't get me, which is most people, sorry miss!!

Again, slow down. Never said it was a problem. You indicated that it made you feel uncomfortable because you said it makes you look crazy or like a maniac. You said that, not me. I'm not trying to be mean to you. Not everyone is out to kill you, you know ;)

Aewww how cute, looking maniac or crazy doesn't make me uncomfortable, people being silly does. Some people got me on edge, may be the way things are said or you just hit that particular string, still, it's fun to talk to you.

That's pretty much most people, I'm sure. ^^

Don't take that away from me :(

I don't like trying too hard, if it's the case it means it's worthless.
It might indicate that it didn't come naturally but it might also mean that it's well deserved then. ;)

Yeah that, things should just flow like..juices and bloooood.

That can change if you stick around long enough for people to do more than just talking ^^

Stick around where...you see, lately I've had some people like inciting me to go out more or be more friendly or something, that's quite annoying, i believe I am just fine u_u

I wouldn't say that. ^^
Well... you tend to put up your defense walls pretty fast. You mentioned it, that people treated you badly in the past. And that still shows somehow. You immediately think that people are against you. I'm not your enemy. I actually understand it. But it makes talking online a little harder sometimes, even though I still enjoy it.

Yikes don't analyse me so soon woman!! ... but you may be right..a bit.. you know those cats that come to u and u try to pet and then they escape like they saw the devil but still kinda look at u wondering what's going on with ur true motives?

nods slowly

Here's a fun song, to cheer you up:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryH5cga0yUI
(◦’ںˉ◦)v
Relationships sure can be hard ^^

Awww a song for me :B that's enticing, thanks. and huh? they can be hard or not too hard, in the end... I dunno, must be worth it cos... life .

Anon

Well, that's good then ;)

I am unsure if you are playing dumb or not, damn.

The Latin prerogative! ^^ I somehow feel pleased right now. We always have an excuse for the weird things we do. Ha! d (^‿^ )

Yeah..well it's not an excuse it's genetics Ma'am.

Oh, there's a lot of things you can do without too much trust. If it weren't like that I wouldn't be able to do anything at all. Since there's only one person I fully trust.

tilts head Is that really true? I don't really see a lot of things for me to do without too much trust... not even 5 things.

( ˆ▿ˆ) Talk is cheap. You said so yourself ;)

Don't you dare using my own words against me u_u meow!

I can. I love spicy food. Whenever it's appropriate. Don't need everything to be spicy though, like some people do, for no apparent reason...

I do love spicy stuff, :P I don't neeeed it but I will take it any time, boo you are not nice to me today at all u_u

More weight or actually more fat...?
Maybe you've grown more muscles and that's why you put on some weight? Since muscle mass is heavier than fat...?

More fat, I care not about the weight. It's not heavier prrrr it's more dense, looks better but it ain't heavier :P
I am going to have a new measurement tomorrow though, neither coach or I are convinced I'm so lame.

Impressive. I don't actually enjoy looking at other peoples pictures online. Makes me feel strange.
Unless it's something totally unrelated to their private lives. One of the many reasons I don't do social media stuff.

A non social media person?? who doesn't like looking at pictures?? throws hands on the air oh ok can't work with that lady.

Preferred to a dead fish, yes ;P JK!

-_- I'm quite cooperative thank you very much.

Being able to figure other people out helps a lot when being in a relationship and also on the way getting there.

pouts that's half true, if it was I would had never been with anyone ever.

^^ Happens, when you're nervous and not used to talking to people.
But the less you talk, the longer it will actually take you to get used to it and manage to get out of that vicious circle.

What vicious circle? I am perfectly fine being the way I am, I don't see it as a problem and it puzzles me as to why would you seem to consider it as such....

Yeah, 'cause it shows more of the real you then all the other things you say. And it also shows that you're still a little insecure, whenever you talk to me. And I find the contrast of you acting all confident and then you getting insecure again, cute ^^
All of your other cuteness...?
Can't say that I noticed any... ^^ Try a little harder! (¬‿¬)

Insecure, confident, insecure, confident. Yes, that's pretty much me.

_< I don't like trying too hard, if it's the case it means it's worthless.

It sure is! ^^ But that's also all you'll be getting here ;)

Sadly it's all i'm getting anywhere woman.

Such a sense of defeat today... sighs
Ah right, hope you have a wonderful day..it's afternoon there right?

Galichi

Anime has also proven many times that the best way to get someone that you love to return the feelings is by hitting them with a paperfan. It didn't work the last time I tried.

thinks of other things she has learned from anime Yeah, you're right, I did share an umbrella with a girl once, love didn't bloom in a splendid shining light.

That is not a thing tho! The curses there are for times you need them, and so if you use them when feeling like it, then thats a good use in my book.

Weeelll, in Mexico we sorta substitute actual words for curse words now and then, I find it amusing though, so it's fine.

It needs to totally have a name for itself! Any ideas?
Also, maybe that would drag me partying finally. I'd still be as much fun as waterboarding, but at the same time I could say "but at least I went to a party last night! We read Proust! It was great!"

Hmmm, partyscholars? could be a name for it?
Hahahahaha, hey, that's like the best thing happening in a party I could think of!

