It's so suffering being Koto.

Imagine if you were in her shoes:
You fell so hard for a girl that you weren't be satisfied anymore to just stay friends. You confessed to her one day afternoon when walked home with her. She was confused and shocked then trying to avoid the subject so desperately. You knew immediately the girl didn't feel the same way. You cried all day night in your bedroom considering giving up. However, all the efforts and decisions faded away when you saw her smiling at you like always when you went to school next day. You found you still hopelessly loved her with all your heart. If she tells you to jump, you would happily die for her without any contempt. She was treating you like the confession never happened and playing dumb whenever you implied you still like her. But somehow she gave you the impression that she had been moved by your confession. And she's glad you are the one who always tried to find her.

Two months had passed since you confessed to her. She was so popular that you sometimes would witness her being confessed when you managed to find her. Though she had refused all of them, that's no assurance she wouldn't want a relationship one day. Plus the look she had when she's looking somewhere like she didn't really belong here. To think she might be taken away from you, you couldn't hold you back anymore. You went straight to her and confessed again. She doubted whether you had thought it through since it would be the second time you confessed. You leaned forward and kissed her on the lips to show your seriousness. But after doing so, you couldn't look her in the eyes in fear of facing another refuse. After a long time of silence between you two, she gently touched your hair and said she would go out with you. That day was crazy. She even told you she also looked forward to the Tanabata festival which the lovers swear eternal love to each other. You took a small run on your way home even though you always hated running. You just couldn't help it. Why this all feel so good to be true. The girl of your dreams actually loves you back. If it was a dream, you would never want to wake up.

But something you would never know… Your another childhood up to no good friend who secretly in love with you for god knows how long times ago can't take it normally and go lash out at the girl you loved even though this coward never dares telling anyone how she feels about you.

The Tanabata day finally came, the first time you thought yourself enjoy waiting. But she never came. That's not even the worst, the girl had vanished from the earth like she never exist. She might have been dead or merely run away from home. Either way, it's so pathetic if you kept waiting for her to come back. You had tried nearly anything you could do to move on by dating a bunch of people but it turned out you always craved for her more. Your heart couldn't let go. After the last try being turning down by your childhood friend, you gave up. She will always be the love of your life even with the fact she had gone.

Time flows without mercy. It have been been seven years since the day turning your life into hell. She showed up out of the blue looking exactly the same as she was back then. It couldn't…but it happened. Just like she had been spirited away all those years. Things got really easy due to your life experience being far more greater than a teenager. You used a little trick to let the girl confess to you. You took her in after resuming your relationship.

Since this time she is the one asking you to be together, she wouldn't want to go anywhere, right? Oh, she still has that lonely looks sometimes, does she still chooses to drift away regardless? You are so scared. She is so adorable and fascinating. There's no guarantee she will keep loving you while you already knew you would never stop loving her even if you want. You can't even claim the girl as your girlfriend in front of anyone cause they would call you a pedo then dialing 911 right on the spot. (To think some audience who know the whole story would do exact the same thing lol) You want to kiss her, want to do lover things with her. At least it would alleviate your anxiety. But you know you can't because she hasn't grown up both in body and mind. She is a 14 yo child while you are an adult. You have to wait at least 2 years.

Even without any help, she still managed to find a part time job and tried to catch up on you by studying hard. She always like that, moving forward too fast to notice you had been left behind. Like it wasn't bad enough, your childhood friend recommended her to a play audition. She said she wanted to have a try and got that role, unsurprisingly. You couldn't even hide your disappointment before her anymore. She asked you what's wrong with an innocent smile. You thought it's time to tell her your feelings and fears. However, she couldn't take it well to the idea of just staying by your side and ran away. You called your childhood friend to calm her down since you know there's only limited places she can go.

You had been sleeping on her pillow since then, knowing she wouldn't come home so easily. However, not before long you found she's smiling at you on the bed you shared with her, asking you why you take a nap in the evening. You were so happy she came back that you gave her a big hug. Then apologize to her that you shouldn't treat her like a kid. She said she wants to know what happened in that seven years without her. Of course, how could you tell her you dated a bunch of people after she was gone just to fill the loneliness. You will never want her to know this side of you. Then she told you the relationship needed to end since you have changed. She loves you but there's still things needed to be done. You couldn't bear to see her cry, couldn't really force or do anything to hurt her. She dumped you and leave you alone in your apartment. You felt really sick but all you can do is expect she somehow chang her mind and come home. She can't live with your childhood friend forever, after all.

Two days had passed since she left. The bell rang as you predicted. You sprinted to open the door only to be faced with your childhood friend. Yeah. You remember now you had told her that you are not feeling ok when she called you. You don't want to be alone so you let her in. You think your childhood friend is the only one in this world who can truly understand you. However, she was letting the girl you love move out from her home and scolded you for being too fixated on the ideal that only exist seven years ago.

Can Koto become more miserable? God. Please just let her be with Aya in the end.

Also, Erika go to hell. l hate you with all my heart.