Forum › Trying Out Marriage With My Female Friend discussion

joined Sep 22, 2015

Marriage can mean many different things to many different people, but I don't think anyone conceives of marriage as two opposite, financially independent people who live completely separate lives, spend very little time together, with no physical intimacy, and nothing else tying them together (like kids or family pressure or immigration status).

This kind of marriage you speak of is actually very plausible, especially in a society like Japan, where marriage due to convenience or societal pressure is a definite option. Based on my own circle of married Japanese friends and acquaintances, I cannot tell you how many of them have told me how convenient “marriage” can bring to their social lives. One told me she still has her single life and isn’t bothered by pesky questions of “when will you get married?” anymore. Another told me having a wife means a promotion. I even had a friend who I never knew was married for a long time! They led completely separate lives and she could easily be mistaken as single. These same people admire and respect their spouses, but I’ve never hear them say love. While these are het relationships, I don’t see why same sex couples wouldn’t do the same. Personally I don’t see anything wrong with it. If two consenting adults agree on such terms, then why not? It is Eurocentric to believe that marriage should only be based on love. Marriage, after all, is still practically a contract.

So anyway my point is the characters’ situation is quite believable imho. What I really look forward to is these women’s growing romantic feelings and attraction cos I want some good slow burn..

Book%20and%20cloakhbq1
joined Aug 1, 2011

There's just nothing here to hold on to; it's about a relationship that barely exists and two people who seem to be pretty happy with it that way.

Seems to sum up what this story is all about.

Which I don't think is a bad thing? The main message is that they still care about each other, appreciate each other, think of each other, but they don't always need to be around each other or always talking. I think the relationship humble and wholesome.

I think that's a large part of what these last few chapters have been trying to get across: Their relationship doesn't have a lot of the hallmarks you'd expect from a traditional marriage, because they're not trying to fit into a mold. Karumi's personality type and work don't really fit well into a ... let's call it a Hallmark marriage, since that's what people seem to be expecting. Trying to constrain her to one probably wouldn't end well, regardless of who it's with, but Ruriko doesn't seem to place much value on those things either, so giving them to her wouldn't be a real benefit.

Instead, what we're seeing is them creating a structure that works for who they are, rather than what other people expect. Karumi may be physically absent more often, she also frequently thinks of Ruriko and what she would like. More than that a lot of what we see is her subtly attempting to make their time together more meaningful or to share things that are important to her, even if this behavior isn't explicitly called out and she doesn't consciously realize she's doing it.

Take Ruriko's walk home, this chapter, as an example. It's filled with memories of Karumi excitedly sharing something with her, despite the other girl not being there. You could view those scenes as showing how head-over-heals she is for Karumi, while Karumi is only focused on things she likes, but I don't think that really lines up with thoughts like "Just by walking around, I get little bits and pieces of the world Karumi-san lives in. It's a really lovely feeling."

Karumi engages with the world in a way most people don't and she brings a lot of that back to Ruriko, because she wants to share her experiences with the person she cares about. She tells Ruriko about the book and the movie, not because she enjoyed them, but because she things Ruriko will too and because she wants to have that shared experience with her. She tells Ruriko that she's craving curry not because she wants to eat some — she's more capable of eating out on her own —, but because she want to eat curry with Ruriko.

joined Sep 22, 2015

^ This. Exactly my thoughts!

Tumblr_p5pa4n7ag21tandono1_400
joined Feb 21, 2019

even though we're miles apart the computer screen connects our hearts

joined Jul 26, 2016

even though we're miles apart the computer screen connects our hearts

It's the future, zura!

joined Sep 4, 2016

The credit pages are more interesting than the actual story. If this were IRL, I would label Ruriko as a fairly selfish and narcissistic person. She contributes very little to the relationship. I know that this story wants to somehow convince the reader that being in this type of relationship is okay, but in reality, this would be a very unhealthy one, and almost assuredely one that would not have a happy ending.

D05536d6-01d1-4527-9102-4cc772fad5ed
joined Jul 6, 2020

There's just nothing here to hold on to; it's about a relationship that barely exists and two people who seem to be pretty happy with it that way.

Seems to sum up what this story is all about.

Which I don't think is a bad thing? The main message is that they still care about each other, appreciate each other, think of each other, but they don't always need to be around each other or always talking. I think the relationship humble and wholesome.

I think that's a large part of what these last few chapters have been trying to get across: Their relationship doesn't have a lot of the hallmarks you'd expect from a traditional marriage, because they're not trying to fit into a mold. Karumi's personality type and work don't really fit well into a ... let's call it a Hallmark marriage, since that's what people seem to be expecting. Trying to constrain her to one probably wouldn't end well, regardless of who it's with, but Ruriko doesn't seem to place much value on those things either, so giving them to her wouldn't be a real benefit.