Yup, exactly. I do like people that are somewhat similar-ish to me, but their mental health and stability are in a much better shape haha.

Also, bonus points if they have a different, more down to earth way of thinking.

Yeah, well, I kinda used to get drawn to people who were as bad or worse than me.. fortunately that seems to have changed!

Polish speaking USA... hahaah I'd surely go over there to check it out myself if that were to be true!!!

Well, there's always stuff like Chicago. There's plenty of people over there that are of Polish blood.

Fun fact! Polish almost became Israel's official language, sincr most people were emigrants from Poland; their first sitting of the government was actually in Polish, since it was the only language everyone knew.

Ah really? wow, I think I did saw such a fact in a video on Youtube, "30 amazing things about Poland" or something, for the very brief time I considered to try and learn some words at least!!
I love fun facts!

Looks stupid looks like it's a competition then D:

looks vollidiot still winning over here! Yes, the best competition on looking stupid as possible xD

I think it's simple when the other person is not trying to impose.

Live and let live basically.

Yes unless it's annoying then I just don't talk to those people..actually that's why I don't talk to a lot of people..while I let'em live and respect them I can't stand their ways understands some things I see...

Hah, I can relate to that! I don't remember what I was coming up with as a wee child, but it surely had to be funny.
Then again, we always had two cats to act as my closest family. The feeling stayed and still persists to this day.

Awww,I didn't find the joy of having cats until... 10? Cos a random black beauty decided to give birth on our backyard, before I used to leave milk in a plate and sit afar, to watch them cats come down and drink it <3

You still had 3 beers! And probably had more fun coming back home drunk than youd have sober.>
Unless you're a sad drunk?

...Drunk with 3 beers? LOL, now now, hahaha, no, that's not how it is, to be drunk from it I'd need at least 6-7? :P

I'd be too scared to check the actual numbers xD
Hope that your measurements go well x3

Ah no, it went horrible, I cried when leaving gym and all lol. there goes my newfound positive tude..well the scale gave wild numbers, like "here, you have 5% more fat than before when you were being a lazy ass" even my coach was unimpressed, so we doing the whole thing tomorrow, with those things that measure skin folds and measurement tapes, I don't trust those machines!!!

I am guilty as charged then. When my crush came over here we were spending around 6 hours per day hugging.

Awww so you have met, that's so exciting...6 hours hugging... cringes yeah no, 6 hours doing other stuff maybe but hugging..but hey if you two are into cuddling that's sweet!!!

Well, once the happiness of living is gone, then living for the others' sake is a serviceable replacement.

What happiness of living? I'm just starting to get that feeling xD , before.. well, I was merely sorta living.

Just no to feeling empty then! That is an order!

Yes, now that I'm a "grown up" I prefer some sorrow and anger than the awful nothingness!!

Hmm..well, neutrality is much more boring than a radical opinion.

So no neutral good for you, ok gotcha!! just radicalness!!

Sounds like fun xP

Oh yes, i'm the cook in the house and the cats...they do as they please naturally.

Unless you are a druggadict or a serial killer you mean.

The first is actually fine in my book; just make sure you're alone enough so any people won't miss you.
The other is a valid point imho.

Ah no, I had an ex who was a junkie, she was soooooo annoying, I can't stand those, it's ok, they can do as they wish but no ma'am, stay away from me !! It's really something unbearable >_<
the serial killer... I do not know if I've met one... kinda prefer not to

Also good morning , it's 6:49 am!!!

errors were fixed
https://exhentai.org/s/f600b42647/1019017-1

https://exhentai.org/s/14e663398e/1019017-20

p1

I'm different from those girl
girls

p20

I always knew that I'd end up
I'd end up raping you

"I always knew that I'd end up raping you"

That has to be the most absurd thing I've ever read being said to someone in manga...wait..no it's not but it does sure come close.

Anon

Sorry, had stuff to do today. That's why I only dropped by for a second this afternoon.

It's not like I missed you or anything u_u

So, you're saying that all Mexicans are little perverts then...? (¬‿¬)
And I always thought that was an Italian privilege! ^^

No, it's a general Latin thing ;)

It is ^^ And it involves a lot of trust.

What doesn't these days? but yeah it's a bit more of that and other stuff... we may or may not get to that point of talk :P

Would anyone survive your revenge cooking, I wonder...? (◦’ںˉ◦)
And who would you use it on?

Well, someone who deserves it... can you handle spicy food?

That's the best way to go about things! Expectations are the root of every disappointment ;)

Yes, like I was expecting a good weigh in at the gym and apparently I am fatter, even though I feel I look better wtf, omg .

(＾∇＾) That almost sounds like you don't really trust your tattooist ^^ But I'm sure I'd be the same.
So, how many do you have? Tattoos, I mean. Not STDs (¬‿¬)

I trust no one with those things, you gotta be careful!! I have... 10 , I don't remember if they show clearly on here but you may take a look if you wish to https://www.instagram.com/katzedernacht22/

I know, I just expected you to put up a real fight, to keep up appearances... ^^

Ahh oh well, I'm sure I could throw you around a bit, if that's preferred xD

^^ That woman is pretty chill considering her place just got smoked XD I'm sure she'd be great at telling stories to her grandchildren! ೕ(•̀ᴗ•́)

Hahaha "and this one time, at my condo, the place was smoking but ain't nobody got time for that kids"

Well... you've figured yourself out according to what you said. So, maybe now it's time to learn how to figure other people out...? ;)

shrugs what for? I only need to figure someone if we dating or something.

