Forum › My Unrequited Love discussion

C__data_users_defapps_appdata_internetexplorer_temp_saved%20images_lavender_town_screenshot
joined Dec 9, 2014

Oh, I wasn't following this conversation right from the beginning regarding Kaoru and Uta's dynamic, so I was replying to that general notion of whether 18 year olds are mature enough or can be as mature as someone in their twenties.

If we talk about these two, I'd say their maturity difference is not unrealistic because they don't have a big age gap. And by maturity I don't just mean the emotional and intellectual only.
When people grow older, it is impossible to remain the same because their life situations force them to change, take responsibilities, not being able to do the things they used to because of their agility deteriorating and having more health problems etc.

Risako is gay, isn't she?

Yes.

last edited at Jul 31, 2020 3:41PM

Img_0215
joined Jul 29, 2017

18-year-olds are not as mature as 22-year-olds--except for the ones who are. 25-year-olds are more mature than 18-year-olds--except for the ones who aren't. (I can name a half-dozen childhood friends who haven't matured past the mental age of 17 in several decades.)

Exceptions don't make the rule, and these exceptions shouldn't be used as examples for taking away the right for the teens to be treated as teens, or for immature adults to be treated as adults.

There are some kids who get a bachelor's at 11, should we bend the rule and expect from every kid the same? If the divergence from the norm is too extreme (like some people remaining exactly the same at 50 as they were at 12) then this is more of an anomaly.

This couldn’t possibly be more non-responsive, since my question was explicitly about this particular series, specifically excluding generalizations as well as rule-making.

EDIT: And rainbow8 ^ was exactly on topic--as an ethical matter (as opposed to a logistical/culture problem) a hypothetical Uta-Kaoru relationship is conspicuously missing the major age-gap red flags.

last edited at Jul 31, 2020 4:57PM

10807fb9dea2e14573bdced1ea4c45e9
joined Aug 19, 2019

Kaoru needs to take her ass to therapy ASAP

Correction *Everyone in this manga needs to take their ass to therapy, after rereading the series, everyone seems to be going through some sort of shit.

*Reiichi: Doesn't love his wife, still in love with his ex, chained up to a fake marriage born out of pure guilt, has been carrying the weight of a promise for years and can't let go.

*Risako: Cannot accept or understand her own feelings and ends up destroying them, even went as far as to get between a marriage, lack of empathy.

*Kaoru: Has been showing signs of depression for a while now, is in a fake and toxic marriage.

*Uta: Doesn't really have "issues" infact she's actually distancing herself and recovering from the hurt of unrequited love, which is a good thing, but she's sure as hell gonna catch some if she doesn't stay away from Kaoru, but what are the chances that'll actually happen?

Img_0215
joined Jul 29, 2017

It would be a clusterfuck, which, I mean, if you want drama, then yeah, it'll definitely get that, but I have the suspicion that the person saying they don't want a time skip just wants a happy ending, and that is -not- a happy ending.

You think this author doesn't have the ability to handwave problems away or to ass-pull a happy ending? I don't believe you've been paying attention in class . . .

But you're right that a time-skip would be the most rational way to get to a Uta-Kaoru romantic ending (which I am opposed to on humanitarian grounds--plucky Uta deserves far better than Depresso-Denial-san--but which I favor on the grounds that trainwrecks are spectacular events when they happen).

Tron-legacy
joined Dec 11, 2017

It would be a clusterfuck, which, I mean, if you want drama, then yeah, it'll definitely get that, but I have the suspicion that the person saying they don't want a time skip just wants a happy ending, and that is -not- a happy ending.

You think this author doesn't have the ability to handwave problems away or to ass-pull a happy ending? I don't believe you've been paying attention in class . . .

