I think she genuinely wants the former, but also can’t help hoping for the latter. But I think that’s very normal for anyone who has held onto an unrequited love for this long. Even if you were the kindest person ever. I don’t think that makes her untrustworthy.
She feels untrustworthy to me because the way she framed the conversation seemed kinda manipulative. She never really asked Koto how she feels about Aya right now. Rather, she said "if you moved on already, you have to make it clear." Koto never said she moved on so why is Erika going there from the get go? It feels like she's pushing Koto in that direction in a moment when Koto hasn't even figured out her feelings yet. That's not what a good friend would do imo.
But you're free to disagree. These are just my impressions. It's not like anything is confirmed just yet.
EDIT: By the way, another thing I realized after reading the chapters again is that Erika lied to Aya in chapter 2. When Aya told her she and Koto had started dating, Erika said "I already knew." However, in chapter 3 she told Koto she found out they were dating from Aya just now. I don't think she would lie to Koto so I think she lied to Aya. But why? What's the point of lying about something so insignificant? It just made her look petty.
I think grandpa may have been distant/emotionally unavailable and she may have been neglected. But they haven’t delved into it yet so who knows. Aya doesn’t seem like someone who carries a huge amount of trauma imo, so I’d like to think the abuse didn’t run deeper. But again we shall see.
Aya did seem like she was carrying some trauma back in chapter 1 though. And also, she had a clear sense of relief when she found out her grandfather was dead. Look at this dialog:
Erika: It was a shame, you know, about your grandpa
Aya: You're wrong, Erika. The first thing that came to my mind was that it was finally over.
If you look at Aya's line on its own, then yes, various interpretations are possible. But when you add Erika's line and Aya's reply, things start to feel like there's something fishy going on. Erika said "it's a shame" and Aya's like "you're wrong, it's not a shame, it's finally over." So there's something deeper going on here. Hopefully we'll get more clues soon enough. Maybe when Aya and Koto have their date. I'm looking forwards to that.
last edited at Sep 30, 2023 8:22PM