I meant that your honesty probably has caused you some trouble before.
It just seems that you sometimes say things that popped up in your head right that moment. Like when you immediately mentioned your tattoos while we were actually talking about STDs ^^ I imagine that, when talking to people face to face, you're not really good at hiding your feelings either ;)
I call it clumsy because it doesn't seem to be intentional.
But it's cute.

AH YES I've got into some real shit cos I speak too damn freely and then people get butthurt or they think I'm some maniac and then I explain and I look crazier.. hence I try to just not talk much LOL .
what hiding feelings, I can burst out laughing or downright cry if I feel like it :B it's so much fun to be with me lol
yeah it's not intentional, I sometimes too late, realize what I've said and I'm just trying to escape
.
Cute? of all my cuteness that one thing is what you notice humm interesting.

... if it's me on top you will be the one enjoying the ride. If you can handle it. Once I get started it takes a lot to satisfy my appetite... I savor the things I love.

There is an american saying "talk is cheap" ^^

Got too late again here! Will reply to the rest tomorrow... See you around! (´・ω・)ﾉ
And here's a song for the night:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6maVVFs0As

yay for song, bis dann :P

last edited at Jan 16, 2017 9:49PM

I do prefer younger girls but a) not that much younger b) way more aggressive than me.

I didn't like it that the older girl forced herself on the younger one, the whole age gap with seduction and the like, that's nice, I also didn't enjoy much the whole break and rebuild, but I guess that is a standar, anyway, I like the art style and it's by far not the worst I've seen so , that's something!

well thats good! 0w0/ i like talking here for sure....and lurking ≖‿≖

lurkers rock!!

yes indeed you are the cat of the night my dear

omg that image, goes into my cat pictures folder.

heheh i suppose so ;3 never really got why its lesbians and cats and then all these gay vlogers have dogs, i mean, have what ever you want! XD i want a lizard when i was 13 loooooooool.

I love cats so,...it has to be true :P

Dominatrix cats ponders too much about that

Nah, I'm totally the opposite, I'm like an odd cat. :P

Ok... that.. was something... hmm

Neko-chan!

nah its fine XD its always intersting to meet knew people here after all (っ˘ω˘ς )

I don't know if always but the times I've talked to people, like really talk, it has been good yes Ma'am!

im a cat remember, cake would make me sick! >w< though i wouldnt mind some fish, maybe salmon? (★ω★)/

Hmmm but .. I eat no fish and I'm a cat like person too!!!

anana you stalking me on facebook now, nuaghty! ;3 ahaha jk, well i guess some other cat in this world likes citrus hehe, i don't follow them on fb im pretty sure ;0 in fact i dont follow pretty much any yuri pages on fb QwQ im a basement yuri lover ahahah so no one must ever knoooowwww ninja @w@

Not stalking xD it's just the group of people who work with Citrus :P I guess cats and lesbians and yuri just happens naturally xD

Dominatrix cats ponders too much about that

Niiiiiceeee

oh my, all the wall posts ;3
[heres my daily song for all the kitty cats, or not (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbQgXeY_zi4)

ive eating chicken today @w@ after i came back from the exam i was a bit pissed Galich might know so i jus ate to cheer myself up XD ah but tomorrow is the second exam, i feel like im gonna fail em both because of the time limit ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡

Neko chan!!

Hahaha sorry, somehow the conversations keep on getting longer..meow, I think it's the full moon, also hello!!!

eating to cheer yourself eh ;) have a slice of cake then cos it's sweet :P
I'm sure you'll kill those exams, go go Neko!!! btw I think I saw you on the Facebook on a Citrus fanpage? no, it's a group, if not it's someone with that name , Neko chan.

@Galichi

lol, tombys can be cute too , anime has proven it time over time.

Yup, so many abuse that word.. I barely curse at all, and if I have to, I stick to Russian. It's really classy to my ears.

Ohh cursing in Russian, well as you may have noticed I curse freely when I feel the need to, ^^

Haha, I'd bring my satchel bag with some book or something then xP We'd be probably the most schoolared girls out there, maybe teach a thing or two to others xD

Oh whoa, I just pictured that and it's actually awesome!! I am not sure if those other girls would appreciate it :P

A stalemate :o Pretty interesting as well how we make friends.. the entire "opposites attract" is kind of hogwash; you need at least some traits in common for a relationship to work D:

I do agree, I mean, I like reflections of myself in others, I believe that's the kind of people we attract the most, but also people who irks us and forces us to change for the better. Having NOTHING in common does not work at all, not for friends not for anything.

I can imagine it.. wish that Polish was used in other countries.. imagine a Polish speaking USA.. that would be so hilarious lol

Polish speaking USA... hahaah I'd surely go over there to check it out myself if that were to be true!!!

Well, if I got paid for that, then I'd be really really rich. Like filthy rich.

Nah not richer than me!!!

