this really is the funniest shit ever posted in this site
pseudosmug
Feb 11, 2026 2:47AM
[extremely violent exhale]
jaggyd
Feb 11, 2026 9:06AM
Yeah, I'll never get my red wings.
That said, I've always been curious if vampires would get nourishment from period blood.
Zesc
Feb 11, 2026 12:23PM
^ ...just what's wrong with you people that such questions keep coming up?
Anyway, using the same reference as my previous work, I am skipping most of the numbers (mostly because my maths isn't mathing and I somehow get at 43 kcal/100ml when it should be 86 for women's blood???) but a normal period is around 30-40 ml, only half of which is actually blood. The rest is mucus, lubrication and lining of the uterus.
As a very rough approximation, let's assume the mucus is 0 kcal, and the shed tissue is pure protein, both mixed half-half, giving essentially the same caloric value as blood above. You should end up with something around 33-ish kcal per menstruation. (That's a third of a pear, or 1.65% of your recommended daily intake.)
Now, if your vampires can drink blood from blood bags, then this works too. It isn't like the blood goes stale or anything. Unless they can't eat anything else, then other half might cause problems (imagine it as eating a mix of snot and raw meat).
But haematophagy is historically a pretty recent addition to the vampire myths. They used to be much closed associated with directly feeding on life-force (for example the Nachzehrer here in Germany), either through cannibalism or by spreading disease. In that case, it's really dependant on their individual MO. An orgasm can leave you feeling pretty drained, after all.
zeton
Feb 11, 2026 11:59PM
^ Thank you for your service
Roodypatooti
Feb 12, 2026 8:46PM
Ryo: it's free calories
Issun69
Feb 13, 2026 2:56AM
Took me embarrassingly long to get the gag here. Gross but pretty funny too.
Yasako
Feb 13, 2026 4:33PM
there is like a sliding scale of freshness, day 2-3 period blood will be the freshest (it also has the most volume). Never settle for inferior quality groceries
last edited at Feb 13, 2026 4:33PM
coolsnail
Feb 13, 2026 5:53PM
get a girl with a really heavy one for best results
sujeon Feb 10, 2026 1:36AM
this is the funniest shit ever oh my god
Zormau Feb 10, 2026 7:08AM
What was the line, "A true pirate doesn't fear the Red Sea"?
Itsy Bitsy Spooder Feb 10, 2026 9:47AM
^ "Only a knight who hasnt fought has no blood on his sword"
luinthoron Feb 10, 2026 2:24PM
O_O
Aureole Feb 10, 2026 6:10PM
https://dynasty-scans.com/images/31621?tag_id=24284
17hunter00 Feb 11, 2026 12:39AM
this really is the funniest shit ever posted in this site
pseudosmug Feb 11, 2026 2:47AM
[extremely violent exhale]
jaggyd Feb 11, 2026 9:06AM
Yeah, I'll never get my red wings.
That said, I've always been curious if vampires would get nourishment from period blood.
Zesc Feb 11, 2026 12:23PM
^ ...just what's wrong with you people that such questions keep coming up?
Anyway, using the same reference as my previous work, I am skipping most of the numbers (mostly because my maths isn't mathing and I somehow get at 43 kcal/100ml when it should be 86 for women's blood???) but a normal period is around 30-40 ml, only half of which is actually blood. The rest is mucus, lubrication and lining of the uterus.
As a very rough approximation, let's assume the mucus is 0 kcal, and the shed tissue is pure protein, both mixed half-half, giving essentially the same caloric value as blood above. You should end up with something around 33-ish kcal per menstruation. (That's a third of a pear, or 1.65% of your recommended daily intake.)
Now, if your vampires can drink blood from blood bags, then this works too. It isn't like the blood goes stale or anything. Unless they can't eat anything else, then other half might cause problems (imagine it as eating a mix of snot and raw meat).
But haematophagy is historically a pretty recent addition to the vampire myths. They used to be much closed associated with directly feeding on life-force (for example the Nachzehrer here in Germany), either through cannibalism or by spreading disease. In that case, it's really dependant on their individual MO. An orgasm can leave you feeling pretty drained, after all.
zeton Feb 11, 2026 11:59PM
^ Thank you for your service
Roodypatooti Feb 12, 2026 8:46PM
Ryo: it's free calories
Issun69 Feb 13, 2026 2:56AM
Took me embarrassingly long to get the gag here. Gross but pretty funny too.
Yasako Feb 13, 2026 4:33PM
there is like a sliding scale of freshness, day 2-3 period blood will be the freshest (it also has the most volume). Never settle for inferior quality groceries
last edited at Feb 13, 2026 4:33PM
coolsnail Feb 13, 2026 5:53PM
get a girl with a really heavy one for best results
YuriLover21 Feb 14, 2026 3:48AM
Was looking for Yuri and found gold