Instead, what we're seeing is them creating a structure that works for who they are, rather than what other people expect. Karumi may be physically absent more often, she also frequently thinks of Ruriko and what she would like. More than that a lot of what we see is her subtly attempting to make their time together more meaningful or to share things that are important to her, even if this behavior isn't explicitly called out and she doesn't consciously realize she's doing it.

Take Ruriko's walk home, this chapter, as an example. It's filled with memories of Karumi excitedly sharing something with her, despite the other girl not being there. You could view those scenes as showing how head-over-heals she is for Karumi, while Karumi is only focused on things she likes, but I don't think that really lines up with thoughts like "Just by walking around, I get little bits and pieces of the world Karumi-san lives in. It's a really lovely feeling."

Karumi engages with the world in a way most people don't and she brings a lot of that back to Ruriko, because she wants to share her experiences with the person she cares about. She tells Ruriko about the book and the movie, not because she enjoyed them, but because she things Ruriko will too and because she wants to have that shared experience with her. She tells Ruriko that she's craving curry not because she wants to eat some — she's more capable of eating out on her own —, but because she want to eat curry with Ruriko.

Yes! This is exactly what the whole story is about.

I’m surprised this story is getting so much hate because this is a website devoted to WLW fiction so getting caught up on heteronormative ideals of what marriage means feels... kinda silly

Integra%2010
joined Dec 4, 2019

Being apart yet together, I love it!

Tumblr_p5pa4n7ag21tandono1_400
joined Feb 21, 2019

There's just nothing here to hold on to; it's about a relationship that barely exists and two people who seem to be pretty happy with it that way.

Seems to sum up what this story is all about.

Which I don't think is a bad thing? The main message is that they still care about each other, appreciate each other, think of each other, but they don't always need to be around each other or always talking. I think the relationship humble and wholesome.

I think that's a large part of what these last few chapters have been trying to get across: Their relationship doesn't have a lot of the hallmarks you'd expect from a traditional marriage, because they're not trying to fit into a mold. Karumi's personality type and work don't really fit well into a ... let's call it a Hallmark marriage, since that's what people seem to be expecting. Trying to constrain her to one probably wouldn't end well, regardless of who it's with, but Ruriko doesn't seem to place much value on those things either, so giving them to her wouldn't be a real benefit.

Instead, what we're seeing is them creating a structure that works for who they are, rather than what other people expect. Karumi may be physically absent more often, she also frequently thinks of Ruriko and what she would like. More than that a lot of what we see is her subtly attempting to make their time together more meaningful or to share things that are important to her, even if this behavior isn't explicitly called out and she doesn't consciously realize she's doing it.

Take Ruriko's walk home, this chapter, as an example. It's filled with memories of Karumi excitedly sharing something with her, despite the other girl not being there. You could view those scenes as showing how head-over-heals she is for Karumi, while Karumi is only focused on things she likes, but I don't think that really lines up with thoughts like "Just by walking around, I get little bits and pieces of the world Karumi-san lives in. It's a really lovely feeling."

Karumi engages with the world in a way most people don't and she brings a lot of that back to Ruriko, because she wants to share her experiences with the person she cares about. She tells Ruriko about the book and the movie, not because she enjoyed them, but because she things Ruriko will too and because she wants to have that shared experience with her. She tells Ruriko that she's craving curry not because she wants to eat some — she's more capable of eating out on her own —, but because she want to eat curry with Ruriko.

Yes! This is exactly what the whole story is about.

I’m surprised this story is getting so much hate because this is a website devoted to WLW fiction so getting caught up on heteronormative ideals of what marriage means feels... kinda silly

queering marriage by just having it be a disinterested friendship

Marion Diabolito
Dynsaty%20scans%20avatar%20from%20twgokhs
joined Jan 5, 2015

It actually reminds me of the non-fictional lesbian marriage manga here. Except they have fewer demands on each other, so they're less likely to separate. The only ones that stuck together, ironically enough, were Husky and Medley. If my memory serves me. If they become lovers, that will test them, for sure.

4
joined Nov 21, 2018

Fun fact: The fruit sandwich on the credits page might look like a sweet cake-ish treat, but they're usually very cheap and rather bland when you get to actually eat one.

Butt
joined Sep 26, 2020

Fun fact: The fruit sandwich on the credits page might look like a sweet cake-ish treat, but they're usually very cheap and rather bland when you get to actually eat one.