Oh, I know a thing or two about it :)

.. Ohhhh.. well we may have such conversation on the coming days if this keeps on then!!!

That's why the entire "agree to disagree" thing is so important to me ^^

I think it's simple when the other person is not trying to impose.

That's good! It means you can be really self sufficent.

Well, i did play alone a lot when growing up, making up stories with pirates and what not, I even buried an actual chest in my yard..so yeah maybe that's why I like being on my own so much.

Same here tbh. People say my sense of humour is too dark for them, but I honestly enjoy it.

It is the best kind of humour :P

Sounds like you had fun then xD

Well... I had 3 beers and went home. yeah that's my idea of fun :P

Well, I just tend to live in bliss ignorance, but I do wear belts all the time, so I at least control my waistline.
I know nothing about biology, almost failed my school year due to that.

Belts? I never use belts, I feel like a trapped cat!! but it does give you some idea I guess, I only check measurements and stuff like that..which I get today new weigh in ugh

Sometimes a hug is needed ^ ^

Some times, a brief hug is needed yes, just, my friends, they can hug each other for years.. and i'm there like ,YISUS STOP IT ALREADY why??? :P

I dunno, as I said, it's up for others to decide ^ ^

Good, I like to decide things, so I am convinced you do have a good heart.

Then again, it is kind of tossing my crush's hard work of convincing me that "living for others" is not a state of mine to be in, but seeing others happy makes me feel happy as well.

You can have both, I mean, I live and aim to thrive for me, but others being happy surely does feel nice so.. not to my expense of course, not anymore.

That was the joke, making something negative with that example xD
And it really is a unique feeling.. I believe it connects us to our inner inside; sorrow in my opinion is preferable to feeling empty.

Lol, you nailed at the negativity up, but still was kinda good so, does it become neutral? yeah sorrow does connect us with the most human part in our life sparks, feeling empty is.. shivers I can't bear that so well now so nope.

Well, good that you have the choice to not to do so; would be much worse if you ewre fored to live with them or sth.

Well, they chose not to talk to us...so naturally we just don't talk to them, I am lucky, it's just me , mom , my aunt and our cats.

Well, as long as you feel comfortable, it doesn't matter what is the life style you're living.

Unless you are a druggadict or a serial killer you mean.

Have a good night sleep and see you around nice woman!!!

Anon

You've forsaken me!!! T_T

Galichi

Sadly not, just a habit we have to refer to each other a sisters.

Ahh how cute, a real feeling of sorority going on here, I dig that.

Well, I always found it weird at how at some media foreigners put random words from their mother tangue into English.. it seems really awkward to me.

Yes and it lacks the flavour , I mean it's like ... "kurwa" we non polish speakers love that word to bits, oh yeah, it's so functional.

Sounds like me at parties then xD
Well, I gave up on attending parties for this reason alone.

Hahaha oh boy, we'd have such a good time sitting discussing Latin phrases or something.

That is pretty amusing indeed xP

Well we are so different when it comes to socialising but on others thing we are sorta similar.. so.. it's a tie!

Sounds like fun.. I haven't travelled all that much to Europe, mainly central Europe + Frace and Spain.

Yeah it was... fun.. coughs . I'd love to go to Spain cos well, I need not to put much effort trying to communicate.

Ah, I see. Actually, it still does sound every as bit as before explaining lol.
I think I'd have rather died than use a webcam these days ^_^

Hahaha,well no one was looking, it was just me here sitting.. boy I should had looked like a total moron xD
but hey 8 dollars for looking silly? No one usually pays me for that so ;)

I have, always liked philosophy and such.. we always had it cramped with Polish lessons together, so it was kind of lackluster.. I'm sure I'll have plenty of it at uni tho.

Ok when you hit nihilism we can talk a bit more about it then :P I am not as educated about it as I'd like to but I'm not dead yet so I can.

Sounds liek the right attitude! I hate hating others myself, tolerance is a double sided thing; you must respect others so they respect you.
It's like me describing my religious views: I wake up an atheist, become an agnostic during the lunch, deist in the afternoon and fully religious late at night.. it is an actual story, life really is weaaring me down this much xD

Oh whoa, your life sounds really interesting! Yeah, respect is very important, I usually disagree a lot with lots of people but that never means I'm gonna disrespect them.

In the end it's the science itself that matters, and not empty degrees.. when you can get yourself a nice diploma from Oxford without leaving your house, all degrees start becoming meaningless. Can't replace personality with plaques with empty words.

nods pondering gonna have to think this through

Ture that.. well, sometimes you use them to cheer up, sometimes to amuse them.. they serve many purposes.

Yes, sometimes to see how much better ur doing!! amusing myself luckily comes easy, I find myself hilarious.

AFAIK vodka is not that fattening, but being moderate with drinking is always a positive thing ^_^

Vodka does have calories and consuming alcohol prevents fat oxidation to a certain % :P
Girl, I log what I eat on a daily basis, I gotta watch out! then again I had 3 beers last night and it was glorious...

Happy to provide ^^

I really don't like hugs much, but at least lately I don't go away running and screaming like an insane person.

Well, I guess not stressing others so much with my mental state works for me the best.

Aww you do sound like you have a good heart, that's really nice .