I mean I'm not saying they -won't- do that, I'm just making an argument that they shouldn't. ;p I mean, for all we know, there is no time skip, but the protagonists will just run blindly into all of the hurdles I mentioned and this will be a thirty-volume long shipwreck soap opera of epic proportions. ;p

But you're right that a time-skip would be the most rational way to get to a Uta-Kaoru romantic ending (which I am opposed to on humanitarian grounds--plucky Uta deserves far better than Depresso-Denial-san--but which I favor on the grounds that trainwrecks are spectacular events when they happen).

Honestly I feel like Kaoru deserves better than to settle for somebody just because they like her, too.

Sick people deserve treatment, not palliatives. I mean, it's not like I think Uta is incapable of helping her, or that it couldn't work out, but it's not an ideal starting place for a relationship.

Tron-legacy
joined Dec 11, 2017

Kaoru needs to take her ass to therapy ASAP

Correction *Everyone in this manga needs to take their ass to therapy, after rereading the series, everyone seems to be going through some sort of shit.

*Reiichi: Doesn't love his wife, still in love with his ex, chained up to a fake marriage born out of pure guilt, has been carrying the weight of a promise for years and can't let go.

*Risako: Cannot accept or understand her own feelings and ends up destroying them, even went as far as to get between a marriage, lack of empathy.

*Kaoru: Has been showing signs of depression for a while now, is in a fake and toxic marriage.

*Uta: Doesn't really have "issues" infact she's actually distancing herself and recovering from the hurt of unrequited love, which is a good thing, but she's sure as hell gonna catch some if she doesn't stay away from Kaoru, but what are the chances that'll actually happen?

Uta is actually shockingly well adjusted, all things considered. I mean holy shit just look at her parents.

Tumblr_inline_nmpg2zqwcs1s53ljo_100
joined Apr 4, 2014

Damn Reiichi...no wonder his back is drawn so big it's coz of the weight of guilt he has to carry. There's a lesson to be learned and its be true to oneself and be with who they actually love or the person they're with will get hurt.

joined Jan 14, 2020

Honestly I feel like Kaoru deserves better than to settle for somebody just because they like her, too.

Emotionally Uta is about as important to Kaoru as Reiichi is, that part wouldn't be settling. Sexually, who knows.

joined Feb 14, 2019

Honestly I feel like Kaoru deserves better than to settle for somebody just because they like her, too.

Sick people deserve treatment, not palliatives. I mean, it's not like I think Uta is incapable of helping her, or that it couldn't work out, but it's not an ideal starting place for a relationship.

Reiichi was the palliative, Uta has been helping her grow and confront her issues, it is literally right there in these last few chapters.

Even though Uta left before she woke up and she hasn't seen her since, plus the last few chapters seeing her worst fears essentially confirmed Kaoru hasn't completely broken down the way she did when she was "lost".

I'd be more worried about a relationship where the partners don't help each other than one where they do. Just so long as you are mindful of their needs too, recognizing someone who can meet your emotional needs can be a sign of healthy self-awareness.

There is nothing particularly magic about therapy, people should reach out for help however works for them. Kaoru's problems aren't unusual or complex - she needed to confront her fears (and her hopes) - and now she is doing that. No magic words are going to "fix" the fact that she doesn't like being alone, and wants to be loved; nor should they: most people "need" close friends/family to some extent. It is even perfectly human for her to fear being alone, just so long as she doesn't let fear stop her living her life.

The classic trope of chronic "confessionals"/life-coaching with a therapist (American TV style) is just a symptom of having no one in their life they trust enough to confide in (also handy for writers to drop emotional exposition, lol).

last edited at Jul 31, 2020 9:35PM

Unknown%20(1)
joined Jan 30, 2019

we been knew risako was a fat raging lesbian

i feel bad for literally everyone in this manga. they all need therapy and a hug fr.

joined Jan 14, 2020

My impression is mental therapy is a lot rarer in Japan compared to the US middle class.

joined Feb 14, 2019

Uta is a minor, with no means of independent support, currently depending on abusively neglectful parents. If she gets together with Kaoru here and now, not only would that be an actual crime, but she wouldn't have any means by which to support or care for her. They'd have no support structure outside of maybe Kuro and maybe Reiichi? Society at large would just absolutely tear them to shreds over that relationship, not just because homosexuality still isn't that well-accepted in Japan, but because you have an adult woman who will be perceived to have "seduced" a minor within her own family.