I manage to forget this "fun" fact between visits to Japan every time and have to relearn it the hard way, as part of the larger lesson that an awful lot of konbini sweets look a lot better than they taste. Someday I'll learn to stick to pudding. Pudding will never do me wrong.

Untitled
joined Aug 17, 2020

When you're asian, marriage is oddly convinient. My female cousin married her boyfriend after three months of relationship even though she wasnt that in love with him, for the purpose of cutting off taxes and sharing finances. I'm expecting Ruriko to be really in love with her friend though, and for the other party to realize that conviniency shouldn't be the sole purpose of their marriage, pls fall in love you two. Hehe.

C__data_users_defapps_appdata_internetexplorer_temp_saved%20images_lavender_town_screenshot
joined Dec 9, 2014

This kind of marriage you speak of is actually very plausible, especially in a society like Japan, where marriage due to convenience or societal pressure is a definite option. Based on my own circle of married Japanese friends and acquaintances, I cannot tell you how many of them have told me how convenient “marriage” can bring to their social lives. One told me she still has her single life and isn’t bothered by pesky questions of “when will you get married?” anymore. Another told me having a wife means a promotion. I even had a friend who I never knew was married for a long time! They led completely separate lives and she could easily be mistaken as single. These same people admire and respect their spouses, but I’ve never hear them say love. While these are het relationships, I don’t see why same sex couples wouldn’t do the same. Personally I don’t see anything wrong with it. If two consenting adults agree on such terms, then why not? It is Eurocentric to believe that marriage should only be based on love. Marriage, after all, is still practically a contract.

I dont think the concept of marrying because of love is Eurocentric. Maybe marriage for love is talked about more in Western countries, but from the other cultures that I've seen, they also talk about that too (an example could be Bollywood)
Maybe it's more "forced" for a lack of a better word to fall in love before marrying in a western society, but the reality is, this concept of marrying just for the sake of having kids or even people stop bothering you is applied in Europe as well. Especially in Eastern Europe. Russia just banned gay marriage not because they want gay people to stop being gay (like their president said), but to establish their own sovereignty against USA and foreign propaganda.
Also back in monarchy times, people used to marry to unify their families' powers, especially royals.

One of the main reasons gay people were and are still frowned upon is (as believed by many) the loss of power. A gay marriage is not mainly based on procreating (even though this can happen too), at least in a lot of people's minds. Especially in more traditional societies. So it's kinda contradicting for a traditional parent to be satisfied with their kid marrying someone irregardless of their sex.

But of course in a story this can happen because it's fantasy. I remember reading a fan fiction about a female anime character being bugged to get married in 15th century. And she married a woman and everyone was fine. Sometimes it's just suspension of disbelief. I think this story is interesting to read and that's what matters.

Etult87ueaawqbz_%20(2)
joined Oct 15, 2016

I get that this is a story about how married life can work out between people that do care about each other and how sometimes you don't necessarily need to have more than just those feelings for it to work, but to me the story feels a bit like the "They're just a pair of ultra best friends living together" meme that people say when someone online wonders about the sexuality of some characters. Maybe their dynamic would evolve in future chapters and i would look like a dumbass in retrospective for thinking that, but right now i don't feel like we're going to get more than what we have.

The credit pages are more interesting than the actual story. If this were IRL, I would label Ruriko as a fairly selfish and narcissistic person. She contributes very little to the relationship. I know that this story wants to somehow convince the reader that being in this type of relationship is okay, but in reality, this would be a very unhealthy one, and almost assuredely one that would not have a happy ending.

I think you meant to say Kurumi since Ruriko is actually the one who does the most for their relationship.

Khancrop
joined Feb 18, 2013

This is cute. I'm looking forward to how it develops into something deeper and more passionate, but in the mean time I'm content to enjoy it for what it is.

Also, I want to express my appreciation for the cultural note pages at the end. Even I'm learning things from those!

joined Jul 26, 2016

Also back in monarchy times, people used to marry to unify their families' powers, especially royals.

An awful lot of European wars great and small were more (eg. the Wars of Spanish or Austrian Succession) or less (the Hundred Years' War started as one) explicitly succession wars - who the ruling classes married was Serious Business for very good practical reasons as it was directly tied to rights of inheritance. Cue Hell of a lot of dynastic maneuvering and trouble whenever someone died without valid direct heirs and the closest claimant(s) were somewhere inconvenient and politically problematic...
This didn't really stop until the 19th century, by which point the whole concept of statehood and territorial ownership had changed (the French Revolution rather changing the whole playbook wasn't entirely unrelated).