That means that people around us are sadder.. but we can be sad together.. which is a good thing? Maybe? Probably not.

...Hmm better being sad together than alone!! I don't know.. I am so captivated by this particular unique feeling that melancholy is.. like.. it triggers all sorts of things in us humans, so much art being done fueled by it.. I love me sad songs and all, just now it's a bit different cos I don't feel sucked in a swirl of despair as I used to... this was supposed to be cheerful by the way.

Yup, pretty much. Well, it's even worse when you actually get along with them.. it;'s kind of "so wrong" feelings.

Hmm,things like that make me glad my family doesn't like us and we never ever talk...

I see. Well, I let those kind of friendships die on their own, but almost always they end up in a huge quarrel..

You like some quarrels huh? Well.. I try to avoid those lately, I just tell people it's not working no more..but shrugs I don't know anymore... an ex urged me to spend more time with friends..lol I guess I am really not too social

Thank you very much kind lady ^_^

gasps Haven't being called kind in ages, why thank you!

Galichi

@Katzen (almost confused your name for Kitten here.. so many cats here, Neko-chan, Blackkitty.. but Blackkitty has the privilage to be refered to as a kitten by me.. or a Sister ^_^

A sister? Is there a family on here? Yes I see it's full, it's weird, I'm used to be the only one but it's kinda cool :B

Well, I don't believe I ever had Spanish lessons ;P Although I was in Spain once.
This.. never happened.

Spain, meow, well it's ok I like seeing random Spanish.

I dunno.. I mean, I agree that some thoughts will never leave you, but some thoughts really can really take your life over. Trust me on this one.

Oh, I think I can understand that... shivers

I see.. and I didn't, the only thing I really saw were lesbian parties xD
I see.. well, I'm kind of a person that would much rather be pals with everyone than friends. It's not about being with friends for me, but being around people in general. Guess I'm just a people's person.

Ah yes, one of my friends is moving to another city to be with her love shakes head so I attended..I did not talk to the others... I kinda like to chill on the couch/corner and being left alone :D unless someone is super interesting and weird...doesn't happen often
So we are complete opposites. how amusing!! I hate small talk and pals xD

I see.. nothing from eastern Germany, so no wonder you never went here.
And a bit of Benelux? Neat-o.

Yes, I was sorta all the way on the other side. I love Europe cos everything is so close to the other places..

Sounds.. pretty interesting actually. Can I ask about how that situation came to being? ^_^

If you find that interesting you'll love the fact that I once made silly faces at my webcam for a testing software on emotion recognition through face scans... looking happy and smile for so long hurt a lot.
For the tea...it was a guy from Indonesia, they wanna expand their selling on chai tea, so, he asked me to go take pics to see how much it sold here, I get these jobs on a website.

Well, spiritualism is.. a bit unique I guess. One shouldn't be judged on their views I guess, unless they hate on others.
Well, I really cannot say if I'm spiritual or not, depands on the day for me really. I guess the only consistent part about my views is my keen interest in existentialism ^^

Ah no hate is waste, I quit the hating when I quit hating myself, hooray! existentialism hum, I am sure I've read good books about it, you should check some philosophers out ;D

I see.. well, it's all about personal satisfaction first, other things later.
Well, guess I wasn't really prepared for uni back then, plus it turned out that linguistics is not something I enjoy.. I remember from the time there those people that studied both law and Mandarin at the same time, they were seriously crazy.

law and mandarin...well yes personal satisfaction is most important but what with society Standards and silly expectations imposed upon us, that is why I quit those as well :P

It's all about those longer stories that yyou randomly bring up and they become irrelevant.. but it;'s the anecdotes that make our lives tastier :)

Maybe, ponders some anecdotes I've stopped telling though, didn't have a good flavour.

Heh, looks like you'd be in for a pretty intoxicated time ^_^ My friend from Finland that came over here spent every night getting drunk.. cannot blame him, as Krakow has some nice nightlife. Not my cup of tea, these days I intoxicate myself mostly alone or with my bff.

Oh nightlife is not suited for me, I mean clubs, but I'd have some good times, not getting too intoxicated though cos I dun wanna be fat, just a bit to enjoy the craftsmanship of the vodka.

Hugs Don't worry :)

stays very still I shall not worry !

That means we both can understand each other xD
Dunno about that, guess it's all up to others around me.. I think they do prefer me being a bit more stable.

It's very cool to have that in common eh? I mean, in a way. Humm, well I don't know, what works for you best is the right answer!

So do I; I'm well known for making a downer out of every cheerful thing ever. That's one of my skills.

Hooray !! I mean, I'm not the only one here that does that then!

Well, some of them are not that bad, it's mainly my opinion of them and what they did to others.. kind of awkward when you feel like someone's acted badly to a person you care about but they did nothing wrong to you, so you have theoritically speaking no valid reason to dislike 'em.

Ahh, i hear ya, yes well I try to sort people out based on their behaviour towards me only.. BUT if they did something really despicable to someone I do care about, they can go fry in hell.

I do! I guess that in the end those sort of things really do work for the better.
Funny thing, I never really told her, even flat out denied when she's confronted me about that at the early stages of our friendship. That's how I roll; my friendships are usually short-lived and very intense.