It would be a clusterfuck, which, I mean, if you want drama, then yeah, it'll definitely get that, but I have the suspicion that the person saying they don't want a time skip just wants a happy ending, and that is -not- a happy ending.

If Uta gets together with Kaoru now, either Uta has to work part time or full time and has to drop out of school, or Kaoru has to support and provide for her. We already know Uta isn't satisfied depending on Kaoru and Reiichi, plus all of those create pretty messy power dynamics for the relationship.

The best thing for them, to have a stable, balanced relationship, is for Kaoru to get therapy (Probably unlikely) and a job, and for Uta to graduate and get an independent living situation so that they can FINALLY interact as peers and equals.

You are worst-casing this scenario. "Society" is just made up of people. Uta and Kaoru in a relationship would have little noticeable difference in public (PDA isn't much of a thing in Japan), only those close to them would know the difference (even if they notice, people who don't know them don't know the "famiily" connection anyway, so no worse than any other yuri). Reiichi is easygoing to a fault, and his only consistent motivation has been their wellbeing, it is extremely unlikely he would disown either of them for being together (it would also be nice growth for Reiichi to realize he can support Kaoru in ways other than just marrying her; the implication is he was more comfortable as her onii-san anyway).

It isn't a whole lot different than the stay-apart for a time-skip option - they would still have to "make their way", just a question of doing that separately or together. There is a good chance Uta is aiming for a scholarship, since there is no way she wants her mother calling the shots until she graduates. Uta's mother could try to make trouble, but the clear implication is that anyone who knows her doesn't like her, so her disapproval may have limited impact. Kaoru still has to figure out how to support herself, the only difference would be whether she has a supportive relationship while she does that.

I previously mentioned the possibility of the pov/emotional framing in early chapters as a misdirect, and it may apply here.

When Uta discovered Kaoru had handmade the necklace, the text was twisting the knife on Uta's emotional pain, but in the background was the implication that Uta thought the necklace looked professionally made.

Kaoru quitting her job to have more time to work on jewelry to sell was overshadowed by leading to a job for Uta. But in the background we had Kaoru working long days engrossed by it (not to mention Uta being impressed by her competence), and lots of sales being made.

We weren't given any info on the financials and we have been preconditioned to think of handmade jewelry as something middle class housewives do as an indulgent hobby, but there are people who make a living off it too.
There is the possibility that what seemed like a background detail was setting the scene for Kaoru's financial independence (mostly just that it doesn't have to be literally getting a job; but we also know she has managed to hold down a job in the past).

Finally those are all practical difficulties. Unrequited or not, this is a romance story, traditionally they tend more to overcoming practical difficulties than surrendering to them.

I'm not saying they would have to leap into bed together, but I think they would have to at least address the relationship possibility before any major time skip. Without setting the scene and putting characters on a justified trajectory a time skip coming back with everything "fixed" is just deus ex machina.

There is scope for time skips, but not as a fixit. They have a lot of things to work though, so time intervals where they are dating (or even pre-dating, in each others lives, working out their feelings without labels) would be quite reasonable before it came to sex or moving in together.

tldr: shutting off all contact and trying desperately to quit each other for four years, then doing a complete about-face because of some arbitrary social milestone doesn't feel like it makes a whole lot of sense.

joined Jan 14, 2020

tldr: shutting off all contact and trying desperately to quit each other for four years, then doing a complete about-face because of some arbitrary social milestone doesn't feel like it makes a whole lot of sense.

Exactly!

