I'm adding Tamamusi to my favourites list after this. I've been putting it off long enough. She dances between earthy and cute without missing a beat.

Please get an actual muzzle!
Please get an actual muzzle!
Please get an actual muzzle!
Please get an actual muzzle!
Please get an actual muzzle!
Please get an actual muzzle!

I've had my eye on Starlight Vega for a while. Can't wait for it.

Finished it. This is tremendous. I love it when romance takes place amongst the stars, or in dreamworlds, outside of normal perception. There's a gorgeous loneliness to that kind of setting.

The game combines a lot of clever game engine tricks, and metaphysical turns, with a lot of heart. In some ways, it's a far sweeter, smaller cousin to Qualia The Purple and Serial Experiments Lain.

The music is lovely as well. I adore naive synthesizers that don't fall into the familiar patterns of chiptune's insular fetishism. The music feels more 'Soundblaster' than 'Game Boy', which I appreciate.

I hope a few other people have a look at this.

Yay, it's back!

I love how Ayano and Miyoshi's dynamic is so flirtatious and playful, yet you get these little glimpses that there's something a little deeper going on. If there is, I suspect it will be a very long time until something develops, as their normal behaviour could be used as both a release valve and a smokescreen.

Downloaded it. I may not be able to play through until the weekend's over. Romance Detective, by the same developer, is also on my list.

I'll be honest, I'm not all that comfortable with semi-colons, so not using them is mainly a weakness of mine.

I'd think of it as a trait, not a weakness. If something feels uncomfortable when used in your writing, it doesn't mean all fault lies with you. Language is an imperfect beast. Sometimes its conventional forms are superfluous or inadequate for somebody's work.

Entirely possible. I probably need work on some of the more formal aspects of English grammar.

The subjunctive isn't worth losing sleep over. 'Tis borderline obsolete. I only brought it up in case you had a fresh angle on it, as I'm a bit hazy. Otherwise, you may be happier carrying on like it doesn't exist.

Of course, don't let me dissuade you from hitting the books if you feel the need.

Aah, chapter 15, and it's a good one! Gayoon's emotional defence and Soo's acceptance were sugar sweet. I swear Gayoon's expressions are growing prettier. She looks oddly mature when she's fired up.

If Gayoon has been biting, that's like, really kinky, but I've got a feeling something else may be around the corner. Soha's relationship with her brother seems potentially combative, and Horang's starting to look dangerous. I'm all set for a bit of drama, now.

Okie-dokie, I've got home and followed the link.

Well played, Nezchan. I guess you've been doing this writing lark a while. You have the clarity and concision of an old hand. You appear to share my practice of not using colons and semi-colons, unless that's a quirk of this particular story.

I never realised 'alternate' was a valid synonym for 'alternative' in North American usage (I'm from the United Kingdom). You learn something new everyday.

The second section was where it really picked up steam for me. I respect the choice of beginning in media res, but I like my powerplay to have context and anticipation, a slippery slope into depravity. Also, that second passage had all that delicious focus on willing exhibitionism, which I totally dig. I love the confidence and naughtiness of it! I don't know what I prefer, when it's done out of pure selfish pleasure, or when it's done to provoke someone into overstepping their bounds.

I was totally down with the use of a network cable as a rope. Bondage with cyberpunk trappings? God, yes.

I couldn't help but compare the realisation, without external evidence, of being spied upon by a known enitity, with religious epiphany. I've occasionally wondered if some people, who feel the divine, experience direct arousal from the gaze of their god, or goddess, a person who knows and understands every sensation and desire. I'd once read an article about sexual sublimation in mediaeval Christianity, how chastity wasn't used to strangle hated arousal, but used to channel and intensfiy that energy to feel God in very... graphic ways.

I may have to go hunting to prove to myself that I didn't dream all that. Apparently, there was a school of poetry and illustration and everything... but I'm getting a bit sidetracked.

I think you've used 'tasted' instead of 'tastes' four paragraphs from the end. A slip of the finger from 's' to 'd', easily done. There are a few stray words that I'd drop, adverbs mainly, but no changes that I wouldn't ascribe to personal taste or mindless tinkering. I do too much of the latter.