Yes, one day you look back and think "ahh..look at all that's improved...oh dear". short lived and intense, well that's better than maintaining relationships well past their .. i forgot the name..you know expire date?

Yup! That is the right idea. Also, coffee is delicious, that is my humble random side note.

Totally unrelated but I hope you get the uni you want ^^

Galich

@ElGato

As much as I appreciate gender bender stories, I'd prefer to remain as a gata :P though it was a very nice change there!! I'm impressed

It indeed is. I'm guessing that there's some winsdoms and knowledge that curses you with the moment you posses them, like a curse; it may enlighten your life, but it also comes with the dark side.

Oh yeah, there surely are, at least some things just won't ever leave you and you'll never be the same, which is, I think, awesome cos.. who wants to be the same forever?? Besides vampires

Sounds pretty nice, then again, I'm a really sociable personality wise, so I think I'd have died inside without having personal contact with people at my work.

Ah, sucks to hear that D: In which German city you were in?

A sociable person??? ohhhh, you are one of those then,well... if you haven't sneaked in my talking with others, it's fair you don't know, I'm so not a people's person, I really prefer to be on my own, as much as possible, sure some talk is fine..like this...but in person eh well, I see my friends once every some months..and that's enough for me.

I was all over the place, Krefeld, Hamburg, Schwarzwald, Hameln <3 , also a bit of Netherlands and Belgium

I see. Well, then I have a rough idea at how your work looks like then ^ ^

Yep, one time I had to take pictures of tea boxes at a Wal-Mart.. it never gets boring being a freelancer, ;)

Sounds really interesting.. well, my money is on the fact that we are social creatures over all, and the feeling of comfort is what brings us joy.. comforting and entrusting.> For the pain itself? Maybe it's a part of us that connects us spiritually with one another. I really don't know, my relations with spirituality are a bit.. shaky.

Humm, I am quite aware we are social creatures, some more than others thinks of herself some way less than others, I consider myself a highly spiritual person, but not the kind giving hugs and flowers around.. but I do really like that feeling, that we are all connected in this great huge universe... looks in the distance but I usually don't share much of that cos people give me weird looks and I get annoyed lol

So you've ended up studying anthropology? Interesting. During my brief stint at uni I studied Mandarin, but right now I'll be applying for history instead. Back when I was applying for unis, I had the choice between Japanese, Chinese and Swedish. I honestly don't know what came into my mind when I was applying, oh well.

Yeah, didn't finish the career cos I did not like how it went middle way... but I do not believe having a career makes anyone better or worse but that's along my high amount of unpopular opinions. Whoa Japanese is surely beautiful as well, history eh? I always liked history as well.

I see.. well, I sometimes like listening to darker music, but it's mostly New Wave for me, maybe some electronica etc. Also rock etc., but that is so vanilla it becomes boring when telling others ;P
I remember one of my classmates listening to it, but we never really got along together. A long story.

Darker music hehe, I like me some new wave as well, vanilla haha , Oh those long stories... nods in understanding

Bluebarry, cranberry, cherry, citrus, orange.. pick your poison girl ^ ^

I enjoy berries...damn I'd have to go at least stay 4 days to try them all!!

Well, the densitity does increase with every cm. That, and the feeling that the ceilings are merciless in older buildings.

Agh don't talk numbers or physics with me , I'm a words only girl, I can barely count, I dislike numbers with a passion fchhhh but shaky ceilings do sound scary

Well, thankfully my work also includes some chores related to the overall neatiness of the place, so I'm not that unfit.. guess it's the only thing keeping me away from living like the ultimate coach potato xP

Hahaha, an active work is awesome, I wanted to work in a graveyard when I was younger, mind you, it'd be a very quiet place, no people hassling me but... life took me to the freelance side.

I know that too well sadly. Thanks for the words, guess I'm still fighting, so it is not that bad, plus I really do feel much better these days. Went from unstable to feeling constantly much more down yet being stabler.. I honestly don't know if it was a good trade-off or not. At least people are no longer worried to leave me alone for long periods of time xD

Well... I am unsure... I guess stable average down is better than spikes?? I hear ya, blades were not allowed near me for a loooooong time. xD

There are many sad topics sadly.. wow, that sounded really campy. My point was that one can spin topics into sounding happy/sad as their wish once they gasp operating with words to a sufficent level.

Spin topics huh? well I'm known for making things look way worse usually, so I'd not risk that !

Trust me, all of them deserve that lol. At the very least none of them live in the same city.. I guess if one is family oriented, then that kind of attitude can sound awful to them, but it really isn't bad.

Ah no, I love my immediate family but the others,we never talk and don't intend to, they are indifferent to me, and if you hate them, I am sure there's good reason and I'm happy they are away from you.

Well, it was kind of a complicated case, I honestly don't blame her for leaving me, plus she did form a great fundation for me standing on my own feet. It was thanks to her I actually bothered to go to a psychiatrist and started to fix me own life. And she did even more solid to me by leaving me; it proved to be that much of a solid push that with said moment I've decided that I cannot live like this anymore and will try to function better for my friends.
Glad to hear you're in the happy spot now ^_^

With such 'tude I am sure that the things that the mysteries are holding for your future are nothing short of good!