Mudou%20ayana
joined Oct 29, 2013

I don't like the characters at all, specially Kaoru, but the plot is interesting and I'd like to see Uta moving abroad and forgetting everyone before Kaoru ever thinks about her otherwise.

thechampionmike95
Latest-1-1
joined Aug 6, 2015

Everyone keeps talking about how Uta has been there for Kaoru but no one is mentioning how Kaoru hasn't shown any romantic signs of liking Uta back. Them getting together would be too sudden right now. From Kaoru's perspective it looks like she's only getting with Uta because she was the only person that truly loved her. That's not really fair to Uta to be accepted just because no one else was there for Kaoru like she was.

thechampionmike95
Latest-1-1
joined Aug 6, 2015

Risako seems so malicious with the whole deal, if she truly liked/loved Kaoru she would have told her from the very beginning about Reiichi not truly loving her and only looking after her because of his own guilt. Her waiting for the perfect opportunity for Kaoru to find out about it on her own and be vulnerable doesn't sit well with me at all.

me too. I still have suspicions on if she actually likes Kaoru. She never said she loves her but rather that she's interested in her. We do not know what she fully means by that. She could mean love or that she sees her has someone interesting to study to an emotionless person like herself.

Dark_Tzitzimine
67763073_p3
joined Dec 18, 2013

I feel that Risako is a self-hating lesbian that was intentionally being a bitch about the whole thing hoping this would get Kaoru to hate her and thus, force herself to drop any aspirations of having a relationship with another woman. But now that plan failed she couldn't think of anything else but to come clean with Kaoru.

thechampionmike95
Latest-1-1
joined Aug 6, 2015

but like that other person said what would that accomplish other than lengthy the story? Shes not gonna end up with Kaoru and she definitely won't learn anything from Kaoru or Uta about accepting herself. Her being a lesbian doesn't sound that interesting imo

joined Feb 14, 2019

Everyone keeps talking about how Uta has been there for Kaoru but no one is mentioning how Kaoru hasn't shown any romantic signs of liking Uta back. Them getting together would be too sudden right now. From Kaoru's perspective it looks like she's only getting with Uta because she was the only person that truly loved her. That's not really fair to Uta to be accepted just because no one else was there for Kaoru like she was.

People have been discussing the "consolation prize" problem on and off for a while, since it has been implicit as a possibility in the story from a fair way back, all that happened here is that Kaoru finally noticed something readers have known for a while.

Kaoru's feelings have come up a lot too, eg recently that in a way she has shown some sort of interest: https://dynasty-scans.com/forum/posts/603188
Post from me explaining how she has been pursuing an ersatz relationship with Uta, fawning over her at every opportunity (and in the same discussion Blastaar talked about her "aggressive skinship").

She tried to drag Uta along on a date with Reiichi, and even concocted a scheme to trick Uta in to accepting goodbye hugs in the morning. She chose to sleep beside Uta, taking pleasure/comfort in it, even knowing she had sexual feelings. If a guy was making a fuss over a girl like that, we would have no doubt what was going on.

I'm probably reading too much into this, but I'd also note that the idea she was hurting/exploiting Reiichi because his guilt is keeping him in the relationship was presented as a death blow for Kaoru wanting to "try again". It horrified her. This could also be seen as an advance declaration that she wouldn't be comfortable using Uta in a similar way. Maybe the author is clearing the air for a possible Kaoru/Uta development.

joined Feb 14, 2019

but like that other person said what would that accomplish other than lengthy the story? Shes not gonna end up with Kaoru and she definitely won't learn anything from Kaoru or Uta about accepting herself. Her being a lesbian doesn't sound that interesting imo

After my post on that subject a few days ago (but given how busy this thread has been many pages back).
https://dynasty-scans.com/forum/posts/603184
Summary: Risako confessing to Kaoru wouldn't be accepted, and wouldn't advance Uta's story.

But thinking about it, there is at least one one story telling purpose Risako pining over Kaoru could serve. Kaoru has never directly addressed Uta's feelings, she has just said that it wasn't possible for her to respond to them (because of her marriage). Risako's story could be a warning/motivation for Kaoru. If Risako confessed, Kaoru wouldn't be interested, but she might also be saddened at all the angst the secret feelings caused down the years, and motivated to do some self-examination and clear the air with Uta instead of avoiding the topic because it is socially unacceptable.

