After rereading ch 210 like 3 times I finally got what’s going on. Mask wanted really badly to be the “lucky one” who was the cause of all the good things that happened: the rain stopping, the green lights. But as the events progressed and the lights threatened to turn green on her and a car came by and splattered her and everyone except Kaoru, she realized Kaoru was the special one, not her. Mask seems to have this desire to be special and exceptional.
Put another way, Mask seems to be incredibly jealous of people who can move through life with ease. Onobi, who seems to pop up new and innovative ideas every single day because that’s just who she is. Kaoru, who moves through life gracefully and unaffected. They’re the people “who have it”. “It” being talent. In contrast, Mask struggles a lot with her art and finding inspiration. She’s not any more graceful than any of her classmates. She struggles, and when surrounded by people who seem to do the things she wants to do with ease, she gets feels inferior and inadequate.
But she’s able to put a ripple in that. She has this profound effect on Kaoru where she’s able to disrupt that god level of grace. Perhaps part of her is relieved by that. But I also think part of her is disappointed because she holds “special” people up as untouchable geniuses who she cannot be. Mask definitely has a few issues left to work out.
She’s starting to see Kaoru’s special side as well as all the flaws she initially saw. She’s beginning to respect Kaoru a little bit more because of that, or at least acknowledge Kaoru has peaked her interests.
Maybe Mask begins to see Kaoru as a way to reach the genius place because she can see Kaoru is affected by Mask.
I think once Mask finally achieves something with the help of Kaoru as her inspiration, or once Mask finally sees her idols as humans with flaws just like her, she might be able to move forward with Kaoru.
last edited at Dec 10, 2020 10:12PM
