I gotta be perfectly honest, there's a lot in the story that confused me, especially at the beginning. Not going into too much detail, but even by the end of the story I don't know who the people she meets every day are, little if anything about the setting, and not that much about the two girls either. The verbal fencing between them was nice, and the bits at the arcade and apartment flowed pretty well although there were times they seemed to do things unexpectedly.
My intentions with this one was to build the characters entirely from their interactions, Date had no idea who the hell that girl was so i didn't tell a single thing about her when they first meet and only let things get more clear from the conversations they have, in the grand scheme of things there's still a lot that they don't know about each other so i didn't show much from their lives and personalities when not talking with each other, that's the sort of thing they would learn later, the idea is how they got together even though they barely met and let the readers know about them just as much as they know about eachother except for the bits with Date and her friends
The same can be said about the world they live in, there's a convoluted explanation why they live among stickmens and dinossaurs and why the sun is all cartoony, but that isn't relevant this time, it's just the world where they live
The art makes me think of the really oldschool stuff that western fans made based on anime and such back in the early 90s, the way the faces, bodies and hair were drawn, plus the heavy blacks. Not sure if that was deliberate, but it felt kind of nostalgic that way.
I am indeed quite inspired by some old artists like Shingo Araki, i was actually quite curious at how the art would be recepted in a yuri with them spiky hairs and more shonen'ish style
Certainly good for an early attempt in any case, although you really should take none's comment to heart and study up on your anatomy and structure leading up to your next project. The more of that you can do, the better your results will be.
I certainly intend to improve myself, drawing comics is interesting 'cause it's most likely you'll end up drawing things that you don't normally draw in a standby drawing, though in this one i didn't really draw the most creative panels I did have a lot of fun drawing the arcade stuff, since it was the closest to an action scene this ever got to
last edited at Jun 3, 2015 10:52PM