Also, eight paragraphs into the second section, I'm not 100% sure if the subjunctive applies.

Every activity was done as if I were on display, a surprisingly natural act.

You may be able to put me right on this one, as I'm not an expert on the subjunctive and how it varies between Englishes, but... if you'll indulge my thought process... 'if' in this sentence is a synonym for 'though', which means there's no conditional clause, so I've got a feeling 'if I was' may be the correct usage, strictly speaking.

Having said that, if it were me writing, I'd just shrug and use whichever sounded better. Prefering 'were' for its flow rather than following archaic, obscure 'rules' is totally cool with me. This is just me getting my language geek on. Like, I've bent the subjunctive into all kinds of shapes, either knowingly or accidentally, so I'm always curious to know someone else's take, and whether they understand something I don't.

Anyhoo, that's enough musing. I'm sure you've got a big enough circle of fellow writers with plenty more insight than I have, so I'm kind of prattling here to entertain myself. Good luck with April. I hope it's productive.

last edited at Mar 28, 2016 4:26PM

But I don't know if I have the courage to ask someone to read it.

Writing well is hard. Anyone who's had a crack at doing it seriously won't think any less of a novice taking a first step. Also, I know plenty of people who write English as a second language better than I do as a native.

@Nezchan. I don't mean to ignore your OP and waffle on but I'm in a place where the most I can do is skim threads and tap out simple replies. I'd rather wait until I can fully concentrate before I read and comment on someone's fiction.

Argilla x Jinana

How did I forget this one? Totally approve, and there's a chance of it going canon? Seems like I have two birthdays this year. Tangent: SMTIII is possibly my favourite JRPG of all time. I love Atlus.

Re: BlazBlue. I'm behind the curve there as well. I'm not much of a console gamer and BlazBlue requires a lot of mechanical and personal investment, for which I don't have the time, ah well.

On the subject of fighting games, I've also got a dirty weakness for Ayane x Kasumi from that fanservice classic, Dead or Alive.

Come to think of it, I've got far too many incestuous ships in my head. Lightning x Serah from FFXIII's another one. (Runs away from all the Flight shippers).

Camp NaNoWriMo

How do such things work? Do they actually last for a month? Many of these writing events are a bit of a foreign country to me as I work silly hours - though maybe that's an excuse - so I'm always curious as to how they function and fit into people's lives.

I rarely finish anything I start.

Might I recommend the good ol' set small targets approach if you haven't tried it? I managed to finish my first long form piece by writing 60 chunks of 1,500 words. It feels far less daunting than writing, say, 75,000.

This is like a more hopeful version of Serial Experiments Lain, which is one of my favourite things ever. There's even a character called Alice.

I like to think that ending, where Yukari repeats her gesture with the robot from Chapter 17, implies that all they've shared, and Gaku's infinity-spanning heroics, remain in some way, and Yukari stays because a woman who'd go to such lengths is worth so much more than personal advancement.

I was pretty down with the infinite universes thing. It was a fun, sometimes touching, riff on the postmodern fragmentation of self, even if Yukari denounces it at the end. I guess if you truly care for someone though, it's heartbreaking to see them as anything other than a continuous line. To think the person you love could be just one fragment, ready to be scattered and replaced forever, is kinda heartbreaking.

I kinda like that it's aged. I get a real kick out of re-watching that breed of 90s/early 00s dorky sci-fi / fantasy / thriller nonsense. Xena, Lexx, La Femme Nikita, Jack of All Trades etc.

Cementing Xena x Gabrielle as canon is a lovely thing to do, though I'm unsure if I can go back to that well after so many years. Xena's place in my heart revolves around web 1.0 sites full of fanfiction and subtext analysis, and sailing the ship almost feels like erasing that little footnote of history.

Still, that's like being nostalgic for the war after victory. I hope this new Xena makes a few old dreams come true.

Lord, I was the same. I was gunning for both of the spares, backing Yaya for Hikari, and Tamao for Nagisa. The ending of Strawberry Panic left me kind of shattered!