Applied to the lower classes too though, as property rights were hardly less important for the hoi polloi - they just couldn't start wars to dispute mere private inheritance issues. (They could and did take up arms over issues pissing them off on a more collective level ofc, usually against some new law or tax imposed on them they considered going too far; success varied.) Plus there was usually a lot of social prestige attached to such particularly when it came to land ownership; for example in most parts a very real (as in, de facto blocking eligibility to intermarriage) status difference existed between landed and landless peasants, and often that didn't disappear until the early 20th century. (More or less serious domestic trouble from disgruntled landless rurals may or may not have been involved in motivating such land reforms, depending on the case.)

There's also the fact that in days before any meaningful social security people's fundamental safety network was the extended family - and among the labouring classes the only thing really supporting those too old and infirm to work anymore was their own offspring. Hence why getting children grandchildren into the family lineage was Hell of a Big Deal, and still is in such benighted parts of the world as where people cannot rely on the State (if it even exists in any meaningful form and/or isn't actively hostile to their particular reference group) to assist them in times of need.

last edited at Apr 24, 2021 7:08PM

Kuronie
joined Apr 20, 2013

A small but significant change!! It's very cute.

Like how she wanted to start working but first she needed some waifu energy recharge so she started texting.

A castle being restored since 1965?! these people aren't in a hurry, huh?

last edited at Apr 30, 2021 6:59PM

Gay%20panic
joined Sep 11, 2020

slams hands on table and chants ROMANCE! ROMANCE! ROMANCE!

joined Feb 1, 2021

First chapter of this to really click for me - had some mutual warmth to it that had been missing.

A castle being restored since 1965?! these people aren't in a hurry, huh?

I mean, the real things often took quite a long time to build as well.

Pout2
joined Mar 7, 2017

Is that an etruscan ceramic boar?

Book%20and%20cloakhbq1
joined Aug 1, 2011

There's just nothing here to hold on to; it's about a relationship that barely exists and two people who seem to be pretty happy with it that way.

Seems to sum up what this story is all about.

Which I don't think is a bad thing? The main message is that they still care about each other, appreciate each other, think of each other, but they don't always need to be around each other or always talking. I think the relationship humble and wholesome.

I think that's a large part of what these last few chapters have been trying to get across: Their relationship doesn't have a lot of the hallmarks you'd expect from a traditional marriage, because they're not trying to fit into a mold. Karumi's personality type and work don't really fit well into a ... let's call it a Hallmark marriage, since that's what people seem to be expecting. Trying to constrain her to one probably wouldn't end well, regardless of who it's with, but Ruriko doesn't seem to place much value on those things either, so giving them to her wouldn't be a real benefit.

Instead, what we're seeing is them creating a structure that works for who they are, rather than what other people expect. Karumi may be physically absent more often, she also frequently thinks of Ruriko and what she would like. More than that a lot of what we see is her subtly attempting to make their time together more meaningful or to share things that are important to her, even if this behavior isn't explicitly called out and she doesn't consciously realize she's doing it.

Take Ruriko's walk home, this chapter, as an example. It's filled with memories of Karumi excitedly sharing something with her, despite the other girl not being there. You could view those scenes as showing how head-over-heals she is for Karumi, while Karumi is only focused on things she likes, but I don't think that really lines up with thoughts like "Just by walking around, I get little bits and pieces of the world Karumi-san lives in. It's a really lovely feeling."

Karumi engages with the world in a way most people don't and she brings a lot of that back to Ruriko, because she wants to share her experiences with the person she cares about. She tells Ruriko about the book and the movie, not because she enjoyed them, but because she things Ruriko will too and because she wants to have that shared experience with her. She tells Ruriko that she's craving curry not because she wants to eat some — she's more capable of eating out on her own —, but because she want to eat curry with Ruriko.

Yes! This is exactly what the whole story is about.

I’m surprised this story is getting so much hate because this is a website devoted to WLW fiction so getting caught up on heteronormative ideals of what marriage means feels... kinda silly

queering marriage by just having it be a disinterested friendship

But that's the thing: They're explicitly not disinterested in each other. They care about each other a great deal, they just express it slightly differently.

Ke%20(5)
joined Feb 10, 2016

I.. think I just got diabetes.. hnnnnnnn

joined Sep 6, 2018

Well, if this gets licensed, I'll buy a copy.

D05536d6-01d1-4527-9102-4cc772fad5ed
joined Jul 6, 2020

I’m such a sucker for scenes where two characters instantly become surprised and/or embarrassed after they realize something gay like “oh shit i DID miss her.....wait what??”

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