^ I don't really mind Seju/Nami pairing as long as it's done nicely. Seju is so in love and obsessed with Sumin that I can't see her hook up with Nami that easily. To be fair, Nami is the only one who can get under her skin. She wasn't even ruffled by her family anymore but Nami seems to be able to annoy the heck out of her lol.
About the chapter, I don't quite understand Seju's thoughts though. She said she wanted Sumin to come back, but in the last pages, she said she wants her to suffer more so that everytime she comes back to her, Sumin will hate her?? I didn't know she's such a masochist. And why would she wish that Sumin will hate her, shouldn't she like hope that Sumin will come back to love her? Either she's got such a massive self-loathing going on or Sumin doesn't really hate her(that's why she's wishing for Sumin to hate her??) but can't forgive her all the same and Seju wants to repent for her sins so much. I dunno I'm lost.
I was also confused by Seju's thought in this chapter and I ended up thinking almost like you.
Like, maybe Seju hates herself so much for making that dumb mistake that she feels she deserves Sumin's hatred; it could be that for hurting Sumin in the past, Seju thinks she deserves being hurt by Sumin too. In this way, Seju could be looking to repent herself.
Or Seju knows that Sumin can't let go of her, because deep down Sumin can't really hate Seju enough. So maybe despite all her love, Seju wishes Sumin could hate her for real and never come back. Maybe that way, both of them would be free of a relationship that never got a proper closure and still haunts both of them.
Or... Seju is so fucked up that she would rather be hated than ignored and forgotten by the person she loves. Just like someone said a while ago, the only love Seju ever received was from Sumin, which makes her hold it too dear to be able to let go. It can sound crazy and obsessive, but maybe in Seju's mind the opposite of love isn't hate, but apathy.
There could be other explanations, but I could only think on those three. What makes me sad is that in all of those possibilities, Seju remains a pitiful person. And I really don't like feeling pity for anyone.
I was also confused too. The first thing came to my mind was that Seju must be a masochist. :D
I think perhaps Seju decided to make Sumin hate her because she didn't have any hope that Sumin would ever love her again. Some people said "Love and Hate are bedmates." Loving or Hating can produce conflicts, fear, and uncertainty. Seju might want to put Sumin in a situation such that "I hate you so much because of how vulnerable I am to you. How I can let you control my feelings? And, I feel I've lost control."
Or because Seju knew that Sumin wanted to love and be loved, but didn't want to be hurt again, she decided to give Sumin a relationship in which Sumin could keep one foot in the water, and the other safely out, on the sand. This relationship could keep Sumin protected. Like she said "In a relationship we don't need to break up. Being side by side with no reason to get hurt." If Sumin kept hating her, then they could still be in this kind of relationship; dissatisfied, but protected.
last edited at Mar 17, 2016 11:24AM