Wow, never considered this one at all. It's a nice picture though. The expressions are lovely.

Commander Shepard x Tali'Zorah Vas Normandy (Mass Effect)

Urk. This ship wore a hole in my heart. I was gunning so hard for Femshep x Tali in Mass Effect 2. Ended up modding the game and almost writing fanfiction for it. I always felt Liara was too emotionally distant. It was my favourite part of her character but she'd be very frustrating relationship material.

If we're riding the Bioware train...

I'm one of those terrible deviants who ships the main character and Imoen from Baldur's Gate.
For Jade Empire, I always used mods and went for Dawn Star rather than Silk Fox.
In Knights of the Old Republic, Revan x Juhani, which was sadly forgotten by the wider world.
In Dragon Age, Marian Hawke and the deeply, deliciously flawed, selfish, irresponsible Merrill. I love how straight up bad she is under that sexy Welsh accent and innocent demeanour.

Janeway/Seven of nine (I'm sorry I'm not sorry)

Heh, there's certainly fuel for that fire. Rewatched a few episodes of Voyager and their dynamic was certainly a bit more intense that I remembered. Like, Janeway's really invested in Seven of Nine.

Other ships... there's a few RPGs in here.

I'll always have a soft-spot for Ryouko x Aeka from Tenchi Muyo, as it was the ship that welded the slash goggles to my head.
Utena x Anthy kinda goes without saying.
Lain x Alice from Serial Experiments Lain.
Shion x Kos-Mos from Xenosaga.
Virginia x Maya from Wild Arms.
Lucretia x Lelei and Lucretia x Cathari from Suikoden V. There's probably more Suikoden goodness I can't reacall. There are lots of characters in that game.
Chie x Yukiko from Persona 4. I'd also like a nice girl for Aigis from Persona 3, but I'm not sure who.
Masqurin x Grace from Shining Force 3, which is a total crack pairing I have no justification for. I think it was just because I could 'soulmate' them in game.
Noel Vermillion x Makoto Nanaya from BlazBlue.
I never had an interest in Card Captor Sakura but, at one point, there was so much angst-ridden Sakura x Tomoyo fanfiction, I developed a strange affinity for the ship.
I dabble with the horrid life-destroying timesink known as League of Legends. Vi x Caitlyn and Leona x Diana are the mainstream-ish OTPs, I've also got a thing for Ashe x Sejuani.

And if I might add a dash of yaoi at the end... House x Wilson all the way!

Ooh, this was a gentler continuation than what I expected. I'm glad we're getting dynamics rather than a constant fever pitch, while still getting a nice little hook at the end. Maya's playing with her cards close to her chest. At least we've got an idea that her behaviour is tailored to Minato rather than pathological. I wonder what kind of juicy secret or wound we can expect? Is Maya going to go all yandere on us? I'm picturing binoculars, a duplicate set of house keys, and a chainsaw. Haruto had better have his running shoes on.

I feel like you might be part of the younger generation that did not endure the dark ages of "shoujo ai".

Would those be the days when there was little actual Yuri and we had to survive on a diet of Utena, Sailor Moon and Card Captor Sakura fanfiction? Or can I tell myself that I'm still young?

Another vote for playing Kindred Spirits here. I'd also give Black Closet a whirl. The 'Hella Yuri' list on Steam is a fun place to scour for similar games if that appeals. The blossoming of Western VNs has been a recent-ish lifeline for me.

Healthy relationships can start from very strange, and low places, and some of our most enjoyable kinks can blossom from trauma. If the situation were making both parties miserable, I'd certainly tag it as unhealthy, but it seems to be doing the opposite. Soha's getting used to close human company. I think it's a positive step when she introduces Gayoon to her family without the collar, as it shows Soha clearly values Gayoon as a friend rather than just a substitute for a dog, or a dirty little secret.

Before they go for a walk, Soha seems quite nervous about Gayoon's well-being and the collar's visibility, which shows that she's maybe a little bit ashamed and concerned at what she's putting Gayoon through, but Gayoon responds to Soha's hesitation with unbridled enthusiasm and acceptance.

