Years ago, i fall in love with my roommate. Even though she obviously make a move on me, like always insist to sleep together on my bunker bed, kiss my face everyday, show jealousy toward my friends and being super clingy, I still couldnt bring myself to believe that she liked me back.
I keep think maybe that just the way she treat her close friend. After all, i know she have many ex-bf and guys can never leave her alone. More over i am an Asian. In my country -Indonesia- this feeling is a sin, even now in 2016 its considered as an infectious disease. I dont know how western people deal with homosexual feeling, but in Asia -till nowdays- its not something easy to accept.
Honestly, I thought it was a wise decision to not pursue her. Female friends can get overly clingy, and that always makes us confused about their intentions, whether they're super friendly or they're giving us the green light. But, in our country, you've got to thread carefully. NEVER EVER reveal to someone that you're gay unless you're 10000% they're LGBT themselves. Once you're exposed to the public that you're gay, all hell goes loose. You're finished. Seriously. This is a very hypocritical and muslim-dominated country, therefore it's only logical that the majority will push for Muslim beliefs, namely the prohibition of LGBT acts. I'm not Muslim myself, so I cannot tell you whether it was actually written in the AlQuran or not. Also, now that the election of political parties are nearing, some of the candidates have begun speaking about how Anti-LGBT they are. Then, it sparked and everyone began discussing about LGBT and their rights. Good right? Except, I don't know if it was bad timing or sth, but around the time when lots of articles about LGBT began popping up, cases like Jessica & Mirna (alleged lesbian relationship gone wrong), Saipul (Singer turned gay pedophile), and Bekti (TV Host turned gay sex offender) were the spotlight of the media. Now, LGBT are linked with psychopaths, and pedophiles in public eye. Now, politicians begin to be more strong opinionated about being Anti-Gay. In US, being LGBT friendly is how you get votes, but here, it's completely the opposite. What I'm saying is that different countries are different in many ways, whether it's the government, culture, the people, and the laws. You and I are in a homophobic country, that's why we mustn't be so brash about our sexuality. Always try to hide it and never expose yourself
