My heart just crack a little

This story made my soul gem turn black.

Nez whenever I see your comments on here I just know I am going to laugh.

Can we please stop comparing this to Strawberry Panic and look at it on its own individually. First this is supernatural, second Umiyuri looks totally different from Shizuma cause she appears to be evil on that cute innocent adorable body. I saw no damn rings in the anime or at least nagisa owning a ring that was connected to Shizuma. I also dislike some of the concepts in Strawberry panic cause yaya and tamao were left as side characters with no happy ending. I do have to admit that if the author wouldn't have mention etoile this wouldn't have been compare to strawberry panic. Also Yozora appears to have been a lesbian and obviously is dying to kiss Umiyuri when Nagisa has a different personality. Sekai the composer looks nothing like tamao thus is more tomboyish and boy! she capture my attention since in the beginning i didn't like short hair girls to be the protagonist but her personality is amazing , tamao is more girlish and delicate. They even added Kagami as a side character, when there was no kagami in strawberry panic. Towa does remind me of Aname and I am so glad there is no hikari. I like strawberry panic don't get me wrong but I just see a different variety and story in this, can we just give it a chance. Also I hope Yozora stays with Sekai. They are meant to be.

Is this supernatural though? The deal about stealing their abilities may be just a slang for "she f*cked them so hard they can't even speak anymore"
We could even say Strawberry was supernatural since Shizuma has the super power of making fragile girls become paralyzed whenever she wants
And the comparison to the ring thing is the necklace that the etoiles in strawberry uses, kind of forcing the bar there
I mean, at least it's not an engaging system... Jesus Christ
But yeah most of the comparisons are because of the name etoile and that they're predators, Nagisa looks more of a strong protagonist than this one here (Again, most of the "heads over heels" moments Nagisa had at the beginning was because of Shizuma's super power, this one here looks like a fangirl in both body and soul, like the one in Nobara)

You also forgot about the whole brushing aside the fact that everyone just happens to be a lesbian. While it is nice in some occasions I find that to blatantly ignore such a huge thing like that is flabbergasting. It feels strange and unrealistic without any reason why everyone is okay with it and/or is a lesbian. It is also one of the reasons why Girlfriends and similar mangas are my preferred stories.

I find this adorable but also a tad bit weird. Cute, but creepy.

Also anyone else thing this should have a Lynette x Miyafuji tag? I would suggest it but I don't know how to create a completely new tag as that one doesn't exist.

So did they just publish their rough draft or something?

It is definitely very rough, but I think it was meant to be quick sketchy feel.

Story was cute though.

Seems interesting. I'm a little worried this might end up a lot like Strawberry Panic! in which they treat the lesbian aspect of it so lightly it loses a lot of strength. Still looks promising for a first chapter.

F. U. C. K. I. N. G. G. R. E. A. T.

I'm glad you like it! I wrote it at 3 am so I was unsure of how well it was written. I was also bored and did one based of someone's comment about Dowman on Cat Gravity. I do have to say that one is much more.... disturbing. (They called Dowman a cute psychopathic cannibal that wore a cat mask. I wrote my mental image of that.) Plus it is good practice for me to do this!

Now if we could find a drawer to put this into images.

Now I can draw, but it might take me forever or 2... I would end up hating everything until it looked EXACTLY like the art style. I am weird like that...

Ooookayyy... now, you definitely succeeded, kingsmexy! Makes me wish I didn't give you this idea, hehe, I'm definitely creeped out. Gotta say I liked your other one (for "Getting Used to Being Friends") better, but I guess that conforms with your intentions. :)

Heh heh heh yeah I do as well! Though this one was a lot more fun to write!

I'm glad you like it! I wrote it at 3 am so I was unsure of how well it was written.

That was great writing :O

I am an aspiring author so... :D I just felt this story needed a little push... I am working on an original story if anyone wants to take a look.
(Shameful self-promotion http://kingsmexy.deviantart.com/art/Life-Isn-t-Always-Great-Chapter-1-440952454?q=gallery%3Akingsmexy&qo=0)

F. U. C. K. I. N. G. G. R. E. A. T.

I'm glad you like it! I wrote it at 3 am so I was unsure of how well it was written. I was also bored and did one based of someone's comment about Dowman on Cat Gravity. I do have to say that one is much more.... disturbing. (They called Dowman a cute psychopathic cannibal that wore a cat mask. I wrote my mental image of that.) Plus it is good practice for me to do this!

This one need an extra page with the blond girl saying "alright, but I invite you as my bride", then true happy ending. ><

I love this idea.... XD

Here is just something I am coming up with on the spot.

"....Yeah," I answered. I could feel the pressure begin to well up behind my eyes, but still Chinatsu just kept grinning. It's like she didn't even see my pain. It was all too much, and soon warm tears ran down my face. Of course, that got her attention.

"What's wrong?" she asked in that tone that had just the perfect amount of affection and energy.

I opened my mouth to speak my mind, but only air came out. I tried again, but only achieved the same results. Instead, I choose a lie. "I'm alright..."

"No you're not! You're crying!" She said, pointing out the obvious.

A few deep breaths and two wet sleeves later, I managed to control the tears, but still she would not let it go.

"Why were you crying?"

"No reason..." I shook it off. Just how could I tell her I wanted her to be my bride? My closest friend. No, my best friend. My crush. I could feel the pressure again, and I fought to keep it in control.

"I just wish I could meet the right guy already," and the tears spilled out again. "Eh? Something is obviously wrong!"

'Of course there is!' I thought to myself. The girl of my dreams is talking about wanting someone else besides me! Why wouldn't I be sad?

"Is it a guy?" I shook my head. "Than who is it?"