Gayoon's relishing her role, not just enduring it as poor simulacrum of the relationship she wants. In fact, Soha sharing such socially-derisible needs is a deeper level of intimacy than a lot of normal relationships reach, and consequently more than Gayoon could have hoped for.

The way they stumbled into the situation is unrealistic. I guess that may be a fault of the form. I doubt the narrative would have the same momentum if it started off with people trawling profiles on FetLife or what-have-you. Besides, people who trawl FetLife likely don't want to read fiction about trawling FetLife.

I really hope this series continues in a therapeutic direction. Depicting non-vanilla relationships as unhealthy obstacles to surmount is a too-common trope. I'm praying that they find love, but keep the collar and leash... and that Soha finds her dog!

Ah, episode 13's out. I do wish they had the boldness to use the leash in public! Gayoon's adorable when she's comitting to the role. I love how disappointed she was at having to hide the collar. Gayoon may be getting a rise out of playing, but it's hard not to begrudge her joy when it's making Soha this happy. There's real generosity there.

I may have to bump this whenever a new chapter's released. I'm pinning my colours to this mast. The world needs more positive role-play. Whatever shape the relationship takes, and whatever issues are resolved, I hope they hold onto that collar and leash! It would be a shame to put aside something so fun.

http://www.usgamer.net/articles/maya-fey-returns-in-ace-attorney-6-fans-rejoice
OH MAN, FINALLY! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_lNNGjr8PI
Here's the subbed trailer, introducing Maya! Brings a tear to my eye when I hear the Turnabout Sister's theme

Oh, Lord, how did I miss this? Phoenix Wright was my sanctuary for so long. I'm embarrassingly stoked to have Maya return. She's like the world's adorable little sister. That Wright took her in really sold me on his character, made him a responsible adult rather than just a bumbling hero. I don't think I would have been invested otherwise.

I'll be honest. I nearly fell off the franchise with 'Dual Destinies'. Perhaps I'm in a minority, but I really enjoyed the reboot of 'Apollo Justice' and the new character design for Phoenix Wright. I loved the sense of life falling apart and moving on regardless. It was surprisingly deep for the series. 'Dual Destinies' frantically backpedalled on a lot of things, which was disheartening.

Still, I'm reboarding. I think I love the characters too much to ever truly give up on them.

This was a nice little doujin, and I'm totally up for more, even if I am Team Hina. There's nothing like a well-executed slow burn relationship.

Tangent: I would throw a lot of money at a sequel with willing spare, Nena as the protagonist. I'd love to see that cynical, unruffled exterior shaken up with romance.

There's such a sad undercurrent to this. Despite it being light-hearted and a bit naughty, it's very much about grief, loneliness, denial and frustration, all served in a sugary wrapping. I needed something like this in my life.

Am I a sentimental drip for hoping Soha finds her dog?

I guess it becomes even more horrifying and closer to home when you consider what we all go through. Your teeth fall out and new ones rupture through your gums. Hair sprouts in some potentially strange places. Fat and muscle distort your proportions. Your bones lengthen. Hormones turn your brain to mush, replacing your personality with a nonsensical, depraved mix of base urges. Skin boils over with acne.

Then once all that's over and you've half-adjusted to your hellish existence, the ageing process kicks in. Veins pop out. Skin wrinkles and sags. More hair appears, or falls out. Various joints give up the ghost and require artifical replacements. Your earlobes grow to the size of dinner plates.

And don't get me started on procreation! I suspect all body-horror falls short of normal human experience.

Erm... have a nice day?

While that's all true and horrifying, it still happens over a much longer period of time than here, so it's not really the same. Plus, everyone goes through that, unlike with this disease.

I could have instead made the comparison to labour, which is brutally transformative, results in the separation of organic matter that was once whole, takes place within half a day, creates a new life (which kind of happens in the manga) and is not a universal, or necessarily chosen, experience.

It's kinda fun to use the uncanny to recontextualise the mundane. Perhaps I need another hobby? Or a different set of neuroses?

I think I'll just watch Kashimashi again.