idk i kinda see the first one as...more like, her body wanted it and liked the dom play, but her mind wasn't ready to accept it thus her SAYING it's the worst and she hates her, when really she doesn't. like maybe more a tone of: "she's the WORST, she knows how to play me like a fiddle, she figured out how i like it. she's the worst cause she found out my secret." those kinds of feelings. it just doesn't mean she doesn't like it.