'You!' I screamed in my head, but only a whimper actually came out.

"Who?" she repeated.

It took every ounce of my strength not to yell her name, instead I shook my head.

"Tell me!" she begged and I felt myself lose control.

"You..." I mumbled.

"Huh?"

"I want to marry you!" I shouted.

Her eyes were wide with shock as she stared at me in disbelief. I could see that she wanted to pass it off as a joke, but I wouldn't let her.

"I want you to be my bride..." I'd lost most of the courage, but somehow I managed to keep talking. "I love you... I am so very in love with you. I want to kiss you, hold you, and... love you..."

I couldn't look up. I knew what expression she'd be wearing disgust, horror, fear, or maybe all of the above; I was surprised when I did look up to find her looking down at me, not with disgust or horror, with interest in her eyes.

"Want to give it a try?" she said pointing to her lips.

I knew I was probably going to get hurt, but such thoughts were in the back of my mind. After all, she could like it too...

(Sorry if you don't like it. I just felt like writing, and I've got a case of writers block for my story. So I decided to do this.)

last edited at Mar 14, 2014 6:10AM

In this case, perhaps he really does wear a cat mask in real life? Like, you know, a cannibalistic yet "cute" psychopath?

This.... I don't even... Now I can't get it out of my mind.

Dowman clambered down into his favorite chair, the one made of the bones of his past meals, as he set his plate down on the table. There adorned on the plate was a human heart, it's owner sitting against the wall, eyes wide with emotionless terror. As he glared down at the muscle he could feel his mouth water. He just had to have a bite. Cutting the heart was like cutting into a tough slice of beef, but after some work he had himself a moderate sized slice. Little drops of red spilled out onto the plate as he hoisted the piece towards the hole in his large cat mask. Still you could see his grinning browned teeth through the little bits of light that happened illuminate it. One red drop fell onto his porcelain white chin as he put the fork into his mouth. Eyes closed as he savored the warm flavors rushing over his taste buds. He released the fork from his mouth as he began to chew the piece. Using his free arm he wiped his face, smearing the red from his chin to his cheek. A second later, a swallow and the cutting of another slice. It wasn't everyday he got to eat the warm heart of his fans.

Alright if you aren't severely disturbed right now I don't know what to say. Hope you cringed in disgust with that mental image! (Or enjoyed it if you like that)

last edited at Mar 14, 2014 5:35AM

I don't Akina's friends are fooled about her and Kaede.

I don't think anyone is.

It feels like I'm missing out on some information here...

Could someone explain me please the whole "I'm so glad" thing? is there any cultural relevance, massive hint or something that I missed, or it's just some strange way of foreshadowing

I'm stupid like that

She's talking to someone on the phone (Her mom) they are talking before we can actually here what is said. It is most likely her being thankful her mom is fine or something. As in I'm so glad you're alright.

After rereadng parts of this I have come to the conclusion that this can only not be Yuri under one condition. Kaede is actually a guy. ONLY WAY. There is no other way you can pass off ANY of this other than that. So here is to hoping Kaede has nothing down there that a girl shouldn't have.

Really nice and all but... you know... shouldn't she... uh... call the cops before they arrest her for kidnapping? I mean it is sweet and cute and makes me happy but that is kind of bothering me... Anyways it is a good read!

She said she was too calm to be lost and i agree - in the rain like that in night clothes- its more like she was abandoned or something- we often see in manga were parents just sod off and leave kids.

Ofcourse in RL she should call the cops like she says, but if she can persuade her parents to let her stay, and nobody is looking for her - in anime thats good enough :)

Or just apply to adopt? Especialy since at the end she starts talking and can tell them what she wants.

True... but just to be safe I think it would be best... Still a sweet story and definitely on my list of favorites (My head canon is after the manga ends she calls the cops find out that the girl's parents were abusive or something and whala she now has a cute adorable sister (Psuedo-Incest though I never had too many qualms with that over incest which I avoid for the most part))

Sigh Besides the dad part, I really wish that Ga-Rei zero was really like that. Damn anime made me cry. Did the manga at least have a happy ending with these two characters? At least in a sister-sister way?

A bit late of a response but the anime is actually a prequel to the manga. So that should answer your question.

Being what I said earlier I would LOVE a sequel in which they do start to develop more intimate feelings for each other.

You know I am just adding to what everyone is already saying but I have to agree what little Yuri in here is not enough to justify the tag. Sure it was in a yuri magazine, but that doesn't make it explicitly yuri.

On another thought completely it could go under a new tag like "Realizing Sexuality" or something. But then again a lot of yuri and almost yuri stories would have that tag.

I'm thinking this going absolutely nowhere very slowly... But sometimes those are the best! I couldn't stop grinning like an idiot!

A decent read and at some points I found it confusing. There are just too many characters that it follows at some points, but as it got to the last few chapters things start to pull together. Eventually it does have a nice ending. (Somewhat but I won't spoil it by explaining my reasoning.)

I just... I don't... That dad.... That dad is... strange. Strange indeed... I am going to go and curl up in a corner and hope to forget that last panel or three.

Good but the ordering of pages needs to be fixed. 10, 11, and 12 are in the middle and not the end.

Edit: Ordering is fixed now.

last edited at Feb 22, 2014 4:18AM

I have to agree with what was mostly said here. Any relationship with the fortune teller would be pretty one sided, IMO. Yes it is a bit sad, but I feel as if it were a good happy end as well. They never really had the connection the fortune teller suggests in the beginning it was just the twisted reality she wanted. It was give advice and take advice only. Sure they were familiar with each other, but it was a love that would most likely never bloom. Anyway that's just my opinion.

I love the brother at the end! He's just like "She dun broke"