Images%20(18)
joined Oct 18, 2017

Love this chap35! :) Right from the start, I don't like Reiichi for Kaoru. The way he was presented on the early take on was a boring passive narcissist. Nothing seems right in the relationship except that he goes home, eat, sleep and provides financially. For me, he decided to marry Kaoru not because he felt the pity only but there is an angle that Kaoru looks like Risako. The anniversary kissing and hotel suggestion said it when Kaoru dressed up smart just like Risako. Reiichi preference is on sophisticated and smart looking women. That is why there was a chapter, he combed his hair neatly('the trying to impress' look)which for me was to Risako's style and I dont believe on the cheating because Risako was presented to be an intellectual who normally is a strong independent woman. It is so hard to find men who can interest them.

On the other note, I would like to believe that the hand that Kaoru remembered patting her head was Uta's. I think this frame came up from Kaoru's narrative of the past.

Now, it was also presented that Reiichi is also observant. I believed it is possible that he knows that Kaoru is happy with Uta around and vice-versa. Just my take, that is.

Senjougahara_sama
Rowow
joined Jun 12, 2017

Being Karou is sad times.

Tron-legacy
joined Dec 11, 2017

Honestly I feel like Kaoru deserves better than to settle for somebody just because they like her, too.

Emotionally Uta is about as important to Kaoru as Reiichi is, that part wouldn't be settling. Sexually, who knows.

Yeah, but Uta likes Kaoru romantically, and Kaoru hasn't expressed that kind of feeling for her before. She's had some quasi-romantic substitute-for-my-husband behaviors, but that's not much of a foundation. Right now Kaoru's in rebound territory, and that's a problem to any relationship she might start to pursue with -anybody- right now. Is she actually into Uta, or is she just trying to salve the injury of realizing that Reiichi isn't going to love her back the way she wants? This is another part of why them getting together right away is a bad idea. It's not like rebound relationships never work, but there are a lot of factors in Kaoru's situation that could leave her predisposed to grab the first thing available to her, and that can mean diving into a relationship she isn't -actually- interested in. Going out with someone because they're the only person that's ever really shown interest is the literal definition of settling.

Tron-legacy
joined Dec 11, 2017

So there's a lot here, and I might not get every single point, but I'll try to apply the broad strokes.

You are worst-casing this scenario. "Society" is just made up of people. Uta and Kaoru in a relationship would have little noticeable difference in public (PDA isn't much of a thing in Japan), only those close to them would know the difference (even if they notice, people who don't know them don't know the "famiily" connection anyway, so no worse than any other yuri). Reiichi is easygoing to a fault, and his only consistent motivation has been their wellbeing, it is extremely unlikely he would disown either of them for being together (it would also be nice growth for Reiichi to realize he can support Kaoru in ways other than just marrying her; the implication is he was more comfortable as her onii-san anyway).

First of all, you have to consider the worst case and how likely it might be when considering your future. Dismissing something entirely because it is the worst case scenario is incredibly naive. Worst case scenarios often happen, and sometimes they're actually pretty likely. Secondly, We're not just talking about the family connection, we're talking about the family connection, the age gap, the fact that Uta's underage and can't take care of herself, as well as the fact that nobody there has a really robust friend group, so if it turns out that Kaoru got a bad die roll on her "are my friends bigots" check, she could find herself more isolated than ever in very short order. Sure, they seem chill, but you never know. We know Uta's friends aren't judgemental, but they are also underage and not financially independent.

And it's a small world. Your boss's neice turns out to be your neighbor. The lady that works at the cafe you applied to turns out to know your best friend. The bitchy coworker in HR turns out to be from your high school, and your circles of friends overlap. If your living situation is perfectly accepted by society, then that's harmless enough, but if you're gay and closeted, it's something you have to worry about. If you're also dating somebody many years younger, and you have a family connection that is unusual, that's a greater worry. If it's actually illegal because they're underage, that's straight up dangerous.

