Well, I'm going to be THAT person... I like both this and Citrus. Although this one's more realistic.
As someone who's in a relationship with a very body-shy person, not asexual, but very shy with his body and not comfortable with sex. I really had to make "it" happen, the first time, the second, and so on. And I'm not proud of it. But I definitely can say it is very possible to be in this kind of relationship for a long time. We've been together for more than 6 years (ever since we were 16), never have much sex, and I have "permission" to have it with other people if I ever really feel the need. After all, love is love, sex is sex, and if everyone agrees with it, why not?
And well, I have permission but I ever did it with other people, after all these years my sex urges only appear once in a while.
To me sex is the ultimate expression of love, so yeah i'd never be able to be on this kind of relationship
not judging, just sayin'
seconded, to me if you are in a relationship with someone yet you can have sex with others just as easily what truly separates your significant other from all those other people? to me you can say you love another all you want but words are words, they can be powerful but at the same time they can go without meaning so at the end of the day in that kind of relationship what makes the other person special? hell i would give my life for some of my best friends so that cant be it, plus i share a flat with my (sadly straight but hot) friend (if she saw me writing this she would kill me) so thats not it either, then again as an eva geek i was exposed to this line: "the interaction between men and women is so illogical" so that probably has something to do with it again not judging at all
Of course, everyone is different. I was just giving an example on how it can work in real life.
To me, love is something you can't really describe. But imagine, you like someone and you learn they don't like sex. If you think about it and decide not to pursue that relationship, it wasn't love. But if you do, and put up with having less sex or none, depending if they're pure asexual, non-pure asexual (as in they can have sex with you, but not every day/week/month or so) or merely body-shy and with low self-esteem (our case), then I think it's love. Specially because those people matter to you than most. I mean, if I ever disappointed someone in sex (I'm a noob at it, so to say) I wouldn't care much. But when it happens with my boyfriend, and it happened, believe me, I get depressed for weeks. Sometimes I think that's it's my fault that he's not into sex, he's afraid of it not working out, that it's better doing nothing. Getting chubby in college and me, as a girl, attracting more girls than him, just worsens it. But it's not like I went to this "open" relationship with a contract, it just happened that, after being in a relationship for 6 years (the first 3 as virgins) and having about once or twice a year something more "intimate", we talked like two adults and told ourselves that if any of us (it wasn't something tailored to me, the "hungrier one") needed to experience some things outside the relationship, we had permission. Of course, I'd ask before doing anything.
But what works with some people, doesn't work with most, I'm afraid. Most of the friends I have that had the same problem, simply gave up on the relationship and moved on. Except my best friend and his boyfriend, who broke up for a while, had other boyfriends for a couple months, then came together again and their sex life has been better. And now I look like a perv for knowing these things o.O
Also, this conversation is reminding me of people saying I loved my mother less than my brother, only because I'm not as "physical" as him, as I don't really like hugging and kissing people, specially family. No offense, believe me :)
Oh, and as an EVAGeek myself wink wink, I can say that line is so true. But, as a bisexual, I can also say that so is the interaction between two women. Basically, people are complicated, and relationships are even more.
And, wow, this is huge, I wasn't planning on writing this much.