Ohh we had a similar story, I mean, we weren't in a proper relationship I guess.. but the whole thing really fucking hurt, you must excuse my swearing but it's needed, and it made me realize I had to change certain things for myself cos I was sick of the same shit happening all over again. and it fucking will never happe again, you mark my words!!

By "tude" I'll safely assume you mean attitude, otherwise what on earth is going on??? Thanks, I have learnt in a very rough way I gotta have a good tude or else I'm toasted like a delicious coffee bean

@Galichi

True that. Well, people that are not wise but intelligent should know that curiosity and knowledge are positive qualities; it's those whose mental capibilities are not up the pair that don't see as such.
Then again, it's the knowledge itself that makes us feel even more and more dumber.. "I know that I know nothing" indeed.

Humm you have right there but also, when you acknowledge you know nothing you can set your life to be a never ending learning experience, both amazing and terrifying!!

Sounds pretty neat. In here, prices of things are much less smaller than the German ones; it is often that people go from Germany to cross the border for cheapter groceries.
But of course, cheap products result in less money for the people, and less being donated to the state..
I know how this feels, sort of. My father works as a freelancer translator; he keeps saying that he both has a terrible and an awesome boss. One thing is for sure, once you work at home, you never really leave your work.

Yeah I was told it's a good idea to go to Poland to fetch stuff, we didn't go cos it wasn't close enough sniffles , hehe well I like to keep my contact with other people on the just no more than needed, so not having co-coworkers or people giving me shit ,it's pure bliss!!

And what do you work as?

Hmm freelancer.. well, mostly translator but I also do transcriptions, reviews, and very random weird things lol, I'm up for anything :D

Well, the negative pain is.. negative. But always found it fascinating how some are prone to suffer. It really is fascinating and makes me question which part of the evolution has made us enjoy being tied up and at other's mercy.

Well, there's several works about that topic, is indeed fascinating, you don't see that in lions or other big animals, they don't subject themselves to such nonsense.. but the human mind is.. I wanted to study psychology for a while, cos wtf is going on? then moved to anthropology though cos.. culture itself is weird too..in a good way

Well, feel free to put up the name, I know quite a lot of people that enjoy such music.
I used to like edgy music, but with time I've switched to New Wave.

"Edgy" :P I enjoy all sorts of music but yes, edgy is more my jam, except when at the gym, then it's k pop and stuff. The band is Artrosis

That too. And it comes with many fruit flavours; I remember sending one crate of booze to my friend for Finalnd (spent roughtly 50 euros on it), only to find out that the Polish Post has manged to break the packaging.. I still cry over how much of a waste that was.

Fruit flavoured vodka??? Ok that's it, next time I'm in Europe I must go get me some of that!!!
Aghhh so much waste :(

It's also much harder to dodge if one is about to hit you right in the face ^ ^

Humm, i manage to get hit on the face by volleyball balls, or random branches or anything really, beats me how being so low here...

Well, being taller means bigger steps, so you burn less energy when walking..

Yeah but my overall body fat % would drop magically just for being taller, guess I'll have to keep hitting the gym for that fit look then sighs

I see. It's not that I feel uncomfortable speaking about that, it's just that I don't feel like talking about it right now. Posted the reason for my depression here a few times in the thread, so it really is not a mistery.
Tried to also be quite outspoken about depression, just so some guy/gal will read and try to take care of it. Wishful thinking I guess.

tilts head It's ok, we should talk about things when we feel like it, all of us, still not gonna go and look cos it feels wrong. I have had a hard time with that back in my youth, came with self harm and all the amenities... but, eventually it got better, after it was really bad.. so.. i guess what I wanna say is.. I know how it is and I hope it'll be better for ya soonish.

Yup. Imho the main difference is that with age you grow to less and less appreicate that you're on your own in this world, while having siblings; you first hate them, but learn to get along with age.

Hmm, i do think we all are on our own anyhow, but that's kinda a sad topic, well it may sound sad so I won't get into it, it's too early.

Then again, I hate most of my family, so maybe it's for the better that I have to know less people that are blood related.

_<

Ouch, sucks to hear that, especially since I lost my previous crush due to the same reason. Anxiety and depression, but it really wasn't her fault to be honest. Managed to become somewhat functional now, but I'm pretty sure that any of my chances for me ending with my crush are dead due to my mental instability ^_^
But yea, we really do have to stay strong ^^

Well... it does suck but... it's also a sign that it wasn't really meant to be, I am not saying people have to put up with my crap but if they get "scared away" like that..well , I can't assume how people feel, I'm terrible at it, but I do think some things are worth , I think I am, when I'm not being a total lunatic, which happens less and less , I have the feeling it's gone for good now, I am in a positive place in my life now...but I dunno what the future has for me! It better be fucking awesome though
raises fist strong indeed, don't wanna have those empty days rolling one after the other again, I've come to dislike such feelings.

@Galich

Heh, lack of doubt is a sign of a fool I guess.

Indeed it is, or at least lack of curiosity which is a real shame.

I don't know about the price in Mexico, but I know that my pay is so pathetic I can barely effort anything D:

Well,about double as expensive as in Germany :P , I'm a freelancer so my pay is, well, it can be very good or small, but at least I do what pleases me! that's pretty priceless

Lucky you I'd say. It's kind of like being a masochist I guess; brings you both great joy and pain, most often than not both at the same time.