I suspect you've never had a friend who faced death threats because somebody lied about their lifestyle. I have. And they didn't even -do- the thing they were accused of. Rumors can ruin lives.

Now if you have two adults in independent living situations who are spending time together, it's pretty easy to dismiss that as not-your-fucking-business buddy, BUT when one of them is a minor? And the sister of the ex husband? And they've been close since Uta was really small? Like REALLY small?

WE know there's nothing predatory going on, but from the outside in that looks cringe as fuck, and a lot of people would look at that situation and leap straight to the conclusion that Kaoru is a straight up predator. There are REASONS adults aren't supposed to date high school students. It isn't just some arbitrary thing.

And it doesn't take much to kick that off. Even if they have the wherewithal to try and hide it, maybe a neighbor sees them kiss, or even just hug, and hears from another neighbor that Uta called Kaoru's ex "Onii-chan" and now they're on somebody's radar. Gossip starts. Maybe Kaoru's boss hears about it and is worried about how it could reflect on the company. Maybe Uta's classmates get word of it and start spreading rumors, and now her daily life is full of bullying and social ostracization.

It isn't a whole lot different than the stay-apart for a time-skip option - they would still have to "make their way", just a question of doing that separately or together. There is a good chance Uta is aiming for a scholarship, since there is no way she wants her mother calling the shots until she graduates. Uta's mother could try to make trouble, but the clear implication is that anyone who knows her doesn't like her, so her disapproval may have limited impact. Kaoru still has to figure out how to support herself, the only difference would be whether she has a supportive relationship while she does that.

Yeah, it doesn't matter if nobody likes Uta's mom, she's her MOTHER, and she has legal guardianship of Uta, because Uta is a minor. Popularity does not matter in criminal or civil court. But we don't actually know anything about how much influence she has in general. She could be besties with the prime minister for all we know. literally all we know is her home life.

We weren't given any info on the financials and we have been preconditioned to think of handmade jewelry as something middle class housewives do as an indulgent hobby, but there are people who make a living off it too.
There is the possibility that what seemed like a background detail was setting the scene for Kaoru's financial independence (mostly just that it doesn't have to be literally getting a job; but we also know she has managed to hold down a job in the past).

I'm well aware that Kaoru is almost certainly capable of self-support and may in fact be helping support her household as it is. I've made that argument myself on these pages. But supporting yourself and supporting yourself and a high school girl (especially if she intends to go to college) are two very different things. And if Kaoru is supporting Uta financially, that puts a troublesome power balance in the relationship that is problematic in it's own right, to say nothing of how it looks to others.

Finally those are all practical difficulties. Unrequited or not, this is a romance story, traditionally they tend more to overcoming practical difficulties than surrendering to them.

And as I said, if you want drama to put the characters through the wringer, than by all means have them get together right away, but if you want a happily ever after in short order, that's going to be more credible if they focus on improving their respective situations first, and the passage of time is the only remedy for some of their specific challenges.

I'm not saying they would have to leap into bed together, but I think they would have to at least address the relationship possibility before any major time skip. Without setting the scene and putting characters on a justified trajectory a time skip coming back with everything "fixed" is just deus ex machina.

That is not what deus ex machina means. A time skip in which the characters have continued to live their lives normally and have attained better self-sufficiency is not a deus ex machina, it's arguable whether you would even call it a contrivance, because you don't have to contrive the passsage of time.

There is scope for time skips, but not as a fixit. They have a lot of things to work though, so time intervals where they are dating (or even pre-dating, in each others lives, working out their feelings without labels) would be quite reasonable before it came to sex or moving in together.

Yes, but one of the problems is explicitly that Uta is a high school student, and you cannot fix that problem with anything besides graduation and employment.

