Purple Library Guy posted:
Once maybe he was a man who loved a woman, once maybe he cherished her and wanted to know more about her, once maybe he wanted to drive her wild sexually, but now it seems like all that kind of thing is just . . . not relevant, not a role related to him. Now I know this seems to be a quite traditional approach to marriage, not just in Japan but practically everywhere, but that seems to be frankly because sexism is a traditional approach practically everywhere. It still sucks.
And so frankly, if he were just not very good at being her lover, if he wasn't putting in as much effort as he used to, taking her a little for granted, then they could work on that. But if he's vacated the position he shouldn't be too surprised if someone else fills it. He may vaguely assume that the roles he assigns to her--housekeeper and mother--are therefore all there is to her, but that does not make it so.
In short: IMO, being a husband includes being your wife's lover, and I don't just mean using her for sex now and then. One of the responsibilities of the position, and a delicious one. If you fail to meet that responsibility, you have a whole lot less to complain about if someone else does.
No, if you are going with husband is never home because of work angle then you are missing important part. In japan it is never you go for a girl then your work starts to take longer and you working too long so either don't have time for her or your initial interest disappears. In japan you work your entire life. You are expect to spend your entire life in work so society can work. So it goes like that, you finish high school/college, go to work, work all the time (japanese can often work 80 hours a week, doing overhours is not a option, it is expected and everything for shitty pay) and then are still expected to go on drinking party with their co-workers/bosses and then after getting home around 1-2 am, go to work on 8 am and the cycle repeat. They have no time for themselves, they have no lifes. That is why going on arranged dates and finding a woman to marry like that is so common. They have no time to date. Then why they do it? Because society expects them to. If you are over 30 and still not married there is something wrong with you. You don't marry for love, you marry for stability, so you have a wife who will take care of home, take care of future children while you work and you can prolong your family. Sure, some women works, but most of the time, husband is working to support entire family. So it isn't about him just stopping caring about her. It is usually about him not really caring about her in the first. Sure they might had some chemistry at first, but when husband is never home and wife just needs to find a way to spend her free time, there is no real way for anything to progress. It's not about neglect, but about doing your part/role, so society can work, so both sides just accepts it as reality. And those kind of loveless marriages are common thing in japan. The most sad thing actually is that often when husband finally is old enough to retire and can finally stay home, wife is actually annoyed, because suddenly there is a stranger in her house. So I can understand attempt at justifying cheating when marriage has some kind of huge problems, like being abusive, but your example just doesn't work.
EDIT/ Forgot to mention. That is exactly why there is so many romance manga/anime, because they don't have time to experience it themselves so they want to read a heart-throbbing stories instead. Also that is the reason why there is so little adult life anime/manga, because that is their entire life so they want to escape it and go back to only time they had true freedom and no responsibility. And that is of course the reason so many high school stories exist. Also of course dating sims and marring 2d characters.
last edited at Jun 11, 2017 6:02PM