Hehehe,well.. it may be cos I'm older but I much prefer to have mostly joy as opposed to pain, emotional pain anyway, but humans are tricky creatures and we kinda enjoy to suffer sometimes like that.

Well, at least you got it ;P Written words are more valuable to me than nonverbal communication.

We are on the same page on that then Miss!

I wouldn't know, I don't follow our national musical scene ;P

As expected, plus it's goth metal, I highly doubt it's your cup of tea...

This city's pretty nice imho. Kind of like pauperised Prague, but I still love it to death. It's probably the only thing keeping me in this country.

And the cheap vodka right?

The thing here is we don't reach that greener grass T_T

Don't worry, being so tall I wouldn't be able to smell it ;P

lol but you could pick an apple from a tree... assuming there's trees on this orchard...

Trades without any thinking

With such trade I'd need not to worry about losing fat so much!!!

Oh a professor..well I think maybe you should look into your.. factors.. I am guessing they gotta do with the fact that you visit your psychiatrist often? Not that you have to say, just wondering, been there done that.
Ahh a fellow only child :P well my friends were stuffed animals and books. So.. I imagine I can get what you are saying.

Well, not much I can do about that factor sadly. And yea, it is pretty much the factor connected to my depression and psychiatrist visits.
It's not a mistery, if you stick around here for sufficent amount of time, you'll get to hear it probably.

Well... I don't feel comfortable sneaking around on delicate things, for this cases, as I kinda understand from experience I only accept info that comes from the person themselves, if they do get to the point of being comfy telling me, specifically, about those issues. On other matters I do sneak around,but not on this.

Glad to hear me not being the only one then >_> Well, I'm still trying to convince myself that having no siblings is nice. Then again, the attention I was always given from my parents was amazing!

Oh I did want a twin sister growing up, I don't remember why, but then I actually value the fact I'm an only child, I don't think I would had got along well with other person here... I like to have MY own space,MY time..so yeah works out well.

Thanks! I don't like arguing myself, but.. okay, I sometimes do, but she doesn't, which is why I try to act a bit less anxious around her.

Anxiety is a real betch, I am sure it's because of that , that my former crush stopped talking to me, cos I went all insecure and anxious and weird about things.. can't blame her, but that's something that I'm improving every day and now all things are good and well. We must stay strong ^^

last edited at Jan 16, 2017 12:01PM

@Galich

Haha, the fact that I had to check it made me feel feel like like my IQ's dropped by 20 instead. Guess I am the overconfident one.

Lol, hey most people wouldn't even know enough to doubt whether they were right or not so, that's good in my book.

So am I ^ ^ I am honestly broke due to books all the time. My oldest dilema was: books or cigs. Now I can diverge all of my resources into paying for psychatrist and books, so I guess that's a win-win.

It does look like a win-win, they should sell books cheaper.. but then again, aren't they cheaper over there? I bought all Game of Thrones books in Germany for half the price I would of had paid in Mexico O_o

Me? Never!

I'll give you the benefit of doubt.

Of course, those things are useful at times. I am pretty stubborn myself. So is my crush. You can pretty much start seeing at why I've described our relationship as horribly unstable lol

Yeah well it sounds really,interesting though!! And kinda makes me feel relaxed about having no crush or anything at the moment >_<

Well, fro mwhat I've heard it's a really hard language. And I've heard plenty of it. Like a moment ago. You get the hint.

Hahahah like a moment ago, yeah I'm not good understanding body language hints but plain written ones, mostly I get'em unless it's something weird like what Americans say....

Well, English would be moer than enough in the bigger cities like Warsaw and Krakow. I live in the latter.

Krakow!! It's where my favourite band plays! in Crazy castle? or some metal music festival!! fangirling a bit

Well, they say that the field is greener on the other side ;P

The thing here is we don't reach that greener grass T_T

My optimal height would be 150 - 160 cm. Short girls are just too nice >_>

Wanna trade my 153 then? :B

Well, sadly, it's more like others preparing them, and I'm just fixing that they look like what the company wants them to look as.
Doesn't really matter that much, I wanna be back at uni ASAP. Wanted originally to become a professor, but there might be some.. factors that will lead to me being unable to become one.
Heh, I am the only child of my parents and instead of friends I had my parents' friends. Made me this much of a bore as I am currently.

Oh a professor..well I think maybe you should look into your.. factors.. I am guessing they gotta do with the fact that you visit your psychiatrist often? Not that you have to say, just wondering, been there done that.
Ahh a fellow only child :P well my friends were stuffed animals and books. So.. I imagine I can get what you are saying.

I'll take your word ^ ^

Well, now she'll think I'm crazy. Which I guess I'm pretty okay with. But she's a nice girl.. but at the same time maaaybe I'll get a payrise due to the fact she'll be scared of me..
Cheers! I'll try to be a good girl xP

hahahaah a payrise, yeah I'd pay more to someone if I suspected they may or may not turn on me! I wish you and ur crush happiness and less conflict, unless you both like that, cos some people do.. I don't get it, but I don't get most people's things..