I mean, the BEST case scenario, in all of this, is that Reiichi and Uta's parens and Kaoru's friends are all chill and understanding of Kaoru saying "Hey, I'm divorcing my husband because he doesn't love me but I'm gonna go out with his sister because she does." Then she could have some innocent, non-sexy-times dates with Uta while she's still a minor, Uta wouldn't have to worry about being disowned and homeless because her mom is cool with it, and nobody's judging them. They'd have a supportive friend group to help them deal with any external threats. And most people would read that and go "PFFFFFFFT YEAH SURE WHATEVER" but yeah, it isn't impossible. It'd definitely be a jarring swerve from the tone of the rest of the series.

tldr: shutting off all contact and trying desperately to quit each other for four years, then doing a complete about-face because of some arbitrary social milestone doesn't feel like it makes a whole lot of sense.

I didn't say a single word about shutting off all contact or trying to quit each other for four years. I said they shouldn't rush into a romantic relationship while Uta is still a high school student who is dependent on her parents.

Tron-legacy
joined Dec 11, 2017

So for this part, I'm gonna do my best to stay calm, but there's a lot here that actively made me angry, so forgive me if that bleeds through, and if I'm misunderstanding your point, feel free to correct me.

Honestly I feel like Kaoru deserves better than to settle for somebody just because they like her, too.

Sick people deserve treatment, not palliatives. I mean, it's not like I think Uta is incapable of helping her, or that it couldn't work out, but it's not an ideal starting place for a relationship.

Reiichi was the palliative, Uta has been helping her grow and confront her issues, it is literally right there in these last few chapters.

Uta is definitely good for Kaoru right now, which is why I said Uta isn't incapable of helpling her, but depression is an illness and emotional trauma is an injury, and Uta is not a doctor.

A friend can nurse you through a cold, but you should go to a doctor for a broken leg, a heart attack should be treated at the hospital, and crippling mental health issues deserve a trained therapist.

Even though Uta left before she woke up and she hasn't seen her since, plus the last few chapters seeing her worst fears essentially confirmed Kaoru hasn't completely broken down the way she did when she was "lost".

I'd be more worried about a relationship where the partners don't help each other than one where they do. Just so long as you are mindful of their needs too, recognizing someone who can meet your emotional needs can be a sign of healthy self-awareness.

There is nothing particularly magic about therapy, people should reach out for help however works for them. Kaoru's problems aren't unusual or complex - she needed to confront her fears (and her hopes) - and now she is doing that. No magic words are going to "fix" the fact that she doesn't like being alone, and wants to be loved; nor should they: most people "need" close friends/family to some extent. It is even perfectly human for her to fear being alone, just so long as she doesn't let fear stop her living her life.

Yeah, but also Kaoru has episodes of acute depression that are literally paralyzing, her trauma and loneliness resulted in her entering and staying in a loveless marriage, and when she was living on her own, she was explicitly shown to have difficulty taking care of herself. This is the kind of thing that a therapist is specifically trained to help a person deal with.

I don't expect her to end up in therapy, because way too many japanese people think like you apparently do and think therapy is unnessecary. And that's WRONG AND BAD, because it undercuts the many reasons why people might need an actual medical professional because friends and loved ones can't always give the kind of support they need.

The classic trope of chronic "confessionals"/life-coaching with a therapist (American TV style) is just a symptom of having no one in their life they trust enough to confide in (also handy for writers to drop emotional exposition, lol).

(deep breath) (exhale slowly) I love my family and friends dearly and I trust them with my life. But they are not doctors. Therapy is NOT a symptom of not having anyone to confide in. It's medical treatment. And the way you seem to dismiss it is actively harmful bullshit.

Even if you trust and want to confide in your friends, family, or lover(s), that does not mean that you always -can-. There are things you might not necessarily want to voice to just anyone, or insights that specifically come from someone being a trained health professional. Therapists do more than just listen to you talk, there are a variety of different kinds of therapies for different sorts of mental health problelms. But more importantly, they can help to identify underlying problems and disorders that hinder your ability to help yourself.

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